Archive for the ‘Business’ Category
Wednesday, May 1st, 2013
 Have you ever borrowed an item and never returned it? Have you promised to send a potential client or friend something, and never followed through? Have you said you’d call someone to invite him or her to lunch, but you never do it?
Worst of all, have you ever borrowed money or promised to pay someone a referral fee and never paid the money?
In a recent seminar I attended, a discussion broke out where nearly everyone had experienced some sort of unfulfilled promise. They all agreed it was a terrible situation happening among not only adults, even youths and teens were equally affected.
When I thought about this more deeply, I realized that both parties in these situations lose. The people who did not receive what was promised have sore feelings that will be forever remembered. These could lead to built-up negative feelings about the other person to the point where people vent through gossip, orally and even on social media.
For the people who did not fulfill their promise, their respect, reputation and level of integrity are diminished, if not lost. The longer the situation stays unresolved, the more possible that it can develop into loss of friendships and job promotions. Worst of all, the people can become the subject of malicious and exaggerated comments over time.
I’m bringing up this subject as a reminder to us all: We must make every effort to always fulfill our promises—small and large—and to only promise something when we truly intend to follow through.
Beginning this weekend, think about your unfulfilled promises:
- Make a list of all items you have ever borrowed. Locate them and return them. It doesn’t matter if you’ve had the item for years…better late than never in returning it.
- Do the same thing for the overdue sending of information, the money once borrowed, and the like. Get it together and do the right thing by getting that info and paying the person back.
Of course, when fulfilling the promise, enclose a nice handwritten note of apology for the delay and, in some instances, enclose a nice gift of appreciation.
Every fulfilled promise builds respect, integrity and reputation and shows others how trustworthy and honorable a person you are with the highest levels of integrity. Conversely, every unfilled promised equally adds to poor impressions and ultimately loss of friendships and business. Forever true in this digital age, the world—in an instant—knows all that is good and bad. We see all the highest praises and the greatest criticisms.
Actually, I rather like social media when it comes to business practices, as it is helping to build better businesses through comments shared on intolerance of poor behavior and lack of service. For anyone who serves customer and clients, now you see how extra crucial it is that all promises are kept and fulfilled. This is a major pet peeve most customers have of service providers.
And moving forward, pledge to never make new promises you know you’re not going to fulfill and keep and fulfill those you do make.
Question: What stories do you have to share about people you know who have not fulfilled their promise(s) to you? Here’s your chance to vent… no real names, please. Just share the story with perhaps fictitious names in the area below.
Happy Practicing!
Tags: Fulfilling promises, keeping promises, Keeping your word
Posted in Business, Communications, Everyday Life | 3 Comments »
Tuesday, April 2nd, 2013
 The hot new trend in meetings is video conference calls. Thanks to new advances in technology, this service is more affordable than meeting in person, and in many situations, it’s free.
Before I dive into the eight best practices for producing and attending video conference call meetings, here are three articles to review on how to produce great meetings in general:
Business Meeting Etiquette – The Participant (also at http://www.advancedetiquette.com/blog/communications/business-meeting-etiquette-part-the-participant/
Business Meeting Etiquette – The Facilitator (also at http://www.advancedetiquette.com/blog/communications/meeting-etiquette-part-2/
Conference-Calling Etiquette (also at http://www.advancedetiquette.com/blog/communications/conference-calling-etiquette/
Now, let’s get started. Here’s what to consider for both before the meeting begins and during the meeting:
1. Invest in a second camera or a moveable one. The best video conference call I ever attended did not use a static wall-mounted camera. Instead, someone rolled one camera on a tripod around the room. The camera operator could angle the camera for wider group shots, as well as point the camera toward each person, up close while speaking. Why was this great? There is nothing more boring than watching the same static screen over a long period. Now that cameras are becoming more economical, consider a moveable camera. If you already have a wall-mounted camera, consider bringing in a second camera to switch up, using for those closer shots when someone is speaking. You’ll produce a meeting that is almost as close to being in the same room—a primary goal of video conference call meetings.
2. Create name cards. Especially when conducting meetings among multiple locations, you need name cards: a) At the foot of the table or lower end of the screen to identify the location of that camera, such as India Office, Marketing Team, China Office; b) pre-printed —with both a first and last name—in big, bold letters (at least 40 point font size, filling the entire paper area) to help identify each participant and perhaps their title or company name when different. Only two or maximum three lines of information is necessary. Check just before the meeting to ensure all cards are facing the camera.
3. Put the facilitator and participants in the right place. Typically, facilitators stand at the far end of the table. Viewers see them at the top center of the screen, looking straight into the camera. However, this also causes all participants to face away from the camera. While unavoidable, remember that when participants speak, they should address the entire room and the camera. As the facilitator, if someone is only speaking to you, remind that person to face the camera.
4. Check the room and equipment beforehand. At least 45-60 minutes ahead (because even 30 minutes could be to too short to handle certain situations that may arise, especially when multiple locations are involved among multiple countries) check out the conference room to ensure the seating arrangement will allow everyone to be properly viewed on camera, the equipment is operational and ready to go, and the camera operator knows the various features of the system before the conference begins.
When using PowerPoint, video or audio clips, check to ensure they are fully functioning and can be seen and heard by everyone in all locations. There is nothing more annoying than having to stop the meeting for “technical difficulties.”
5. Choose visuals best for the camera. Avoid using only black text on a white background. Over time they are glaring and hard on the eyes. Use other background colors such as blue, green, gray, or purple. For each slide, use big, bold letters in a font size no smaller than 18 point that has no more than six lines of text per slide.
When using a marker board, use thick and wide dark colored markers, such as black, and navy blue. Avoid using colors that may be hard to view by colorblind people, such as red, green and brown.
6. Choose business clothing best for the camera too. Avoid large, bold, busy patterns (especially small or large stripes), and overly bright colors (including white) in clothing. Also avoid dark bold colors such as solid black, red, or navy. Instead, wear lighter shades, pastels, and muted colors. Great colors include pink, light blue, green, and fuchsia. Avoid shiny jewelry and other accessories that will catch flashes of light and be distracting. Think in terms of how television hosts and newscasters dress. By dressing appropriately, viewers will not be distracted by how you look and focus on the content of what you’re saying.
7. Make sure the room is neat. Typically, the entire room is visible to all viewers. Be sure the room is clean and neat. Avoid clutter such as boxes stacked up in the background, and messy lunch boxes, cell phones and sunglasses on the table. Stick to uniform pads of paper and beverage cups. Think in terms of staging a performance.
8. When speaking, look into the camera:
- Introduce yourself and look into the camera. If you are not within normal camera range or near a speaker box, move into range and speak toward the box. Designate someone at each location to serve as the camera and speaker monitor, to ensure people are seen and heard. If you are the facilitator, this shouldn’t be yet another task for you to handle.
- Speak in a normal tone. Do not push or amplify your voice. Typically, the sound is already amplified to catch everyone’s voices in the room. (For this reason, even the smallest noise, such as coughing, unwrapping plastic-wrapped candy, tapping a pen or finger, rustling paper and even whispered side conversations will all be picked up as background noise.)
- Remain as still as possible. Do not fidget, display repetitive nervous movements, or check your phone or email messages.
- Allow for delays. There may be split-second delays when transmitting over long distances and to other countries. Slow your speaking pace slightly to accommodate such delays, pause slightly between comments, and avoid interrupting another speaker. If you are a participant and want to speak, raise your hand to be recognized by the facilitator.
BONUS: Especially important for facilitators: Because you are facing viewers, whatever is to the left or right is actually the opposite for the viewer. Use words such as “my right” or “your left” whenever making such references.
Question of the month: What other great video-conferencing tips do you have to share? Be sure to enter them here.
Tags: video calling, video conference calling, video conferencing
Posted in Business | 4 Comments »
Monday, October 1st, 2012
 Among the many etiquette skills presented in our seminars, the one I enjoy sharing most is one of the simplest. It’s the Sandwich Technique; a tool managers use when they have to deliver unpleasant news, resolve a conflict, address a troubling situation or make a constructive complaint.
It’s easy and effective. Compliments and positive statements “sandwich” each side of the unpleasant news, thus making it easier to digest.
Follow these tips for best results:
- Begin the conversation with a genuine compliment and positive statement about the person in a non-judgmental, calm, and congenial tone of voice.
- When moving into the meat of the matter, use transition words such as regrettably, unfortunately, or however. Be specific. It’s best to state no more than two items to improve. This is not the time to air your laundry list of gripes.
- Remain calm throughout and speak in a low and even tone of voice. State the facts and don’t get emotional.
- Maintain an open and inviting body language. You don’t want to appear closed off, with your arms or hands folded.
- When an apology is warranted, don’t skirt it. Say “I’m sorry” or “I apologize” and show sincere regret as described in last month’s tip… [click here.] http://www.advancedetiquette.com/blog/everyday-life/saying-%E2%80%9Ci%E2%80%99m-sorry%E2%80%9D-and-meaning-it/
- Suggest specific ways to resolve the matter so the two of you can move forward.
- End with positive and encouraging statements that will help renew the relationship and allow everyone involved to feel good about the conversation that just took place.
- Follow up a few days later to see how the person felt about the conversation and confirm all is resolved or if further discussion is needed.
Its application is infinite. Use the Sandwich Technique to:
- Give feedback to employees, supervisors, and co-workers
- Resolve personal situations with family members, relatives, friends, and neighbors
- Express your complaints to vendors, suppliers, store personnel and the general public
If you practice this technique and make it a part of your life, you will be on the path to good leadership. You will be someone who cares about maintaining a relationship whenever an adverse situation arises. We all have conflicts in our lives. What’s important is how we handle them. The Sandwich Technique lets you build and maintain relationships without tearing down friendships or professional relationships. I hope you try it soon.
Question: Let’s us hear from you if you have any examples of how the Sandwich Technique has help you in your daily life.
Tags: Delivery bad news, Handling difficult situations, Sandwich Technique
Posted in Business | 4 Comments »
Tuesday, September 4th, 2012
 Do you know people who say, “I’m sorry,” yet continue the same offense over and over? A woman recently shared how much she disliked a friend who always apologizes for being late. Yet the friend continues being late for every occasion. Finally, she has given up on the person ever being a closer friend.
When you say you are sorry, you are supposed to mean it and make a conscious effort not to do it again. Over-using these words for every trivial situation — and especially for the same offense — diminishes its effectiveness, resolves nothing, and does not instill confidence toward rebuilding a relationship. Actually, it leaves the relationship with added frustrations.
“Love Story” author Eric Segal wrote the famous line, “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” But this is not correct thinking. I loved my Dad (who passed away in 2007), but I never heard him say, “I’m sorry” for anything. He would ignore the situation through a number of silent tactics. It would have been nice to hear him say, “I’m sorry” when it was called for.
Instead, I gravitate towards the words of Ella Wheeler Wilcox:
“There’s one sad truth in life I’ve found
While journeying east and west -
The only folks we really wound
Are those we love the best.
We flatter those we scarcely know,
We please the fleeting guest,
And deal full many a thoughtless blow
To those who love us best.”
So why is it that some people have such a difficult time apologizing? In seeking the answer, I found a great article by Brett & Kate McKay, titled: “How to Apologize Like A Man.”* This article describes how difficult it is for men to say these two simple words, why men don’t apologize, when to and when not to apologize, and how to apologize. It’s an interesting perspective that applies to women as well.
When saying, “I’m sorry,” here are five simple guidelines to follow:
1. Accept ownership and responsibility for your actions by admitting the mistake as soon as possible. Do not wait too long, as it will lose its impact.
2. Show sincere regret for what you have done by saying, “I’m sorry for…” or I apologize for… ”.
3. Explain why it was wrong to have done what you did, and how you see the damage and harm it has caused the relationship.
4. Ask the person to forgive you by saying, “Please forgive me.”
5. Finally, pledge you will do all you can to have this not happen again.
Apologies are meant to resolve the situation and rebuild a relationship. By practicing these simple steps, you are on the right path to retaining lifelong friendships.
Question: This tip came about as a result of polling people about their civility pet peeves. Several people submitted how they couldn’t stand people who constantly said, “I’m sorry” and apparently didn’t mean it, which prompted me to write this article. If you have civility pet peeves to add to my list, please share them. I’d enjoy writing about them.
*For those unable to use the link above, the article is also at: http://artofmanliness.com/2009/08/23/how-to-apologize-like-a-man/?utm_source=Daily+Subscribers&utm_campaign=79c71fefd4-RSS_EMAIL_CAMPAIGN&utm_medium=email/.
Happy Practicing!
Posted in Business, Communications, Everyday Life, Life | No Comments »
Monday, July 2nd, 2012
Every week I see articles on lack of workplace etiquette and civility. It appears co-workers, friends, and family members are not getting along and this is fast becoming an epidemic. People are also using the demise in civility and etiquette as a barometer for leaving jobs or cutting off friendships and relationships.
This month I’m sharing a ton of information on civility, including a list I’ve compiled on the subject, results of a hot-off-the-press annual survey called, “Civility in America: A Nationwide Survey,” plus links to more articles and additional free information you can download to help you in managing performance. I hope you will find all this information as eye opening as I have. Some 63% of Americans believe we have a major incivility problem in our country, and 81% of those surveyed believe incivility in our government is harming our country’s future.
Civility in America 2012 Overview, plus links to the full 14-page Executive Summary and Press Release (Also at http://www.webershandwick.com/civility/ and at http://www.webershandwick.com/civility/docs/2012_Civility_ExecutiveSummary.pdf)
Here is a list of incivility acts I have gathered from multiple sources. Do any of these resonate in your workplace or daily life? What other items would you add?
It is uncivil when people are:
- Using swear words
- Not greeting coworkers when arriving at work
- Shouting to others across the room or between cubicles
- Not offering guests a beverage or help hanging up coats, especially on rainy days with a dripping umbrella
- Taking calls on a speakerphone when others are within hearing range
- Wearing sloppy, un-pressed, or too-revealing attire
- Offering a weak handshake and failing to make eye contact
- Displaying poor dining skills
- Answering cellphones or texts during conversations, meetings, and meals
- Discussing personal problems, situations or affairs in too much detail
- Purposely embarrassing co-workers for the fun of it
- Not showing respect to the person conducting a meeting, speaking out too much in a meeting, or failing to understand their own rank during a meeting
- Showing up to work as though they just rolled out of bed, with messy hair, dirty finger nails, wrinkled or dirty clothes, messy make-up, bad breath, or dandruff
- Taking what isn’t theirs out of the refrigerator and bringing in stinky food to heat up in the microwave, such as leftover curry, fish, or garlicky dishes; taking the last paper towel sheet and not replacing the roll; or leaving messes for others to clean up
- Speaking too loudly, especially while using headphones and cell phones
- Talking too much during work and constantly bothering people with various comments
- Showing inappropriate photos of spouses or children
- Openly having an affair in the office
- Fighting with a spouse on the phone within earshot of others
- Not respecting other workers’ personal space.
- Chewing gum and making snaps, pops, and cracking noises. Sucking loudly on mints or candies
- Interrupting when someone is making a point in a meeting or delivering a presentation
- Not honoring someone else’s ideas and suggestions or taking them as one’s own
- Smirking to show they don’t agree with what the other person is saying
- Not contributing to a potluck lunch at work but eating more than others and taking home the leftovers
- Clueless about how to make a proper introduction
- Clipping nails at their desks, no matter how private
- (For men) Wearing pants that are too short, so socks and shin show when legs are crossed. Carrying lots of change in their pockets and jingling them all the time.
- Not enforcing a civility policy if they are managers, such as office rules, dress codes, and behavior. Also, while common sense guides most of us, people may be new to a professional environment and aren’t sure how to act
- Telling people about personal problems when asked how they are, instead of simply replying, “Fine, thank you, how are you?”
BONUS: Three tip-of-the-iceberg articles on workplace civility:
Look for more information in the months ahead on this crucial topic that is tantamount to our well-being.
Let me here from you if you would like me to come speak to your group about “workplace civility.” Be sure to add to the above list by submitting your pet peeves of incivility in the workplace and life to this blog or email me at Info@AdvancedEtiquette.com
Happy Practicing!
Posted in Business, Communications | No Comments »
Wednesday, June 20th, 2012
 Many Americans often display the Stars and Stripes, especially on holidays, such as Memorial Day, the last Monday in May, Flag Day (June 14) and Independence Day (July 4). Here are ten everyday tips to keep in mind when displaying a national, state, city, or company flag. Please keep in mind when you’re planning a special event or special use of flags, additional tips may apply. Contact us for guidance pertaining to your specific situations. There is great protocol on this subject.
1. Indoor versus outdoor flags: It is important to know the difference between flags made for outdoor versus indoor use; don’t confuse the two. Indoor and outdoor flags are different and should not be interchanged. Outdoor flags are usually made of light-weight nylon, while indoor flags are usually made of heavy-weight cotton or blended fibers and may have gold fringe. If you’re not sure whether yours is for indoor or outdoor use, call me. I’d be most happy to provide a free assessment.
2. Lighting: Always display a flag with proper lighting, either by sunlight or an appropriate lighting source. Do not display a flag in a dark, unlit corner. Unless a flag is made for heavy weather conditions, a flag is generally flown only in fair weather. When a flag is left flying overnight, it should not be left in the dark. It must be lit with a spotlight. Otherwise, it should be taken down and raised the following day.
3. Outdoor flags: Outdoor flags are raised at dawn and lowered at dusk. There may be exceptions to this depending on the circumstance. For example, on Memorial Day, flags are flown at half-mast until noon and at full-mast the rest of the day, until dusk.
4. Appropriate behavior: A flag is to be raised briskly and lowered slowly, it’s important to honor ceremonial traditions. When lowering the flag, no part of it should ever touch the ground or other objects. It should always be received by someone with open hands and arms. Always fold the flag neatly and with respect, especially at home… again honoring the ceremonial traditions.
5. Damaged flags: Do not display torn, tattered or frayed flags. If it’s in poor condition, have it mended immediately, or replaced. When destroying a flag it should be destroyed respectfully, generally by burning in a dignified manner. Take advantage of the resources to help dispose of damaged flags. Most American Legion Posts offer this service, often on Flag Day, June 14th. Many Cub Scout Packs, Boy and Girl Scout Troops also offer this service. TIP: Use this time of year to get yourself a new flag and discard the old one with dignity.
6. On a car: When displaying a flag on your car, it should be securely fastened straight-up on the front right fender.
7. Advertisements: Contrary to what we see in the media and elsewhere, the flag should never be used for advertising purposes, nor should it be used to carry or deliver anything, nor worn as clothing. It should not be embroidered onto baseball caps and other sports uniforms, nor printed on T-shirts and other articles of clothing. It should not be printed on anything intended to be discarded after a temporary use, such as paper napkins. These dos and don’ts are noted in all the etiquette books, so please—as the saying goes—don’t shoot the messenger! (… ah well, I suppose from now on, I won’t be wearing my flag vest, nor will I be allowing my husband to wear his flag tie, nor using anything with a flag on it.) Wait… there are exceptions! wearing a flag patch is acceptable on the uniforms of personnel such as military, police, fire and public safety, and by members of patriotic and officially sanctioned organizations, such as Red Cross, Salvation Army, Scouting organizations and others. When in doubt, contact me to assess the situation together.
8. Multiple flags: When displaying multiple flags on a flagpole, the U.S. flag should be the largest flag flown at the top. Other flags should be flown directly below in sizes no larger than the American flag. Make sure each flag is displayed in the proper order and position, each mounted and facing the same direction. There is a great deal of protocol to follow in this area, too numerous to list at this time—call me!
9. Showing respect: When saluting the flag, saying the Pledge of Allegiance, and singing the National Anthem, these are all done by standing at attention and facing the flag. Citizens will place their right hand over their heart. Anyone wearing a hat should remove it, male or female and regardless of the type of hat. Remove the hat by taking it off with the right hand, held to the left shoulder, with the hand over the heart. For military or others wearing official uniforms, hats should not be removed; rather stand at attention and salute.
10. Honoring the dead: When placing a flag at half-staff, first hoist it to the top, then lower it back down to a position halfway between the top and bottom of the flagpole. On certain holidays, such as Memorial Day, the flag is displayed at half-staff until noon and at full staff from noon to dusk (this was already briefly touched on in tip 3).
BONUS:
In the days ahead, look around your office and community and make note of how flags are being displayed and flown. If you are unsure about how your flags are being displayed, please contact me by telephone or email for a FREE assessment. Take a photo of your flag and email it to me. I’d be happy to confirm and help submit suggestions on to properly display your flag.
As you can see, flags should be taken seriously. For additional information, the U.S. Flag Code, as adopted by Congress, may be seen at http://www.ushistory.org/betsy/flagcode.htm. Other sites are also available by searching the keywords “flag etiquette.”
P.S. If you think no one’s paying attention, how about these examples of flag etiquette violations in recent news reports:
April 2004, McDonald’s raises flag to full staff after customer complaint. McDonald’s official said Wednesday that the company erred when it asked its restaurants to fly flags at half-staff to honor a company official, who died April 19.
April 2006, protesters held a U.S. flag upside-down to protest pending federal legislation, in Costa Mesa, California. Section 8a., “The flag should never be displayed with the union down, except as a signal of dire distress in instances of extreme danger to life or property.”
Super Bowl 2004, Janet Jackson’s “costume malfunction” made international news; that same half-time show featured the wearing of an American flag by performer Kid Rock. He later removed the flag poncho and hurled it over his head. Section 8d. says, “The flag should never be used as wearing apparel.”
In July 2003 President Bush autographed a small flag. This picture was circulated across the Internet noting its violation of the Flag Code: “The flag should never have placed upon it, nor on any part of it, nor attached to it any mark, insignia, letter, word, figure, design, picture, or drawing of any nature.”
Question: What other items do you have to add to this list? Do let us hear from you by locating this article at www.AdvancedEtiquette.com/blog. You may also reach us at www.AdvancedEtiquette.com. If you enjoyed this article and want more, subscribe to our “Etiquette Tip of the Month” newsletter—at no charge—filled with great monthly tips on all sorts of topics from international business and social etiquette and protocol to everyday life subjects. It will be great to have you as a member of our happy family of subscribers at www.AdvancedEtiquette.com/subscribe.
Happy Practicing!
Posted in Business, Cultural Awareness, Life | No Comments »
Friday, June 1st, 2012
 “Laws come into effect, when etiquette fails” is a most appropriate comment by etiquette maven Judith Martin. Her point fits well with how we have had to pass laws governing the use of the Internet in marketing and advertising and telephone and cell phone solicitations. Although time and laws have helped to reduce the offenses, yet I still get spammed regularly which has led to this article as a good reminder.
Business owners, companies, and consumers understand the value and importance of marketing as an integral component to gain visibility and sales for a company, product, or service. In the last decade the rapid boom of the Internet, easy access to broadcast e-mail, and other new technologies in global telecommunications has become an all-too tempting advertising medium. Low-cost use became abuse. Representative Heather Wilson (R-NM) stated it well when she said, “Today, it’s a nightmare that threatens to overwhelm people’s legitimate use of the Internet, all the technologies and filters have failed to keep our in-boxes free of junk.”
Most companies want to properly use the Internet, telephone, and fax as legitimate methods for their sales and marketing strategy. People have wondered, however, what is proper and within etiquette? How do we weed out the good, bad, and ugly in unwanted solicitations?
At a convention in Orlando, Florida, in October 2003, the three leading advertising trade groups-the Direct Marketing Association, The American Association of Advertising Agencies, and The National Advertisers-agreed to the following guidelines for use of e-mail which is now standard practice.
E-Mail Advertising Guidelines
The subject line of an e-mail must be honest and not misleading. Senders should include a valid return e-mail address and physical address. Firms should also use their company or brand names in their domain address, and throughout the message. The e-mail should identify the sender and the subject at the beginning. All commercial e-mail should provide customers with a clear electronic option to opt out. And it must be easy to use. A company with multiple affiliates should offer notice and opt-out for each separate brand, or those that the consumer is likely to perceive. Firms should not acquire e-mail addresses surreptitiously through robots, spiders, and other automated mechanisms without the consumer’s consent. Marketers are also prohibited from using the dictionary attacks or other mechanisms for fabrication e-mail addresses without providing notice and choice. Opt-out requests must be honored in a reliable and prompt way. “Remove means remove,” the groups said.
E-mail lists should not be shared with third parties unless consumers have been given notice and choice. That restriction includes other brands and subsidiaries within the same parent company.
A commercial e-mail should contain the sender’s privacy policy-in the body of the message or via a link.
Guidelines Become Law
These e-mail guidelines were then incorporated into Public Law No. 108-197, the S.877 CAN-SPAM Act of 2003 (Controlling the Assault of Non-Solicited Pornography And Marketing Act), as signed into law by President Bush in December 2003, and effective on January 1, 2004. This Act and all its associated bills are all part of the national effort to stop the proliferation of unwanted e-mails. As reported in the cover story of the January 27, 2004 issue of DMNews-the Online Newspaper of Record for Director Marketers-Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates is on record predicting, “Two years from now, spam will be solved.” Believe me, this is one prediction the world hopes is right. For a Summary, Bill Text, and Current Status of this Act, see Spam Laws: The United States CAN-SPAM Act , also at http://www.spamlaws.com/spam-laws.html
Other national services are in place to help both businesses and consumers comply with the guidelines for telemarketing by telephone and fax too.
To eliminate unwanted telephone marketing calls: With your active e-mail address, take a few minutes to get yourself on the National Do Not Call Registry, online at http://donotcall.gov. For consumers without an e-mail address, you may call toll-free to 888-382-1222 (TTY 866-290-4236). Other information and questions may be found through the Federal Communications Commission, Consumer and Governmental Affairs Bureau, at http://www.fcc.gov/cgb/consumerfacts/tcpa.html or toll-free at 888-225-5322 (TTY 888-835-5322).
To view basic facts about telemarketing, a State of California site is also at http://www.dca.ca.gov/publications/telemarket.shtml , offers information on how to be a good telemarketer and to know as a consumer how the law is on your side. The site provides information on how to get off and stay off marketing lists; how-to protect yourself from being spammed; and how to know if you are being potentially ripped off by credit card, international investment, and lottery scams.
With this knowledge in hand, you may want to take time to adjust your marketing messages and clean-up your database by doing the following:
For businesses:
Review the items contained in the E-mail Advertising Guidelines and in the CAN-SPAM Act of 2003 to verify you are in full compliance with the information you tell and send consumers. Make the necessary adjustments to your web site, e-mail broadcasts, fax announcements, and telephone scripts to properly identify your business and to allow the receiver the choice to be removed from your contact list. Consider contacting your clients and customers, by sending an e-mail, fax, or postcard informing them you are updating your database and want their permission to continue receiving your information. Then be sure to provide easy steps on how they can opt-out, if desired. When placing cold calls and other telemarketing calls, identify yourself at the onset of the call and how you got their name and contact information. For example: “I received your information because of your membership in the San Francisco Chamber of Commerce.” Establish a system to keep track of individuals and companies who specifically request to be placed on a Do Not Call list-and do not call them again!
For consumers:
For telephone calls, create your own Do Not Call sheet listing the exact date and time of the call, the representative’s and company’s name with whom you’ve requested not to receive further calls. For e-mails and faxes, keep a separate folder in your computer or file to hold all the remove requests you’ve placed; and again refer to it each time the offense is repeated. Keep the list nearby whenever receiving calls, faxes, and e-mails. Call attention to the companies by specific name, date, and time, repeating your adamant request to be placed on their Do Not Call list. Remind them of your right to seek legal action against this company should the calls persist. Nowadays most telephone systems include Caller I.D. as standard equipment. In most situations, where the caller has blocked their number from being viewed, it will automatically block that call from being connected at all. Also, for those unsolicited numbers you see over and over again on your Caller I.D., take time to jot them down as well. After three calls are noted, you will have the proof to report these calls as spam.
Following the law, following the E-mail Advertising Guidelines, and using professional business practices in all your marketing efforts-being honest, straight-forward, and genuine-will ensure you are performing appropriate marketing efforts rather than sending junk mail and spam destined for the delete box.
Question: What other items do you have to add to this list? Do let us hear from you by locating this article at www.AdvancedEtiquette.com/blog. You may also reach us at www.AdvancedEtiquette.com. If you enjoyed this article and want more, subscribe to our “Etiquette Tip of the Month” newsletter—at no charge—filled with great monthly tips on all sorts of topics from international business and social etiquette and protocol to everyday life subjects. It will be great to have you as a member of our happy family of subscribers at www.AdvancedEtiquette.com/subscribe.
Happy Practicing!
Tags: advertising etiquette, email etiquette, marketing etiquette, spam etiquette, telemarketing etiquette
Posted in Business | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, May 1st, 2012
Some time ago we published an article on the basics to networking etiquette. Lately I’ve realized the true secret to networking etiquette and success is much more than what was first reported. Check out Networking Etiquette (also at http://www.advancedetiquette.com/blog/2011/02/) to review the basics, then continue with the below addition to this important topic.
Susan Roane, author of the best-selling book How To Work A Room advises how a person should never not follow-up with a person they meet, because if you don’t that person will become a one night stand. Although this may be a corny analogy, the truth is no one likes to be a one night stand, personally or professionally.
Networking etiquette and success is in the connections made long after the event is forgotten.
 Ask yourself: How well do I follow up and stay in touch with the new people I meet? Most people agree this is where they drop the ball. It’s fun to meet and greet new people, but then what? The cards get placed in a box or tossed? What steps should be taken to ensure networking success?
Before the event:
Develop a contact management system (CMS). It doesn’t matter whether you are a student, stay-at-home Mom or Dad, or a business professional of any kind, or level. Everyone should have a system by which to keep all contacts of people they meet. This can be as simple as an alphabetized card filing case, Excel spreadsheet, or a dedicated software program. What matters is you have a system that works for you in being able to find someone when you want.
During the event:
Spend time with the person you are meeting to a point you’ll be able to remember the person at a future time. Learn to pronounce their name correctly, ask for and equally provide information about yourself to begin the journey of building a friendship. Learn about things you have in common which is the basis of all friendships. I network primarily to build new friendships and to renew former ones. You’ll be amazed at what great and unexpected bonuses come from just being friends.
Soon after the event:
When you get home, be sure to write the date and location, event, or occasion at which you met on the back of each card and include all information learned from the person for future reference. Enter the person in your CMS and send the person an email and/or a handwritten note by regular mail. What can I say? The most memorable messages I receive are those from people who take the time to send me a handwritten note. I definitely make a note of this in my system. A note need not be fancy or lengthy, just a few simple sentences will do: Dear Syndi Seid: I thoroughly enjoyed meeting you at the Chamber event Tuesday evening. I look forward to more opportunities for us to continue getting better acquainted. Please don’t hesitate to call me if I can be of any help to you. I’d enjoy hearing from you. All the best, Jane Doe. P.S. Attached is our brochure for you to learn more about our business. When being in contact after the event, it should be done as soon as possible—ideally within a week, before too much time passes.
Other follow-up ideas include sending the person an article of interest, a lead or referral, or an email with a helpful resource. Invite the person to meet for coffee, for a telephone meeting, to meet up at another networking event. There are infinite ways to continue building the relationship.
Staying in touch:
Develop a plan by which you will stay in contact with the people you meet over time. A monthly newsletter like ours is an excellent way to stay in touch with folks. A nicely formatted social media page is yet another good way to stay in touch, inviting folks to join your LinkedIn or Facebook group. Organize your contacts into various groups, such as by geography, industry, potential clients/employers, personal friends who like wine, traveling, vendors and suppliers, etc. When something arises in a particular category you’ll be able to share the information with that special group of contacts. Beyond this the universe and the laws of attraction will come into play… I guarantee it!
Here are two true stories to help illustrate these principles:
Story 1: I met a woman named Jane at a networking event where she happened to mention she was born under the astrological sign of Aries… which I then made a note in my database. A few years later a friend was organizing an Aries party and wanted names of people born under this sign. I looked in my database and pulled up several names. Among them was Jane, whom I hadn’t seen in years. We invited her and received a most joyous reply about being remembered and invited. We reconnected at the party, where I learned she was now employed in the HR department of a major company and was thinking about calling me for a possible workshop. The end result was two months later I was able to be of service to Jane and her company. I had no thought of inviting her to this party for any business gain; yet this is a great example of what networking is all about and what they call the Law of Business Attraction*. Similar situations have happened where I hear about people receiving major leads and referrals as a result of seeing folks at parties. *Email me for details on how you can receive a copy of my #1 Best Seller book, The Law of Business Attraction, Secrets to Cooperative Success, at a special discount—just for readers of this blog—where 20+ authors, including myself, tell our stories about how they have attracted business in ways most unexpected. My chapter is on “Party your way to Success.”
Story 2: I know a college student named Will who at his school’s career day event met a CEO of a major corporation, Mr. Smith. This company was Will’s #1 choice at which he wanted to work when he graduated and told Mr. Smith exactly that. Mr. Smith reply was, Great! let me hear from you when you graduate and we’ll see what we can do to find you a position. Graduation was over a year away. Will knew he had to stay in touch to be remembered, so he immediately followed up with Mr. Smith by sending him a handwritten note, sent by regular mail, thanking him for the great chat and mentioned that if there was ever an internship available (paid or unpaid) he was most interested and enclosed his resume. Next, at the end of that year, Will sent Mr. Smith a personalized holiday card with a brief update on his studies. Finally, when Will graduated in May of the following year, he wrote Mr. Smith to say he was ready for full-time employment. Because Mr. Smith was kept informed of Will’s progress in school and was already impressed with Will for staying in touch, Mr. Smith’s personally referred Will to the HR department. The HR department thinking Will was someone special for the CEO to have recommended him, HR knew they had to find Will a position right away. Will achieved his goal of being employed by his dream company, due to his systematic approach to staying in touch.
Conclusion:
The days of attending events and winning the contest for the most cards collected in an evening are long past. Today’s trend is to attend networking events to meet only a hand-full of new people with whom you will follow-up and follow-through to stay in touch.
Remember, networking is not about how much you can get from the other person. It’s about what you can do for the other person in the spirit of friendship that will naturally be returned in kind. By helping others, they will truly want to help you in return.
Happy Networking!
Posted in Business | No Comments »
Thursday, March 1st, 2012
 “Branding” is used to describe almost everything these days: products, businesses — even humans. This month’s tip is all about building your own etiquette brand. How do you think people are describing you? Will it be good or bad? Are you doing the right thing? Why or why not? The following will set you on the right path to success:
1. People will care about you if you care about them. I hear this comment all the time: Why should I care about my boss, co-worker, sibling, relative, or friend, when she or he doesn’t seem to care about me? What other people do or say to you has nothing to do with what you do or say unto them! This is not, as the Bible suggests, an eye for an eye. Don’t lower yourself. Treat everyone with the same level of courtesy, kindness, honesty, respect, and consideration.
2. Be clear about your brand and make decisions based on it. When planning my etiquette brand, I consciously thought about the kinds of people I like to hang out with: People who are fun, yet are equally nice in their overall behavior toward others and me. I realized there are certain types of people who just aren’t my cup to tea: those who use profanity and those who drain my positive energy. Truly, these are good people, yet how they have chosen to live their lives is not the same as how I am choosing to live mine. So when it comes to etiquette, work at attracting and sustaining friendships among people who display the same good qualities you aspire to possess.
3. Excel in what you know best and then work on what needs improving. In “Soar with Your Strengths,” by Donald Clifton and Paula Nelson, the authors discuss an approach to succeeding in every aspect in life. Rather than concentrating on fixing our weaknesses, we should be focusing on enhancing and soaring with our strengths. In time, the weaknesses are out-shadowed by our strengths, leaving the diminished weaknesses easier to manage. For example: When parents see their child achieving “A” grades in every subject but one, they often choose to divert all their resources and energy to helping their child bring up their grade in the weaker subject. Instead, had the parent put all their resources into developing their child’s interests in the “A” subjects they like.
4. Being different is fine. Students often tell me they are afraid of standing out at an event due to acting correctly, such as wearing a name badge differently and using a fork in their left hands. The people you call friends will like you, despite your being a little different and more correct. Branding often means standing out from the crowd. When it comes to etiquette, standing out may mean you are doing the right things at the right time and in the right way.
5. Be real in all you do. I once tried using minor swear words in my speech, just to blend in and be more “real.” I quickly discovered this was not me. Not only did I feel awkward, I sensed people were truly miffed at hearing such words out of my mouth, even though other people say them regularly. I thought this was a harmless way of wanting to be more like others. Wrong! I was not striving toward the highest and best standards at all times. Being real also means not doing certain things for the wrong reasons, such as giving someone a gift or writing a thank-you note just because you want that person to think favorably of you (also known as kissing up). For the best results physically, mentally, and spiritually, show etiquette without any expectation of gain or reward.
6. Etiquette is a lifetime of practice, practice, practice. It’s like being a broken record.* You have to do it repeatedly: displaying, showing, and reminding yourself and others of the correct and appropriate behavior. This is how we will all help to change the world in which we live.
7. Be proud without being a braggart. Do you know people who are always telling you about the great things they do for others? While it’s great to be proud of your accomplishments, it’s also good etiquette not to brag about it. Instead of tooting your own horn, the goal of etiquette branding is having others talking positively about you. Etiquette is all about doing things silently and without anyone noticing. Do the right thing without any pre-meditated strategy in mind.
8. Don’t give up It is said, “The road to success is never finished.” Building an etiquette brand is not easy, nor is it something you can stop working on at any point. It’s not something you turn on and off at will. It must be a way of life in all you do at home, at work and out in life. We all get weary from time to time, and ask ourselves, “Why am I doing this… especially when the other person doesn’t appreciate anything I do or say? When this happens, call me for some consoling, and remember Tip Number 1. Be strong in knowing you have chosen the best path to living the best life possible, one step at a time.
BONUS: William Arruda, the personal branding guru, says, “All strong brands exhibit the three Cs of brand communications: Clarity, Consistency, and Constancy.” For another perspective on branding your business, see an article by Arruda, “Top Ten Willisms” [hyperlinked] … also at http://www.thepersonalbrandingblog.com/author/william-arruda/. It was the inspiration for this article.
*For those of you too young to know what a broken record means, it is a term from when phonograph records were the only way to hear recorded music, speech and sounds. It is a flat round disc with groves that held the sounds we played on a phonograph. When a grove got scratched it would cause the playing needle to fall into the same grove over and over again, thus playing the same sound over and over and over again… hence the term known as playing a broken record.
Question of the month: What is your etiquette brand? What stories do you have to share about the times you showed your etiquette brand or had people touting it back to you?
Tags: image, personal brand, personal image
Posted in Business, Image, Life | No Comments »
Thursday, January 26th, 2012
 Whether at work, at home, or on your mobile phone, here are 8 solid telephone etiquette tips everyone should be displaying at all times.
1. Always identify yourself at the beginning of all calls.
A) When in the office, always answer a telephone by saying: “Hello/Good Morning, Accounting Department, Syndi Seid speaking.”
B) From a cell phone, either simply say Hello, or state your name, Hello, Syndi Seid here. Do not answer by using words such as “yeah” or “yes.”
C) When placing a call, always state your name along with the name of the person you are calling. Example: “Hello, my name is John Doe from XYZ Corporation. May I please speak with Ms. Jane Smith?”
2. Be sensitive to the tone of your voice. Do not sound overly anxious, aggressive or pushy. It is important your tone conveys authority and confidence. Do not lean back in your chair when speaking on the telephone.
Tip: Sit up in your chair or stand during the conversation. When at home, use a personal tape recorder to privately record your own conversations. You will then hear how your sound to others.
3. Think through exactly what you plan to say and discuss BEFORE you place a call.
Tip: Jot down the items you want to discuss and questions you want answered. In other words, anticipate and expect you will be placed into a voicemail system; plan your message to be as direct and specific as possible, asking the person to respond to specific alternatives or questions. Do not say, “Hello, it’s Syndi, call me back.” At least state the subject about which you want the person to call you back about.
4. Do not allow interruptions to occur during conversations. Do not carry on side conversations with other people around you. The person on the telephone takes precedence over someone who happens to walk in your office or passes by while you are on the phone.
Tip: If you must interrupt the conversation, say to the person, “Please excuse me for a moment I’ll be right back.” And when you return, say, “Thank you for holding.”
5. Especially when leaving messages, speak clearly and slowly. Do not use broken phrases, slang or idioms. Always, always leave your return telephone number as part of your message, including the area code . . . and S-L-O-W-L-Y, including REPEATING your telephone number at the end of your message.
Tip: Practice leaving your number, by saying it aloud to yourself as slow as you have heard an informational operator say it.
6. Build the habit of always turning off your cell phone ringer when entering a meeting, restaurant, theater, training class, or other place where the purpose of your visit would be interrupted or others would be disturbed by hearing your cell phone ring.
Tip: If you are expecting an important call, inform the caller you will be in a meeting during certain times and state you will monitor your message indicator for when it illuminates you will excuse yourself to leave the meeting and return the call.
7. Always speak into the telephone receiver with an even and low tone of voice. Especially when speaking on a cell phone out in public, be sure to monitor how loud you may be.
Tip: Move the phone ear piece just slightly away from your ear and listen to yourself speaking. Discover whether you are speaking too loudly or too quietly for the other person to hear you.
8. Do not allow yourself to be distracted by other activities while speaking on the telephone, such as rustling papers, chewing and eating, working on the computer, or speaking with someone else. Most importantly, do not use a hand held cell phone while driving. Get a headset or speaker phone for the car.
Tip: Always treat every caller with the utmost courtesy and respect by giving him/her your undivided attention.
Question: What other items do you have to add to this list? Do let us hear from you by locating this article at www.AdvancedEtiquette.com/blog. You may also reach us at www.AdvancedEtiquette.com. If you enjoyed this article and want more, subscribe to our “Etiquette Tip of the Month” newsletter—at no charge—filled with great monthly tips on all sorts of topics from international business and social etiquette and protocol to everyday life subjects. It will be great to have you as a member of our happy family of subscribers at www.AdvancedEtiquette.com/subscribe.
Happy Practicing!
Tags: telephone etiquette, telephone manners
Posted in Business | 11 Comments »
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Have you ever borrowed an item and never returned it? Have you promised to send a potential client or friend something, and never followed through? Have you said you’d call someone to invite him or her to lunch, but you never do it?
