Archive for January, 2012
Thursday, January 26th, 2012
 Whether at work, at home, or on your mobile phone, here are 8 solid telephone etiquette tips everyone should be displaying at all times.
1. Always identify yourself at the beginning of all calls.
A) When in the office, always answer a telephone by saying: “Hello/Good Morning, Accounting Department, Syndi Seid speaking.”
B) From a cell phone, either simply say Hello, or state your name, Hello, Syndi Seid here. Do not answer by using words such as “yeah” or “yes.”
C) When placing a call, always state your name along with the name of the person you are calling. Example: “Hello, my name is John Doe from XYZ Corporation. May I please speak with Ms. Jane Smith?”
2. Be sensitive to the tone of your voice. Do not sound overly anxious, aggressive or pushy. It is important your tone conveys authority and confidence. Do not lean back in your chair when speaking on the telephone.
Tip: Sit up in your chair or stand during the conversation. When at home, use a personal tape recorder to privately record your own conversations. You will then hear how your sound to others.
3. Think through exactly what you plan to say and discuss BEFORE you place a call.
Tip: Jot down the items you want to discuss and questions you want answered. In other words, anticipate and expect you will be placed into a voicemail system; plan your message to be as direct and specific as possible, asking the person to respond to specific alternatives or questions. Do not say, “Hello, it’s Syndi, call me back.” At least state the subject about which you want the person to call you back about.
4. Do not allow interruptions to occur during conversations. Do not carry on side conversations with other people around you. The person on the telephone takes precedence over someone who happens to walk in your office or passes by while you are on the phone.
Tip: If you must interrupt the conversation, say to the person, “Please excuse me for a moment I’ll be right back.” And when you return, say, “Thank you for holding.”
5. Especially when leaving messages, speak clearly and slowly. Do not use broken phrases, slang or idioms. Always, always leave your return telephone number as part of your message, including the area code . . . and S-L-O-W-L-Y, including REPEATING your telephone number at the end of your message.
Tip: Practice leaving your number, by saying it aloud to yourself as slow as you have heard an informational operator say it.
6. Build the habit of always turning off your cell phone ringer when entering a meeting, restaurant, theater, training class, or other place where the purpose of your visit would be interrupted or others would be disturbed by hearing your cell phone ring.
Tip: If you are expecting an important call, inform the caller you will be in a meeting during certain times and state you will monitor your message indicator for when it illuminates you will excuse yourself to leave the meeting and return the call.
7. Always speak into the telephone receiver with an even and low tone of voice. Especially when speaking on a cell phone out in public, be sure to monitor how loud you may be.
Tip: Move the phone ear piece just slightly away from your ear and listen to yourself speaking. Discover whether you are speaking too loudly or too quietly for the other person to hear you.
8. Do not allow yourself to be distracted by other activities while speaking on the telephone, such as rustling papers, chewing and eating, working on the computer, or speaking with someone else. Most importantly, do not use a hand held cell phone while driving. Get a headset or speaker phone for the car.
Tip: Always treat every caller with the utmost courtesy and respect by giving him/her your undivided attention.
Question: What other items do you have to add to this list? Do let us hear from you by locating this article at www.AdvancedEtiquette.com/blog. You may also reach us at www.AdvancedEtiquette.com. If you enjoyed this article and want more, subscribe to our “Etiquette Tip of the Month” newsletter—at no charge—filled with great monthly tips on all sorts of topics from international business and social etiquette and protocol to everyday life subjects. It will be great to have you as a member of our happy family of subscribers at www.AdvancedEtiquette.com/subscribe.
Happy Practicing!
Tags: telephone etiquette, telephone manners
Posted in Business | 11 Comments »
Thursday, January 19th, 2012
 People have been going to the movies since 1897, yet sadly there is still a need to write about how to act there. Feel free to spread this Etiquette Tip far and wide. Perhaps my two cents will make a difference to the movie-going public.
What’s the first thing you think I will say about Etiquette at a movie theater? It is the first thing nearly everyone mentions to me as their biggest pet peeve at the movies. You guessed it . . .
1. Turn off your cell phone. I cannot except any excuse for a ringing cell phone in the theater or at any event OR MEETING (and that goes for pagers and alarm watches, too). Even the most inexpensive phones can be turned to “vibrate” or “meeting mode” with just a couple of steps. Theater managers post signs and present cute on-screen reminders. Everyone just needs to get in the habit. Please. Here’s my tip for those rare occasions when you must take a call while at the movies or similar situation: When it vibrates, immediately press the talk button on your cell phone to cease the ringing. You immediately whisper, “One moment please.” That’s it—nothing else. Do not say “Hello,” as that will prompt your caller to begin talking. After you exit the theater resume the conversation by stating, “Thank you for waiting—I was in a movie theater and couldn’t talk until I left the room.” Some people think text messaging is a remedy for not talking in a theater. These people are wrong. The glare and glow of the cell phone is just as disturbing as the ring and noise of a conversation. Leave the phone alone and just enjoy the show.
2. Be on time! The starting time of each film is posted in the newspaper, online, and at the theater. There’s no excuse for entering the theater and disrupting those who were courteous enough to arrive on time.
3. Be patient in line. No one enjoys an impatient person who constantly appears to be rushing and pushing his or her way through a line. Remember, there is no amount of shoving or complaining that will make the line go any faster.
4. Choose your seat with care. Look around as you find your seat. Once seated, remove your hat or any other item that could block the sightline of those behind you. Especially if you are tall or see a short person behind you, choose your seat with sensitivity. Here’s a quick story about a situation that happened to me while attending a late afternoon movie and inspired this month’s tip. My husband and I entered the theater to find only about a dozen other viewers seated at various locations in the theater. We chose seats in the middle of the theater in the middle of a row with empty seats all around us. Two big guys entered the theater and chose to sit literally in the seats right in front of us. The taller of the two sat right in front of me. I couldn’t believe it. The theater was practically empty, why did he choose to sit directly in front of little ol’ me? He literally blocked my view of the screen. I tapped the man on his shoulder and asked, “Could you please move a couple of seats either way. You are blocking my view?” I will not quote his response here, but I will say it was not friendly or favorable. We had to move to other seats…
5. Sit once and remain seated. No one likes to be seated beside or behind someone who gets up and leaves their seat several times before or, worse yet, during the movie. Plan ahead. Visit the restroom before taking your seat. Buy all the refreshments you may want and make all the calls you must before the movie begins. If you know you may have to leave during the film, choose a seat near the aisle and, preferably, near the rear of the theatre.
6. Refrain from ALL unnecessary talking once the film has begun. If you must talk, make it no louder than a whisper: If the person sitting next to you asks you to repeat yourself, then you know you are in the realm of the correct volume. Stop and think: Am I speaking at a volume even the person in front of me can likely hear? If the answer is yes or even maybe, then you are probably speaking too loudly. Holding side conversations, even in a whisper, can be heard. Make NO side comments. Also, laughing too loudly, especially when no one else is getting the joke, can be terribly annoying.
7. Always face the back of the theater when entering a row of seats. When entering a row to find a seat or leaving your seat to go toward the aisle, never allow your buttocks to be the face of neighboring people. Because of the way we bend as we sidle between the seats, our rear-end extends farther backward than our knees or chest. If you are facing the rear of the theater, your buttocks may touch the backs of the seats in the row in front and maybe even the back of the heads of a few people sitting there, but, if you face forward, your rear is in the face of all the people you pass—not a very positive appearance.
8. Check the ratings. Only bring children to movies that are content appropriate. Children—beginning about age four—will enjoy going to the theater to see appropriate movies. Until then, enjoy videos at home or hire a sitter when you want to enjoy a first-run feature. A noisy baby or a bored child who becomes disruptive bothers everyone in the theater.
9. Be quiet with every movement. Most candy, popcorn, and other food items sold in theaters are served in relatively quiet wrappers. Even so, try not to make excessive noise while eating or drinking. Don’t scrunch papers or boxes, don’t rattle or chew on the ice in your drink, don’t slurp the last of your drink through the straw, and, if you are eating something very crunchy, keep your mouth closed while you chew very gently and quietly.
10. Stay to the end of the film. Some people, including my husband, enjoy viewing the credits at the end of a film. Especially here in the San Francisco Bay Area where many films are made, the name of a friend or acquaintance may scroll by. If you are a person who does not enjoy viewing the credits or know you may have reason to leave the theater during the film, try to sit in an aisle seat or toward the back of the theater so you can exit with the least amount of disruption.
11. Showing “too much” affection in public: A darkened movie theater may feel like you are in a world of your own, but you’re not. Leave such displays for other private locations.
The Question of the Month:
Why are people so mean spirited these days? I am curious to know what makes people feel the need to have power over others in situations that serve no purpose, like the man who nearly ruined my movie experience. I wonder if there is anything we can do to help turn this seemingly epidemic around. Please submit your comments on our BLOG page at http://www.advancedetiquette.com/blog. Your responses could be the subject of a future tip.
Question: What other items do you have to add to this list? Do let us hear from you by locating this article at www.AdvancedEtiquette.com/blog. You may also reach us at www.AdvancedEtiquette.com. If you enjoyed this article and want more, subscribe to our “Etiquette Tip of the Month” newsletter—at no charge—filled with great monthly tips on all sorts of topics from international business and social etiquette and protocol to everyday life subjects. It will be great to have you as a member of our happy family of subscribers at www.AdvancedEtiquette.com/subscribe.
Happy Practicing!
Tags: going to the movies, manners at the movies, movie etiquette, movie theater etiquette, movie theaters
Posted in Life | 2 Comments »
Friday, January 13th, 2012
 The following is an article excerpted and reprinted by permission by my dear friends at Global Adjustments in Chennai, India . May this information serve as yet another chapter in your education on international cultural awareness.
The celebration of Pongal in South India, especially Tamil Nadu, is the most significant festival for the Tamils and is also called Tamizhar Tirunal (Festival of Tamils)—second in importance only to Diwali, the festival of lights.
Pongal is celebrated on the first day of the Tamil month Thai (January 14th or 15th) and signifies the end of the harvest season. Its history dates back to the Sangam age, from 200 B.C. to 300 A.D.
Kolam designs, intricate geometric patterns of dots and lines, are made with rice flour or limestone powder outside Tamilian homes and are said to usher in the Goddess of prosperity, Lakshmi. Pongal is celebrated over four days.
On the first day, Bhogi, houses are cleaned and all unwanted things are burnt in bonfires that burn through the night. This symbolizes the destruction of evil and ushering in of the good. In recent years, however, the State Government has banned the burning of certain material during Bhogi, especially rubber, because of the toxic gas and pollution produced!
On the second day, Pongal, people wear new clothes and offer thanks to the Sun God. Huge stalks of sugarcane decorate the courtyards in rural areas. These are held over the pot in which sweet pongal, a dish of boiled rice and pulses mixed with jaggery and fresh milk, is prepared. The milk is allowed to boil over as a reflection of plenty, meaning that the harvest has been good.
The third day, Mattu Pongal, is dedicated to the cattle that have helped to reap the harvest with their labour. The cattle are bathed, their horns brightly painted, turmeric and vermilion are applied to their foreheads and they are garlanded. Indeed, it is a very special day for the cattle as they are not only given pongal, sugarcane and other choice food to eat, but they are ritually worshipped. Bull fights and bullock-cart races are held in several villages in the south of Madurai, in Tamil Nadu.
Kaanum Pongal (seeing Pongal) marks the fourth and last day of the Pongal festivities. Dressed gaily, families picnic, visit relatives, and make a tour of the city. It is a day for the outdoors and most city dwellers throng the long stretch of the Marina Beach in the evening, making for a sea of humanity.
In northern India, Makara Sankranti and Lohri are celebrated to coincide with Uttarayana—the movement of the sun in the northerly direction in January. Sugarcane juice, jaggery and sesame sweets are distributed. Huge bonfires are lit and sweets and rice are offered to the fire.
BONUS: To learn more about this important festival and holiday, see www.123pongal.com. In fact, have fun sending someone you know from this culture a “Happy Pongal” card, as shown on this site and many other Internet sites.
Question: What other items do you have to add to this list? Do let us hear from you by locating this article at www.AdvancedEtiquette.com/blog. You may also reach us at www.AdvancedEtiquette.com. If you enjoyed this article and want more, subscribe to our “Etiquette Tip of the Month” newsletter—at no charge—filled with great monthly tips on all sorts of topics from international business and social etiquette and protocol to everyday life subjects. It will be great to have you as a member of our happy family of subscribers at www.AdvancedEtiquette.com/subscribe
Posted in International | No Comments »
Monday, January 2nd, 2012
Enjoying a Chinese meal or banquet is one of the best ways to spend time and share food and drink with family and friends… whether just for two, ten, or more guests. Here are ten tips keep in mind:
1. As a guest, never begin to eat or drink before your host does. Same as in Western etiquette you always wait for the host to initiate the beginning of each course. In Chinese etiquette the host will always begin each dish by serving the chief guest and one or two other guests nearby. Then he will invite everyone to please help themselves. You’re then allowed to begin serving yourself, but not without offering it to others first.
2. Do sample a bite of every dish. It is considered rude not to sample a bite of every dish. Your host will be looking at you to see your fortitude. Here’s a dish I know you will all want to try. It is one I heard about from one of my students. I was a delicacy prepared just for him of an exotic plate of marinated, deep-fried scorpions, completely intact with their stingers, on a bed of lettuce and rice. Sounds good right?
3. Always offer someone else food or tea before you serve yourself. You would be considered a pig and without manners if you serve yourself first. If you want another cup of tea or food, simply offer it to others before pouring or taking another helping for yourself.
Primarily for tea pouring, if you want another cup of tea, never serve yourself without serving other guests first. However, if your dining partner is immersed in a conversation with another dinner guest, do not interrupt by asking if they want more tea, just pour it. Generally, your dining partner will have noticed your kind act, and will signal a thank you by placing his/her index and third finger together on the table and tapping twice as a thank you. All this without interrupting the conversation.
4. Serving dishes are not to be picked up or passed around. You may reach across others to get to a dish and to reach for food with your chopsticks, using the reverse side not the side from which you eat.
At times the host is given an extra pair of chopsticks for just this purpose to serve others. Most banquets now use Lazy Susan tabletops and serving spoons.
5. Finishing all of your food may be an insult to your host, since it can mean he did not provide enough food and feed you enough, especially after seconds. Leaving a bowl completely full is also rude. If you don’t want any more food or any more tea or Chinese wine, etc. leave a small amount in your cup, glass, or plate., it gives you the out to say, “Oh, no thank you I still have some.”
6. Never be the one to take the last piece of anything. It’s considered bad luck and shows your greed and being too hungry. It is the host’s responsibility to monitor the various dishes and encourage the guest to take the last piece of something before the dish is removed from the table. A common phrase is to say, Please take the last piece so as not to waste it.
7. When laying your chopsticks down, do not lay your chopsticks parallel on the top of the bowl or leave them sticking in the bowl. It is considered rude and a sign of bad luck.
Instead you are to leave your chopsticks on the chopstick holder. You may also leave it resting diagonally on the plate, which is perhaps closest to western etiquette. Do not drop your chopsticks; it is considered bad luck.
Sticking your chopsticks straight up in your rice bowl is rude, since they will resemble the joss sticks used in religious ceremonies.
8. Business is not generally discussed during a meal. Good topics of conversation include Chinese art, food, and sights. Inquiries about the health and well-being of family members. As in all cultures, conversations are to be kept light and general, not heavy politics or religion.
9. As toasts are performed throughout a dinner, use both hands to show utmost respect. Customarily the host will begin the dinner with a toast of welcome, and then after the second or third course, the chief guest might say a few words and propose a toast, thereafter, toasts are free for all to propose. Generally initiated by the hosts side. Small toasts among two or three guests are also appropriate. It doesn’t always have to be among the entire table. You can toast with soft drinks, tea, or the brandy, wine or beer you might have.
Toasts are performed with the utmost respect using both hands around the cup or glass, raised to shoulder height, make eye contact with the host and all, smile, and taking a sip or “bottoms up,” similar as in Western culture. If one hand is used it must only be the right hand and the Chinese do not typically clink glasses.
10. The serving of fruit signifies the end of the meal. Generally, guests do not linger much past the end of the meal. The host encourages guests to take whatever food is left uneaten home. The guest of honor should be the first to arrive and the first to leave.
Happy Practicing!
ACTION ITEM: If you have other Chinese table manners to add to this list, please let us hear from you by replying to this blog. If you enjoyed this tip, check out others at www.AdvancedEtiquette.com/blog and sign up to receive them at no charge each month. It’s our way of staying in touch and being of service.
Tags: Chinese table manners, Eating with chopsticks, table manners
Posted in Cultural Awareness | 2 Comments »
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Whether at work, at home, or on your mobile phone, here are 8 solid telephone etiquette tips everyone should be displaying at all times.
