Archive for the ‘Life’ Category
Tuesday, July 5th, 2011
 Are you regularly late to appointments? This is perhaps my all time worst pet peeve: people who are constantly late. Sure, we all are late at one time or another, but for the person who is habitually late, it is simply rude, inconsiderate, and selfish, with little or no real excuse for it.
Some people have argued it is a sociopathic disorder. Maybe so. Regardless of the reason, I believe it is manageable if not curable, and no different for some people than losing weight. You just have to care enough to make up your mind to take the necessary steps to remedy the situation.
On the surface, people who are constantly late don’t seem to care about themselves or others, no matter how many times they are scolded and joked about. It just goes in one ear and out the other. So what can be done?
1. Change your attitude. Before any of the tips that follow can be successful, you must change your attitude and mindset about being late. You must recognize and care about how it affects others.
For instance, when you are late, it often throws the timeline and agenda off schedule. It is most rude to have people waiting for you to show up and then having everything else that follows be late, too.
Once you recognize this as a bad habit, only then will you be on the road to recovery.
2. Begin in stages. Begin by posting a written pledge to yourself—on your bathroom mirror, your refrigerator, or someplace visible at all times—that for a period of one week, from this date to this date, you will make every effort to be on time for every appointment.
Monitor your progress at the end of each day in writing and make written notes of any adjustments you need to improve. Just thinking about it doesn’t cut it, because your thoughts are too easily forgotten.
At the end of the first week, give your self a big smile and a pat on the back. Relax in knowing you have actively taken the first steps to improving your life. Thereafter, just keep going for another week, understanding practice makes perfect. Once you can go two weeks without being late, then set the goal for one month and so on. Believe it or not, soon you will be on the path of success and will rarely be late again. These techniques do work.
3. Plan ahead.
From this point forward, you will never be scrambling at the last minute, which may have been among the reasons you were late. Get prepared one or more days ahead of time by using the following tips:
- Make yourself a written checklist and timeline to follow, and follow it to help you get on the right path to success
- Organize a permanent place in your home or office for fast getaways. Always set your regular pocket items such as wallet, keys, briefcase, and purse there.
- Set out exactly what you want to wear at least one or two days ahead. This will give you time to get items cleaned or ironed.
- Set up a place, within easy grabbing distance, for all items needed for the day of the appointment.
- Each morning, listen to the radio or television, or look up online the latest weather conditions and traffic reports to determine whether you will have to leave your house earlier than usual.
- Pay attention to the news for major local events that will impact your normal routes across town.
- When preparing for important appointments, anticipate that things will take double the time you think and allow the extra time, just in case. If you get done sooner, relax and have an extra cup of coffee or sit and relax.
- If you are sleep deprived, get to sleep earlier the night before. Instead of doing one or two extra tasks at night, jot them down so you won’t forget to do them the next day. If you have trouble getting up in the morning, seek professional help to get this problem under control.
- Until you are well established in a routine of not being late in the morning, set your alarm clock to get up one hour early to allow plenty of time to get ready and leave.
- If you enjoy a cup of coffee or breakfast at home, get a coffee maker with an alarm and prepare and set it the night before. It’s the closest thing to having room service in the morning.
- Plan to leave your house or office at least 30 minutes earlier than you have in the past, for every appointment. Your new rule is now “better early than late.” In fact, I’m happier to be someplace even 30 minutes early than to be one minute late.
If you’re late anyway:
1. Call the person to let him or her know. Because we all have cell phones now, there is absolutely no excuse for not doing so. Inform the person as to approximately how long you will be delayed, so he or she will know when next to expect you.
2. When you arrive, do not make a big fuss over being late. For meetings in progress, enter the room and take a seat quietly. When appropriate, apologize for being late with a one-sentence reason for your delay. When you are sorry and apologize, and your apology is accepted, it means you acknowledge your mistake and will not repeat it. Otherwise, the apology is meaningless.
QUESTION OF THE MONTH: Are you a person or do you know people who are constantly late? How do you feel and what do you think of about him/her always being late? What tips do you have to share to help others not be late? And when you are late, how have you gracefully recovered? I’d love to hear from you.
Happy Practicing!
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Tags: being late, being on time, being tardy, lateness, not being late, tardiness
Posted in Business, Life | 11 Comments »
Monday, June 27th, 2011
 Interestingly enough this topic has come up more than once in recent months. It has lead me to think others of you may be pondering these same issues . . .
Always leave both the toilet seat and cover down when you finish using the commode. This applies to both men and women, whether at home and in public facilities.
Never use the last sheet of bathroom tissue without informing the host. Better yet, a host should leave extra rolls in plain sight for guests to access and replace when needed.
Remember to be respectful of a person’s home. Do not rummage around in cabinets for items you may want, such as aspirin. Instead, always ask the host to assist you.
Always flush. This should be common sense. Flushing is as much a priority as washing your hands. The wide use of toilet and urinal sensors has made the issue of flushing a moot point in most public bathrooms. If, however, the bathroom you’re using does not have a sensor, it’s up to you to flush immediately after you finish. The old rule of “if it’s yellow let it mellow, if it’s brown flush it down.” does not apply to public facilities. Urinals need to be flushed too—it will help keep foul odors at a minimum.
Flushing is just one part of keeping any bathroom tidy. Don’t forget to also pick up any toilet paper if it has fallen to the floor, remove any newspapers or reading materials that you’ve brought in, and clean up the toilet seat or rim if you’ve splattered. It’s important to treat a public or friend’s bathroom with even more care and respect than you treat your bathroom at home.
Don’t conduct business in an office or public bathroom. A public bathroom is not a cubicle with a toilet. Therefore, don’t use this very specific space to conduct business, make phone calls, or send e-mails.
Wash your hands! This should be self explanatory. Germs are spread through contact. Washing your hands not only helps disinfect the germs that were on you before you went into the bathroom, but makes sure you walk out with fewer germs on your hands than when you walked in.
Sink usage. If you are going to use the sink do not make a mess. Do not be splash water all over. And, if you: shave, comb, brush, or cut your hair around the sink take the time to clean up after yourself.
Stall and urinal choices. You should always chose the toilet stall or urinal which gives both you and other people in the bathroom the most “buffer room”—the one on the end. If there is only one stall or urinal left—wait—No one wants to feel crowded.
Use the trash recepticles. Put your used paper towels and any other trash in a recepticle, never just toss it on the floor or in the general direction of the recepticle as your’re leaving.
BONUS TIP: When placing a new roll of bathroom tissue in its holder, the tissues are to be unrolled from over the top, so the end hangs in front of the roll, not behind. Of course, if you have a cat or a child that unrolls the toilet paper onto the floor or into the toilet bowl, that’s different—you may let the end hang behind the roll.
QUESTION: WHAT OTHER ITEMS DO YOU HAVE TO ADD TO THIS LIST? Do let us hear from you in the area below. You may also reach us at www.AdvancedEtiquette.com. If you enjoyed this article and want more, subscribe to our “Etiquette Tip of the Month” newsletter—at no charge—filled with great monthly tips on all sorts of topics from international business and social etiquette and protocol to everyday life subjects. It will be great to have you as a member of our happy family of subscribers at www.AdvancedEtiquette.com/subscribe.
Happy Practicing!
Popularity: 1% [?]
Tags: bathroom courtesies, bathroom etiquette, bathroom manners, toilet paper manners, toilet seat manners
Posted in Life | 2 Comments »
Thursday, June 23rd, 2011
 With Spring in full bloom and a number of special events upon us—graduations, Father’s Day, weddings, job promotions, retirements, and the like—here are a few tips on how to give and receive a toast..
TOAST-GIVER
Always take time to prepare and write down your toast. Make it fun, brief, and simple. When describing an honoree, speak from the heart sharing a fun and amusing story in your own words, for no longer than one minute. Conclude by inviting everyone to raise their glass and join you in a toast to the honoree.
Never use a piece of flatware and a glass as your way of getting people’s attention. Rather, alert key people in the room ahead of time to help you get their table and area quiet when the time arrives. Say, in a loud projecting voice, “May I have your attention please.” Repeat as needed, continuing to look around the room to get everyone’s attention.
Remember to make good eye contact with the honoree by raising your glass to shoulder height in front of you, and gesturing toward the honoree and others around you, stating, “Cheers!, Here’s to you (and/or his/her name).”
TOAST-RECEIVER
As the honoree:
Always remain seated through the entire toast being proposed to you.
Never raise your glass along with the others when you are being toasted and honored. This makes it appear you are toasting yourself.
Remember you should return a toast of thanks immediately following the one you were given. Whether the toast-giver stood during his/her remarks or remained seated, you must do the same. Do thank the host for hosting the event in your honor; do say a few words about the event for no more than one minute; then conclude by inviting one and all to join you in another round of toasting, by saying, “and thank you one and all for being here.”
Now have fun viewing this You-Tube video on Toasting Etiquette, also at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRoHpPVrUQk. Some times it’s easier to watch and learn than to read.
Bonus Tip: The clinking of glasses is a popular and fun activity. Nevertheless, when toasting an honoree it is not performed. Simply raise your glass to shoulder height in front of you, make good eye contact with the honoree and others, and gently gesture toward the honoree.
Question: What other items do you have to add to this list? Do let us hear from you at www.AdvancedEtiquette.com . If you enjoyed this article and want more, subscribe to our “Etiquette Tip of the Month” newsletter—at no charge—filled with great monthly tips on all sorts of topics from international business and social etiquette and protocol to everyday life subjects. It will be great to have you as a member of our happy family of subscribers at www.AdvancedEtiquette.com/subscribe.
Happy Toasting!
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Tags: giving toasts, receiving toasts, toasting etiquette, toasting practices, toasts
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Friday, June 17th, 2011
 Summer is the most popular vacation season. For many people, a vacation includes spending treasured time visiting friends and relatives around the country and around the world. Employ these simple tips to be an outstanding houseguest and ensure both you and your hosts will enjoy your visit and they will want you back again someday:
1. Bring a “hostess” gift: Even when staying just one night, always present your host with a house gift shortly after your arrival. Good gift ideas include attractively wrapped kitchen tools, a book, candles, a collectible your host will treasure, and specialty food and wine you know they will enjoy. The main criteria should be that it be something your host will appreciate.
2. Make yourself useful: Offer to help with meal preparation, doing dishes and other chores as though you were a member of the household. Do not expect your hosts to wait on you hand and foot throughout your stay. A nice gesture during an extended stay is to treat your hosts to dinner at a nice restaurant or cook them dinner at home one evening.
3. Be flexible about foods and eating times: Except for medical and religious restrictions, avoid dictating meal times and what your hosts serve. If you do have food restrictions, let your hosts know with a simple note prior to your arrival. If you have special food or beverage needs, bring these items with you.
4. Keep your space tidy: Make your bed each day, keep your belongings put away and leave the room or sleeping area in neat order at all times. Because guest spaces are often used by the family for other purposes, leave your door ajar when not in the room, so your hosts know you’re not there and can access the room when necessary.
5. Be diligent in the bathroom: Never leave the bathroom in a mess. Wipe the sink and shower, neatly hang your towels and close the lid on the commode after each use. Review other tips on our blog, especially the “Etiquette Tip of the Month” on Bathroom Etiquette.
6. Ask permission: If you want to use an item in the house, ask if its OK. Leave money for any telephone and other charges (including utilities) you may have incurred during your stay. Be sensitive to whatever guidelines your hosts may have for the use of all items in their home.
7. Share your schedule: While you cannot expect your hosts to entertain you throughout your visit, a good host will feel a sense of responsibility for your well-being, and want to know when to expect you in their home. Provide your hosts your general daily itinerary—primarily when you may be expected to leave and return each day. Carry your host’s home and business address and telephone numbers with you to keep in touch if you will be delayed or in case of emergency. If you have a cell phone, leave the number with your hosts too.
8. Be grateful: And let your hosts know you are. Write a thank you note to your host upon your return home. Reciprocate in-kind whenever possible, by offering to host your hosts for a visit. When you make yourself an outstanding guest, you may often hear, “mi casa es su casa,” my house is your house.
MOST IMPORTANTLY: Leave the space ready for the next guest. The day you leave, strip the bed, place all soiled linens and towels neatly in a pillow case and set the case near the laundry facilities. Re-cover the bed with the bedspread so it will look fresh until the next guest arrives. Finally, check the space to be sure you haven’t left any personal items behind.
What other tips do you have to add to this list? Let us hear from you by entering your comments below. You may also reach us at www.AdvancedEtiquette.com. If you enjoyed this article and want more, subscribe to our “Etiquette Tip of the Month” newsletter—at no charge—filled with great monthly tips on all sorts of topics from international business and social etiquette and protocol to everyday life subjects. It will be great to have you as a member of our happy family of subscribers at www.AdvancedEtiquette.com/subscribe
Happy Practicing!
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Tags: guest etiquette, house guest, staying over
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Wednesday, June 1st, 2011
 Do you have one or more words or phrases you can’t stand? I do. Among them is the word “further” instead of “farther” when talking about distance. Another is common on signs in stores, saying “10 items or less” when it should read, “10 items or fewer.”
But my Number One worst pet peeve is how people constantly use “No problem” as the response to almost everything. It’s become a so trite, clichéd, unoriginal, and commonplace.
I knew I reached a boiling point when I saw this quote by the British author P.G. Woodhouse: “A slight throbbing about the temples told me that this discussion had reached saturation point.” Not only do my temples throb, but my brain screeches every time I hear those two words. And sadly, I hear them all too often. Cashiers say “No problem” after I thank them for the change I receive for my purchase. Waiters say “No problem” when giving me change from the bill I just paid. Front desk attendants say “No problem” after I thank them for giving me my room key.
What was the problem in the first place? What happened to the simple yet powerful phrases of “You’re welcome” and perhaps “My pleasure?”
It’s not just people in the service field who say it. I recently heard it out the mouth of a 6-year-old boy, and worst of all I’ve caught myself saying it. (By the way, if you ever hear me saying “No problem” please feel free to call my attention to it, if I didn’t already do it first.)
In many other languages, the customary reply to “Thank you” is not always a literal translation of “You’re welcome.” In French, for instance, the reply is “De rien,” which means, “It was nothing.” In Spanish, a common response is “De nada,” which means, “It was nothing” as well. In the U.S., Americans even use the slang “No problemo,” a bastardization of the more correct Spanish phrase, “No hay problema,” or “Ningún problema.” Is that where we get it? The more we hear and see the term used – even inn movies — the more correct we think it is.
No matter how you slice it, in American English, to use the phrase “No problem” as the correct response to “thank you” and most other situations is not accurate. In fact, it’s inappropriate, in most instances inaccurate and in some instances rude. The correct response… one more time is “You’re welcome,” or “It’s my pleasure.”
Help Me Stamp out “No Problem”
I’m declaring a personal crusade to stamp out the use of “No problem” in our society. Henceforth, this subject will be a standard item in all my seminars and presentations, as are a few other topics, such as writing thank you notes. If you agree, please join me in a crusade to stamp it out. Here’s all you need to do:
1. Post a comment in the area below to show support of my efforts. I’d love to know I’m not alone.
2. Share your own stories about situations you’ve encountered where you heard the words “No problem” in lieu of what you think would have been a better choice of words.
3. Submit your own commitment to making every effort to eliminate these words from your writing and speech.
4. For parents and teachers: Educate and encourage your children and students on the merits of not using these words.
5. As an employer, share this article as something for your staff members to not use in front of your clients and customers.
If we all reduce the use of these words in lieu of other more appropriate words, over time it will become less and less common and appropriate to say. This is exactly how etiquette comes into effect.
Together we may be able to make a positive change in our society.
Happy Practicing!
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Tags: no problem, saying no problem
Posted in Life | 30 Comments »
Thursday, May 19th, 2011
 Thanks to an abundance of winter (and spring) rains, beautiful flowers are bustin’ out all over. All this color in the garden inspires me to bring blooms inside as well. To complete my two-part series on the saying, April showers bring May flowers, (see the April tip “Umbrella Etiquette”), here are seven tips on the etiquette of flowers:
1. Choose the Right Flower: Various cultures have assigned special meanings and superstitions to specific flowers. Too numerous to list here, find a lovely chart showing the name, meaning, and photos of flowers from A to Z at http://www.couplescompany.com/Features/Flowers/1.htm. Bookmark this site so you will always know the flower with the right meaning to give for every occasion.
A great article “How Well Do You Know Your Floral Etiquette?” by LD Lewis is at http://www.couplescompany.com/Features/Flowers/default.htm. It describes several meanings to various flowers, including a most interesting one, called Shepherd’s Purse, described as “.the ultimate gift to a woman from a man as it says, ‘Everything that I am and everything that I own I give to you.’” Boy! My first reaction was I’ve got to get my husband to give me this flower. However, when I looked it up (under “E” for Everything), I discovered to my surprise it was nothing like what I envisioned to be a beautiful, delicate flower. Believe it or not, it’s a weed!
2. Know Your True Flower Colors: Along with the type of flower itself, choosing the right color is equally important. Flowers such as daisies, carnations, and chrysanthemums, come in many colors. When giving flowers as a gift, be sensitive never to give white flowers in Asia and most other countries, as it symbolizes mournful and unhappy occasions, because white is the color worn and used at funerals. In Asia red symbolizes life and happiness. On the other hand, in Mexican folklore, red flowers cast spells and white flowers lift spells.
3. Give the Correct Number of Flowers: Also consider the number of flowers you give, as what is appropriate varies from place-to-place. In the U.S. a dozen flowers is appropriate and customary. In Europe and elsewhere even numbers are considered inappropriate. Almost everywhere, the number 13 is considered unlucky. In parts of Asia, never give a gift having an association with the number 4 (it sounds similar to the word death). Giving a single flower is generally reserved for lovers.
4. Present Flowers with Panache: In most countries, it is the custom to present a bouquet of flowers unwrapped, to display its full beauty upon presentation. When taking flowers to others (to a party or hospital, for example), giving a bouquet is on my list of gifts to avoid. It is often disruptive to the party host and in many areas of the hospital are not allowed. Here are two alternatives to consider: Bring flowers already displayed in a vase of their own, or arrange for a floral arrangement to be sent ahead. For a party, contact the host/hostess ahead of time and ask for their favorite florist, what colors are best, and if he or she has any preference on the kind of flowers they like. I promise this is one gift everyone will enjoy and remember. Sending flowers a day after a party is a wonderful thank-you gift. Be sure to check with the hospital about their flower policy before bringing or sending flowers.
5. Know that Flowers are Appropriate: Many funeral and memorial service announcements list charity donations in lieu of flowers. It is important to respect the family’s wishes in this regard. It is appropriate to send the family flowers to their home a day after the service as a nice gesture of sympathy.
6. Be an Equal Opportunity Flower Giver: Men enjoy receiving flowers, too. The difference to keep in mind when presenting flowers to men versus women is in what kind of flowers you give, in what colors, and how they are presented. Keep to stronger, dominant colors, such as yellows and oranges. Do keep the wrapping simple, avoiding lots of ribbons, bows, and frills. While in the U.S. it is customary for flowers to be given by couples, by a woman to another woman, and by a man to a woman… with the emergence of equality, it is no longer inappropriate—thank goodness—for a woman to give flowers to a man. I enjoy giving men flowers.
7. Be your own secret admirer: Having a bad day? Celebrating a personal victory? Either way, give yourself some flowers. It is an indulgence that won’t add body weight, affect your ability to drive, or break your bank account. I recommend it.
Bonus: No matter when the urge strikes you to give someone flowers, the one thing to keep in mind is never to steal them from your neighbor’s garden.
What other items do you have to add to this list? Do let us hear from you by entering your comments below. You may also reach us at www.AdvancedEtiquette.com. If you enjoyed this article and want more, subscribe to our “Etiquette Tip of the Month” newsletter—at no charge—filled with great monthly tips on all sorts of topics from international business and social etiquette and protocol to everyday life subjects. It will be great to have you as a member of our happy family of subscribers at www.AdvancedEtiquette.com/subscribe
Happy Practicing!
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Tags: flower etiquette, giving flowers
Posted in Life | 3 Comments »
Sunday, May 1st, 2011
Saying “Thank you” to someone  orally and in writing are among the most powerful two words in all languages. Why not use it more often? There isn’t a person in the world who doesn’t appreciate hearing these words as an expression of appreciation, respect, and courtesy. In fact, I believe that if people were to say it more often to each other, we would all have a better sense of well being.The following is a list of languages showing how to say “Thank you” in various languages. The next time you are interacting with someone who speaks another language or comes from another country, have fun showing your savvy by thanking them in their own language.I am Chinese American of Cantonese ancestry. People either say Dah Jeh (Cantonese) or Shyeh Shyeh (Mandarin) to me, which I really appreciate.So, whether you are at work, at home, or out and about, first develop the habit of saying “Thank you” often, and then how to say it in many languages. I guarantee you will have made a tremendous stride toward becoming better friends. Print out this list and keep it handy at your desk or someplace visible to look up easily when the opportunity arises. I have mine pinned on a board in my office. Also, here’s something to try this next week. Pay attention to the number of times you say thank you in a day and as you go through the week, keep trying to up the number. By the end of just one week you will be on your way toward developing a great habit that will fill you life with great things.
Thank You in Languages from A to Z
- Afrikaans: Dankie
- Albanian: Faleminderit
- Alsatian: Merci
- A’Leamona: Gra al or Gra [pronounced grah or grah ahl]
- Arabic: Shokrun (pronounced Shoe-krahn
- Armenian: Shnorhakalutiun
- Bengali: Dhonnobaad (written in Bengali similar to Hindi)
- Bosnian: Hvala
- Bulgarian: Blagodariya
- Buryat (Mongolian people): Hain daa
- Chinese (Mandarin): Xie Xie (pronouced: shyeh shyeh. Say it fast and keep it short)
- Chinese (Cantonese): Daw Jeh
- Croatian: Hvala
- Czech: Dekuju/Dekujeme
- Danish: Tak
- Dutch: Dank je (pronounced: dannk yuhh) or Bedankt (pronounced: buh dannkt)
- English: Thank You
- Filipino: Salamat
- Finnish: Kiitos (pronounced: KEE-tos. Like “toast” without the last “t”)
- French: Merci
- German: Danke (dahn-kuh)
- Greek: Euxaristo (efhar-ist-oh)
- Hebrew: Todah
- Hindi: Dhanyavad or Shukriya
- Icelandic: Tack Fyrir
- Irish: Go raibh (míle) maith agat [pronounced: gu rev (me-la) mah agh-ut]. It means: (a million) thanks to you.
- Italian: Grazie
- Japanese: Arigatou (informal; pronounced: A-rii-gah-to’) Domo arigato gozaimasu (formal; pronounced: A-rii-gah-to’ goh-zae-mas)
- Khmer (Cambodian): Or Kun
- Korean: Gamsahapnida (pronounced: gam-sa-ham-nee-dah)
- Korean: Gomapsupnida (pronounced: go-mahp-soop-nee-dah)
- Kurdish: Spaas
- Lao: Khopjai
- Lithuanian: Ači
- Malay: Terima Kasih
- Maltese: Grazzi
- Nepali: Dhanyavaad (isn’t said as frequently as a thank you in English)
- Norwegian: Takk
- Persian (Iran): Mamnoon
- Polish: Dziękuję
- Portuguese (Brazil, Portugal, etc): Obrigado [if male] and Obrigada [if female]
- Punjabi: Dhan Waad
- Romanian: Mul umesc (pronounced: mool-too-mesk)
- Russian: Спасибо (pronounced: spa-see-ba)
- Slovak: Dakujem (pronounced: dyock-we-em
- Spanish: Gracias
- Swahili: Asante
- Swedish: Tack
- Tagalog (Filipino): Salamat (po) (sir/madam)
- Tamil: Nandree
- Telugu: Dhanyavaadaalu; Kruthagnathalu
- Thai: Thai: Kop kun krap (if male) Kop kun ka (if female)
- Turkish: Teºekkür ederim
- Urdu: Shokriya (pronounced: shook-ree-ah)
- Vietnamese: Cam On (pronounced: caam-ungh)
- Waloon (Belgian community): Merci
- Welsh: Diolch (mam) Amino (sir)
- West Indian Creole: M si
- Xhosa: Enkosi
- Yiddish: A dank
- Yoruba: O Sheun
- Zulu: Ngiyabonga (literally means : I give thanks)
Here’s another site if you want to view how to say Thank you in more than 465 languages… at http://users.elite.net/runner/jennifers/thankyou.htm
Question of the Month: In what other languages do you know how to say “Thank You.” Share them with our viewers by submitting them to the list in the below area.
Happy Practicing!
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Tags: saying thank you, thank you in many languages
Posted in Life | 4 Comments »
Friday, April 22nd, 2011
 As record-setting rains fell past my window these past months, I was hoping the old saying is true, “April showers, bring May flowers.” Watching a sea of umbrellas pass by has inspired this April tip for the many rainy days still yet to come.
1. Use the right umbrella: Being barely 5 feet 2 inches, can you imagine me walking down the street trying to hold and balance a large golf umbrella? Neither can I! Carry an umbrella that is appropriate for your use and proportionate to your body size. There is no rule saying you can’t own more than one umbrella: a small one for your use alone and a larger version when you are walking together with another person.
2. Avoid umbrella rage: They say it’s a jungle out there on the streets… and rainy days are even worse. Some call it “umbrella rage” as children and adults alike do battle on crowded streets, using their umbrellas as the weapon of choice. Whenever you see another person approaching, tip your umbrella away from the other person to avoid colliding your umbrellas. Be sensitive to how the metal or plastic points sticking out at every fold may poke someone in the body or, worse, in the eye. Rain or shine, utilize just half the width of the sidewalk when walking in a group, so others can easily pass by. Depending on how wide the sidewalk is no more than two or three people should ever walk abreast.
3. Learn the dance of umbrellas: For a taller person, when you encounter another person using an umbrella, raise your umbrella up so a shorter person may pass by without colliding with your umbrella. Likewise, if you are a shorter person, lower your umbrella closer to your head. The end result is a well choreographed “dance of umbrellas” down the street, each umbrella being raised or lowered in graceful motion, avoiding all conflicts, collisions, and pokes in the eye.
4. Keep it closed and dry inside: It is customary to close your umbrella before entering a building. Remove any excess water by gently taping the tip of the umbrella in front of the building a couple of times. The first question upon entering should be where you may place the wet umbrella to avoid further dripping. Make use of the carrying case that came with your umbrella, or the disposable plastic bags that many office buildings and stores provide, to cover your wet umbrella while indoors.
5. Park umbrellas with care: Be mindful of where you place your umbrella. If no umbrella stand is provided, set your umbrella upright with the tip on the floor beside you. In trains, planes, and automobiles, lay it on the floor near your feet, not on an empty seat where other people may sit on it or the puddle it leaves behind. Keep your umbrella away from walkways where someone might trip over it.
6. Carry cautiously: It continues to amaze me how oblivious people are about the physical space they occupy. When not in use, always hold your umbrella vertically, with the pointed end down. Do not tuck it under your arm horizontally with the ends sticking out ready to stab someone.
7. Look both ways before you open: Be mindful of who may be standing nearby when opening your umbrella. Open it with care, noticing whether your umbrella will poke someone.
8. Just enjoy windy days: When the wind is so strong that your umbrella is in jeopardy of being turned inside out, simply forget it. Tilting your umbrella into the wind only obstructs your forward vision and, more times than not, doesn’t help much, anyway. Rather, brave the elements in a good rain coat with a hood. Try to remember that a little water never hurt anyone (except, of course, the Wicked Witch of the West).
BONUS: Prevent Umbrella Loss: Folks at any lost-and-found department will tell you they have hundreds of unclaimed umbrellas in storage. If you forget your umbrella somewhere, you may have a chance of someone returning it if you tape your telephone number and/or email address to the very top of the umbrella’s main strut above the handle, where it will least likely get wet and come loose.
Question: What other items do you have to add to this list? Do let us hear from you by locating this article at www.AdvancedEtiquette.com/blog. You may also reach us at www.AdvancedEtiquette.com. If you enjoyed this article and want more, subscribe to our “Etiquette Tip of the Month” newsletter—at no charge—filled with great monthly tips on all sorts of topics from international business and social etiquette and protocol to everyday life subjects. It will be great to have you as a member of our happy family of subscribers at www.AdvancedEtiquette.com/subscribe.
Although we always need rain, here’s to dryer days when we can enjoy the May flowers.
Happy Practicing!
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Tags: umbrella etiquette, using umbrellas
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Thursday, April 7th, 2011
 As spring approaches, many people get in gear for “spring cleaning.” While physically cleaning your house or office is always a good idea, I suggest you also make time this season for cleaning up your actions and behaviors. Start developing new good habits on etiquette today and by summer you will have changed how you do things and act toward others forever.
“Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your DESTINY.”
—Author Unknown
1. Start today. Studies have shown that you must practice new skills for 21 days to develop a new pattern. It will take about 100 days for a new pattern to become an automatic habit.
2. Choose your changes. Pick two or three etiquette adjustments you want to master during this Spring Cleaning period. If you need ideas, review the past “Etiquette Tip of the Month” articles sent over these past two years or dedicate some time to read one of the hundreds of self-help, personal, or professional development books you’ve collected for years. Make a decision to change an action or behavior, establish a new way of performing a task, or complete something you’ve always meant to do but never quite put into practice.
3. Make a list. Writing down your Spring Cleaning goals will reinforce your decision. Find creative ways to remind yourself of what you’ve pledged to work on for the next three months: Keep the list visible on your desk, on the refrigerator, or on your bulletin board as a constant guide. Write your goals on sticky notes and place the notes on your April and May calendars. Code your computer calendar to remind you of your Spring Cleaning commitments on various days for the next 12 weeks.
4. Do it. Once you’ve identified your Spring Cleaning goals, put new skills into action immediately in order to better your chances of making a permanent change in your behavior. Studies indicate that 66% of a message is forgotten in 24 hours and that it takes 8 days of constant reminding for 99% of a message to be retained in 30 days
5. Think positively. It is easy to slip away from new habits. As Sir Walter Scott said so accurately, “Success or failure is caused more by mental attitude than by mental capacity.” So, please consider this:
“Change your attitude!
When you change your attitude, You change your behavior
When you change your behavior, You change your performance
When you change your performance, You change your life!”
—By Walter Doyle Staples in Performance: Your Guide to Personal & Professional Excellence
6. Make a new model. We all need to eliminate trash lying around. Whether your goal is better managing physical paperwork or wiping out mental “head trash,” Spring Cleaning will clear a path to success. Every etiquette adjustment you make will have a positive impact on your life.
The art of changing yourself requires the substituting of new habits for old. You mold your character and your future by your thoughts and acts. You cannot climb uphill by thinking downhill thoughts. You must change your mind to change your world. Make yourself do what needs to be done. Man alone, of all the creatures of the earth, is the architect of his destiny.
—By Wilferd A. Peterson in The Art of Living
Question: What other items do you have to add to this list? Do let us hear from you in the area below. You may also reach us at www.AdvancedEtiquette.com. If you enjoyed this article and want more, subscribe to our “Etiquette Tip of the Month” newsletter—at no charge—filled with great monthly tips on all sorts of topics from international business and social etiquette and protocol to everyday life subjects. It will be great to have you as a member of our happy family of subscribers at www.AdvancedEtiquette.com/subscribe.
Happy Spring Cleaning!
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Tags: actions speak louder than words, clean up your act, spring clean behavior
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Friday, April 1st, 2011
 In our “hurry up” world to run errands, attend meetings, and get home, we often disregard other drivers and cars when deciding where and how to park. Here are eight of my biggest pet peeves on parking etiquette:
1. Park straight in a parking space. In a parking lot or garage where cars are parked in slots, leave room on each side so you can open your doors without hitting the cars beside you. Park in the middle of a marked parking space. Overhanging the stripes will crowd the driver who parks next to you will inevitably lead to door dings in the paint. If you’re parking on the street, leave room so you and the other cars can exit without bumping.
2. Don’t straddle a line and take up two spaces in a parking lot or garage. Some people with new cars or those who don’t want to risk having their car’s sides banged by adjacent car doors will park in the middle of two spaces. This is not only rude; it also makes it impossible for others to park at all. Crowded garages and lots need every space.
3. Don’t take up two spaces on the street. In residential areas where the parking spaces are limited and not marked, always park as close to the end of an open space as you can. Often there is room for two cars between driveways. If you park in the middle you make it impossible for another car to park in that space. Even if there is not room for two full-size cars, there may be room for a mini car or a motorcycle. Be considerate.
4. Take your turn when waiting for a parking place. In a crowded parking garage or lot, when you see someone pulling out of a space, get as close as you can and turn on your turn signal to let other drivers know you have “dibs” on the space. If another car is close to the space and has its turn signal on already, you lose! The other car gets the space.
If you and another driver both think you found the space first, be generous and let it go. A parking space is not worth a fight. Another spot will be vacant soon.
5. Make your intentions clear when walking in a parking lot. If you’re walking back to your car and you sense a car crawling down the aisle behind you, don’t presume they’re sightseeing. They want your parking space!
If you’re just dropping off your shopping bags and heading back into the mall for lunch, make eye contact and tell the other driver your intentions. If you’re not leaving, shake your head, or say, “I’m not leaving.” I once followed a woman to her car, and watched her put her packages in the trunk and walk away. She knew I was following her and waiting and never said a word.
If you are leaving, make eye contact, then nod and point toward your car. If your car is clear across the lot, communicate this to the other driver by pointing or telling them. Walk directly toward your car. Don’t meander. It’s aggravating to follow a shopper, only to watch her cut across to a different aisle, pull out and let somebody else grab the spot before you can get there.
6. Make sure your car is pulled into the space far enough, but not too far. If you have a normal-size car, pull your vehicle all the way into the space so the rear of your car is in line with other cars. This makes it easier for other drivers to see past your car when they are backing out of adjacent spaces, and also gives the widest possible driving lane between rows. Pulling in properly is particularly helpful when shoppers pushing loaded carts are sharing the driving lane with moving vehicles.
If you have a small compact or sub-compact vehicle, such as a Mini Cooper or Smart car, do NOT pull all the way into the space. Park so that the back end of your car is in line with the cars beside you. This lets drivers know that the space is occupied and does not give the false impression that the parking spot is vacant.
7. Never force your car into a space that’s too small. It bums me out whenever I see a giant SUV parked in a “compact only” space. Standard parking spaces are generally 9 feet wide while compact car spaces are only 7 feet wide and shorter. Obviously, a large SUV or pickup—and especially a Hummer—will not fit easily in a compact car space. Quite simply put, they are not supposed to fit.
8. Watch for pedestrian crosswalks in parking lots. Crosswalks are common near the main entrances and exits of most large garages and lots. Created for the safety of pedestrians coming from and returning to their cars, they are usually marked with diagonal white or yellow stripes and often marked with a pedestrian crossing or stop sign. As much as you are in a hurry to find a spot, slow down. Watch for pedestrians and obey all signs in the parking lot. I’ve witnessed near hits by cars driving too fast and not seeing the pedestrian.
Finally, don’t expect miracles. Even if you are already driving this way, or decide to adopt these courteous practices, don’t expect others to do the same. Be careful of letting your expectations for others’ behavior contribute to your own potential parking lot rage. Take a few deep breaths, and take your time.
Blog Question of the month: Do you agree or disagree with these observations? What pet peeves do you have about car parking we can add to this list. Let us hear from you in the space below.
Happy Practicing!
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Tags: car etiquette, driving etiquette, parking courtesies, parking etiquette, parking manners
Posted in Life | 6 Comments »
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Are you regularly late to appointments? This is perhaps my all time worst pet peeve: people who are constantly late. Sure, we all are late at one time or another, but for the person who is habitually late, it is simply rude, inconsiderate, and selfish, with little or no real excuse for it.
