Spring is upon us, Easter is coming soon, and baseball season is about to begin here in the U.S. It is the time of year many people wear all sorts of hats until winter hats are again needed. Actually, this topic has been on my mind for months, waiting for just the right month to do it, and here it is!
Indoors: So… how can I say this nicely without yelling in all capital letters: No man or woman, young or old, should ever, ever, ever, ever wear a sports hat — especially a baseball cap—indoors. Not in restaurants, in someone’s home, at the dining table, at church, a funeral, in a classroom, in a museum, at a movie or performance theatre… on and on. There is absolutely no purpose to keeping your hat on… not even when you are having a bad hair day or need to cover up a bald spot on your head. It’s all about when it’s proper or not proper to wear a hat. It’s purely out of laziness and a false sense of looking cool and in fashion… not! There is equally nothing cool about wearing your baseball cap backward… again especially indoors.
Except In Public Places: You may wear a hat indoors (yeh… even a baseball cap if you absolutely must) in public buildings, such as airports, public lobbies, and crowded public elevators. However, historically a gentleman will always remove his hat when a lady enters or is in the same elevator. We don’t see this much anymore. When in an apartment building, even though somewhat public, gentlemen will take off their hats while in the company of ladies… another dying art.
[SIDE BAR: A foreign visitor kept seeing Americans wearing their baseball caps indoors, and at times backward. He determined this style indicated a direct correlation to the wearer’s apparent I.Q (intelligence quotient). Wearing a baseball cap indoors meant an I.Q. was reduced by 50%. Wearing the cap backward meant an I.Q. was reduced by another 50%… so what’s left? These findings make total sense to me.]
During a Pledge or National Anthem: Another major peeve of mine is how men and women don’t take off their hats and caps during the playing of a national anthem. Regardless of which country’s anthem is played, hats must come off, period. Parents… please train your kids!
During a Prayer at a Ceremony or Event: Display your respect and take off your hat.
In Places of Worship: Some places of worship require head coverings for both men and women, such as Muslim mosques and Sikh temples. Do your research or ask someone before entering such places of worship. Women should always pack one large scarf and one long skirt when traveling internationally for such a need to cover their heads. I sure needed them in both Mexico and Greece.
At a Church: Historically churches required women to wear hats or scarves. Now, it is not as required. However, some churches encourage women to wear hats, and in some places, it has become quite a lovely display across the entire sanctuary. It is considered disrespectful for men to wear hats in a Christian church.
At a Jewish Synagogue or Temple: Men are required to cover their heads with a “yarmulke,” a small round skullcap, also called a “kippah,” meaning dome or cupola. There is great symbolism and deep meaning behind wearing a yarmulke. Observant men wear theirs during all waking hours, except when bathing and swimming. Doing so bears witness to their faith. It’s a constant reminder of their humility before God and strong belief in something greater than themselves.
How to Take off a Hat: When taking off your hat, hold it so only the outside of the hat shows, not the inside and lining. Hold it in your right hand across your chest and heart, or place it on your seat while standing tall and respectfully.
Exceptions
People in Uniform: People in the military, Boy Scouts, police, and people in other uniformed organizations keep their hats on during “full dress.” Many other interesting regulations about hat-wearing in the military exist, so hat etiquette is a required course in the military.
People with religious and medical requirements. In this instance, people will choose specific head coverings that may be worn anywhere, indoors and out.
Women’s Fashion Hats: Traditionally, women wearing fashion hats are not required to take them off when indoors. That said, unless they are small and tight around the head, they too should be removed when at a dining table. at a theatre, sporting event, or other places where they may hamper someone’s view or be disruptive to others. Large hats are generally for the outdoors, not indoors. Think hat civility!
Question of the month: Have you ever been the subject of or a witness to someone being disrespectful or rude by wearing their hat inappropriately? If so, I’d love to hear from you. Enter your comments and questions below for me to reply.
Happy Practicing!
I am a follower of Christ and as such, I refer to the Bible quite often to see what the Lord thinks on certain issues. Here is what the Bible says about wearing hats:
1 Corinthians 11:4 Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonors his head.
Now before you get all upset, I continued to read and this is what else is said.
1 Corinthians 11:16 But if anyone seems to be contentious, we have no such custom, nor do the churches of God.
I have been one who has been a firm believer in not wearing hats at the table or in church because it was what I was taught. I did not ever ask why. Well, now I will remember what the Bible says and not be offended by someone wearing a hat in church. However, I still will not allow a hat to be worn at my table. 🙂 Have a blessed day everyone!
@Dale – I agree with you 100%!
Furthermore, I find it most rude for people to attempt to point out other people’s bad manners. If someone was that much of an anally retentive corn-whole, I’d have to say good bye to them as a friend and I pity the person they marry… :-/
Welk Dustin good debate. I am not ever near as old as you think just started early when I was lots younger then you I been all over the world and lived all over it too. I will still take may hat off in door as well as my children do. I just went out for dinner and their were on two guys with hats on in the whole place. On 20 to 30 dressed in sport garb and a ball hat the other 40 s with a tank top and a dirty camo cap. The restaurant was a up scale casual. Ps I strongly agree with you comment about Christians and I’m one
I have a mental illness and my hat is like my safety blanket. ask me to remove it, it’s likely you’ll get a swift “bill please” and exit out the door, thus negating from takings and profits a business has from me.
It’s completely irrelevant now a days to follow any rules on hat wearing whats so ever. Rules on hat wearing what the hell were we thinking. Be who you want, wear what you want, do what you want, as long as your courteous and respectful
It’s a preposterous and out dated notion.
Dear Dale: Of course there are always special situations for most things in life. Yet for the average person with no special circumstances, you hit the nail on the head with your comment “as long as you’re courteous and respectful.” This article was simply attempting to share a few tips in this area. Good luck!
I’m sorry but if you’re saying a 30 year old is a kid then you are definitely old. Both my grandparents are centurions as well…. Not sure how your aunt applies to this discussion. I’m sure you’re proud of your 8 year old, but like I said… The hat etiquette is your opinion. In my girlfriends culture women are required to cover everything except their eyes, but she dresses like a regular American because she feels those traditions are dated. Same scenario… Not everyone has the same beliefs… It doesnt mean my girlfriend is disrespectful because she isn’t covering everything… She chooses to be an individual that thinks for herself. Traditions arent always mean to be followed. There sure is a lot of judgmental people on here that seem to elevate themselves as some higher class of people due to the way they dress. Are all the mullahs and Iran a higher class than you because they wear a turbine? Imagine having to take that thing Off everywhere you go… They probably find it disrespectful to remove their hats… Youre about as close minded as the Christians that think Jesus and the lord is the only salvation and anyone that is Muslim or Jewish is going to burn in hell…. You’re debating opinions, not facts.
Well Dustin. Don’t assume that I’m old. But 30 your still just a kid. To my 102 year old aunt lots of people are kids the number is irrelevant
As far as the youth of bad or disrespective behavior you cant blame every thing on your parents If your such an adult then take responsibility for your actions. My kids don’t and will not were a hat other then out doors the 30 year old on and the 8 year old a d they both understand why and not because I said so.
Haha wow dan and James… Since when did this become about the youth?? If the kids are spoiled, guess whois fault it is?? Your generation of parenting. This isn’t about kids… It’s not just kids that don’t believe in a dated tradition.. It’s adults too… I’m a home owner, I have a degree and a good job. I have plenty of respect for all individuals. I just don’t believe in taking off the hat. Plain and simple. Hey, I even put the toilet seat down for the ladies, I help people with their groceries… I sponsor a child in Africa with a monthly contribution, Im well liked among my friends… I don’t have a lack of respect for anyone. I dont even have any racist tendencies… I’m pretty laid back… Im really baffled why people cant see how ridiculous worrying about how someone else wears their clothes is… Hell, if you want to wear a metal bucket over your head with 2 holes cut out of it… Feel free to sit down at my dinner table with me. If you want me to remove my hat in your house, that’s fine with me. But don’t assume I’m disrespecting you because I don’t do it without being asked… There is a lot more disrespectful things than hat wearing…. Actually I get more disrespect from elders, not kids. I can’t tell you how many times some old man talks down on me because I’m 30 and I look 16. Obviously there is a difference of opinion in here. You know this type of custom isn’t right or wrong. Meaning, those of you that believe in it, you aren’t right. You aren’t wrong. You just have different beliefs and not everyone believes in the same things. So put down your old corn cob pipe and walking cane and get with the program.
You go JAMES. THESE KID ARE SPOILED
They nothing of respect and have everything handed to them. And all their talk about THEIR freedom. What have they do for there freedom what have they done for there country. And as far a the 15 year old KID saying America is they greatest country in the world It’s one of them but if you have never lived another. And I don’t mean vist or live there as an Anerican then you can’t really say. Your just repeating the same old bs that ever one is told in school. Everyone from every country that has never been any place else think there home is great. And why not.
But Americans are spoiled to no ends special the youth. James is right. Spare the tod spoil the America youth. SCREW THE TIME OUT. WONDER IF THE MARINES DO TIME OUT. god bless America
James get over it, respect and hats have no relevant connection, I do not base my respect around hats and neither should anyone else, if you are asked to take off your hat at someone’s house and you do not do so then I can see that as disrespectful because you are not respecting someone’s commands in their property, that’s as far as I will go with disrespect and hats. There are many more things in life to worry about other than who is wearing a hat and who isn’t, it’s such a pointless thing to care for, Its a made up rule and it’s strictly frowned upon based on opinion, it’s not disrespectful to all people. These are not some god given rights so I can do what I please with what I wear. Taking it off in school, pointless, church , pointless, anthem, pointless, flag, pointless. There is no real reason to take off my hat Ty will effect anything in any sort of way, the only reason that is given is that it is disrespectful in the eyes of some easily offended knob. If you feel disrespected because of someone’s hat then you have some self esteem issues. Hat natzis are getting old, find something else to care for, maybe starving children in Africa or something. Honestly.
In today’s world everyone shouts I’m an individual so your opinion means nothing to me. I want this and I want that so to hell with you.
I realize the most important person on this earth to many is themselves and rightfully so to some degree however a lack of respect due to being self centered is in trend today so I guess it’s expected.
Sadly showing respect for others and having self respect is also out of trend today. Reading the other posts it is like watching children in a store crying because Mom tells them they can’t have the toy then they pout. Apparently the old fashioned ASS woopin needs a come back too.
I have yet read a reason other than people being self centered why they should not remove there hat. Not 1 good reason. They claim the rules are old, out of date, and no one can pinpoint a reason why they should be used today. The individule with cancer (God bless your sole) more than likely was tought they are special and God knows they are but rules still apply even to someone who is ill.
Here is the best reason I can come up with. RESPECT. What do you gain by removing your hat? RESPECT. What do you get by tipping your hat? RESPECT. OK now. What do you get for showing you are an individual and the rules don’t apply to you? DISRESPECT. What do you get for not tipping your hat? DISRESPECT.
So seriously get your heads out of your individual ass and show some respect and maybe you just might get some in return.
And please parents give your child an ass woopin (not to be confused with a beating) if they need to be taught what respect is.
I can see where people go with these subjects, and it is a ridiculous form of etiquette to go to such lengths to keep a piece of cloth on your head. What’s the big deal?! I can understand that when you’re in the presence of a flag or when you hear the anthem playing you should take off your hat, but seriously? With all these rules about “no hat policies” and other b.s. similar to this, why even have a hat at all? It has nothing to do with fashion or with anything other than how you express yourself, just like any other clothing. Some one will come up to you and snidely say to “take off your hat, it’s disrespectful”, but if somone said the same about a plain t- shirt, they would think differently. In conclusion, we live in a country, the greatest in the world ( sorry Germany!) And we have a right to express ourselves in this country, HOW WE SEE FIT to our standards. Hats are a huge debate in school and at work. Its just a hat. Nothing else. Why make such a fuss over a piece of cloth? Because you can’t see our eyes? I agree with carbie and with michael also on this point.
Hello,
Yes to your question, there is person my knowing who enjoys wearing his hats or caps at the dinner table, especially during winter months. It is uneasy telling the individual not to do this in his own house he owns. But what you can you do about it?
He does have a right to wear a hat in his own dwelling even if the practice irritates the consciousnesses of others. But if it is my home this would be a different story. What an difference when people display regard for the feelings of others even if their freedoms allow them otherwise.
I appreciate your article above, it is very informative, practical.
I recently attended a funeral where the friend of the family gave 95% of the eulogy, and the entire time wore a black hat. It was distracting and pretty strange although otherwise she was dressed appropriately. I didn’t really care what she wore, but I was curious – was this just a fashion statement at funeral? I haven’t been able to find anything about black hats at funerals and proper etiquette, does anyone know? Oh – and for the record, there should be dress guidelines for funerals, I do know that much, so spare comments like “what’s the difference?”
Dear A. Carrington: Thank you for writing. For women wearing a hat (even a black one) is considered appropriate as part of the woman’s overall attire… even at funerals. Historically certain churches required women to have head covering, including a hat, scarf, or veil of sorts. The dress guidelines for funerals will differ depending on the culture of the funeral. Most western cultures black is appropriate, although Asian cultures it is white. There are dress guidelines, yet in current times—as you have seen, I’m sure—many people do not follow them. I appreciate your interest in being properly dressed for various occasions.
I also came here to find out why this is hat wearing indoors thing came to be. What may be a act of politeness to one person, may offend someone else. I do not try to offend anyone on purpose, but if I do I’m sorry. I am a caring person, but those of you I do not know, I will probably never see you again, or never remember you. If you should remember me because of a silly baseball cap, worn inside a building, even backwards. That is up to you. If you thing I”m stupid, dumb, or have a low IQ, that is up to you also. What I have to say is— look the other way my friend! You may not know what is happening to that person right then. They may be busy with lifes real issues. Life is too short to be upset about someone you do not know. Worry about what you have on your own plate, not someone else’s plate. Please concentrate on your own plate, and try to figure out how you shall eat those brussel sprouts without making a nasty face, just to appear polite.
I think it is a nice tradition, but it should be judged on a person to person basis. If someone has a disease such a lukemia or is under going chemotherapy, who are we to ask them to take their hat off? If you want to be a gentleman: do it. If not, than don’t. It is equally rude to tell someone that you think they are being rude don’t you think?
Manners and politeness can be taught to a dog but some do not have the capacity to learn. Most dogs will not crap in the front room if they are taught manners and politeness. Most dogs do not wear a hat but the principal applies. You will believe what you are taught usually. Maybe it is time to think about the purpose of a baseball cap. Why was it invented? Duh. Grow up. Do not appear stupid to other people and wear your cap correctly unless your intelligent quotient is below normal. Use your library to determine what is normal intelligence. Thank you!
Thank you for writing this!!! People who wear their hat inside, at ANY time, upset me very much. I believe that there is no reason for wearing a hat inside, no matter where you are!
To Dustin, this post is not necessarily telling you how to dress but it is pointing out that there is etiquette involved when wearing at hat. Let me say, congratulations on beating your cancer. I understand where you are coming from with the hat covering your lost hair. My son was 4 when he was diagnosed with Leukemia. He did three years of chemotherapy and lost his hair 4 times. He wore hats daily and still does because he is a fair skinned red head! All that said, my son, now 11 years old, knows hat etiquette and removes his every time he enters a building. He removes his hat for the National Anthem, he removes it to say hello to every teacher he passes at school, etc.
Society as become lackadaisical in regards to manners. Manners are a lost art and it is disheartening to think that our children are growing up in an ill-mannered society!
In your side bar, you mentioned that a person who wears a hat appears to have a lower IQ. Fine, I don’t agree, but I can accept that. However, you then go on to say:
“Wearing a baseball cap indoors meant an I.Q. was reduced by 50%. Wearing the cap backwards meant an I.Q. was reduced by another 50%… so what’s left?”
The way it’s written implies that that the answer you’re looking for is 0. However, when you reduce something by 50% twice, you are left with 25%, which given a very high starting IQ, could still be significant. This is a pretty common and minor mistake to make unless of course you’re trying to insult someone’s intelligence. But hey, I wear my hat backwards, so what do I know…?
Dear Chris: Thank you for writing. Your post is discussing a story I once heard and was conveyed from a perspective of simply being an amusing joke.
I was interested to see this discussion on women’s fashion hats. I think it’s completely fine to wear a women’s hat indoors, unless of course it is obstructing the view of those around her. however, in public i think they are lovely and should be worn respectfully so everyone she’s speaking to can see her eyes entirely! i’ve seen some wonderful new hats for sale.
I am a historian. Soldiers removed their helmets in days gone by to show they trusted the host. It is customary to take your hat off if the flag passes by or if you are in a church or synagogue to show respect. Men used to remove their hats to show respect for women.. an “I take my hat off to you” sort of thing.. Grant you, the way some women act these days, they don’t deserve respect. However i’m a lady whether you are a gentleman or not. If you don’t take your hat off in my house I will ask you to do so. You don’t get to eat at my table with a dirty baseball cap on your head any more than you get to come to the table with dirty hands. I grew up with all brothers, had all sons, raised my grandsons when their father died. None of them ever wore a hat in the house. I care about my guests comfort, but it’s a two way street. If I respect them, they should respect me. It’s a matter of not accepting someone crossing my boundary…the lowest common denominator prevails today because everyone stays silent about what is acceptable. One of the great problems with the world is the sense of entitlement some people feel. If a given custom is something they don’t want to follow, they call it pretentious or make fun of that custom. I did not check the notify box so now have at it as I won’t answer what you have to say. Question asked and answered so those who think politeness is silly might just think about another perspective. Dustin is not incorrect, just well-bred.
i will wear my hat where ever and when ever i feel pleased, isnt this america? freedom of expression? you sound like hitler and stalin mixed together, dont like it? move to another country
Yes this America and supposably you can express your self and wear your hat wherever you want , and I don’t have to wash my hands after leaving the bathroom and before making your big Mac .
The fact that you are even discussing this is so-o-o-o-o-o stupid. Wear a hat…..don’t wear a hat…….what’s the big deal? Get a life people!!
Exactly!
Eric and Michael, great points… I was starting to feel out numbered in here. I’m glad there is some logical thinking going on aside from “it’s what you’re supposed to do just because.”. You are right about it seeming pretentious.
I believe it has to do with meeting strangers in low light situations that would be encountered indoors mostly before the advent of proper lighting. One is unable to see the individual properly in such low light and it was probably seen as rude. The
tradition has kept going even though it makes no sense anymore. This is my thoughts on the topic.
Interesting topic.
A common opinion I happen upon in this conflict is that it is a sign of pretentiousness, douche-e-ness, low education, barbary etc. I find this comedic. Based on the responses I’ve seen in several blogs about this topic, I feel as if most people who would actually assume these things about a person based on whether or not an object rests upon another person’s head is actually acting presumptuous and pretentious. Especially when they decide to attack the act of wearing a cap backwards as well.
On insulting the conditions of the place: If your building is blasting the A/C or not using sufficient heat, I will be hatted and jacketed if necessary. If you feel that your guest is acting as though your indoors is too cold, perhaps you screwed up and should do something about it. My fingers should not have to turn blue/purple just so I can pretend that I am comfortable. Choice: offend people or endure numb fingers? I choose the former.
On appearing unintelligent: Really? You can determine the intelligence of an individual because they have an object on their head while inside a larger object? Oddly, as I’ve gotten to know people, I’ve personally never found that trend true when it comes to students. I’ve tutored emmaculately polite and proper and more improper students that were dumb as bricks. On the other hand, I’ve known proper students who ace the class and improper students who ace the class. What I see more often is that the ‘professional’ A-students memorize everything and know everything they they’ve been taught, but they cannot for the life of them synthesize an organic answer unless they have directly heard or read the answer at some point. Perhaps proper people are simply very good at regurgetating information and obeying rules. Perhaps disregarding an irrational rule that is meant to trick people into believing an individual is intelligent is actually a sign of a critical thinker. But, we cannot really make that assumption based on my personal experience.
Practicality: Nope. I do not expect rain inside, and I doubt others do either. We like our hats. I am two weeks away from Ph.D. candidacy, which I am being paid 30k/year to do at a research institute. I wear my hat because I like it, it comforts my insecurities, it reminds me of who I really am, and because I am certain some people think I look like some ‘dumb’ farm-boy.
Sidenotes: I actually am quite traditionally polite on fronts where it actually matters: I just really hate it when people use some arbitrary and meaningless rule to fuel their delusions of superiority. Although, my reasons for wearing my hat make me feel superior to the “hat-nazis” so to say. Rules like these are comforting and connvenient because allows a person to quickly size a person up. If you outlaw hats, only outlaws will where hats. So, who cares.
A majority of a person’s body heat dissapates from the head. Go green. 🙂
Your side bar really makes me laugh too, some foreigner thinks that wearing a hat reflects your intelligence negatively and then wearing it backwards decreases it even more and you agree. It may be time you and that foreigner questions your own intelligence. If Albert Einstein was seen wearing a hat backward by this foreigner (lets assume he didn’t know who he was) then by his theory, it would give Einstein and IQ of 0%. Id say this is extremely accurate. There are some serious anti intellects in this world and guess what, having hat etiquette has nothing to do with it. Surprise.
People like you really need to be shipped to the insane asylum. I think its time we evolve ideas here folks. Please explain to me what is so special about removing your hat? hats now a days are used for style, not just for keeping the sun out of your face. I never understood why wearing a hat is seen as disrespectful, I respect my mother just the same as when I wear a hat and when I don’t wear a hat, there is no change once the hat is placed on my head indoors. there is no magic behind the uncovered head. Unless your hat is a large ridiculous top hat with bunny ears coming out of it. when eating at my house people say its rude that I wear my hat, I don’t see the problem, people wear hairnets to keep hair from falling in there food, couldn’t my had be feasibly used for the same purpose? and even if it wasn’t, who really cares, my hat isn’t doing anything to the food or the people. its like you just say wearing your hat is rude because that;s the thing to say and you’ve never really questioned why. To address the taking off your hat in presence of a lady… even in the 1920s that was still stupid. like i said before, respect has nothing to do with wearing a piece of fabric on your head what so ever, respect is something from inside and it is also earned. in terms of taking your hat off in church to honor the presence of God… i was told that God is everywhere and always with us by priests , teachers, family members. If this is the case.. why even own a hat? this is all just a bunch of bullshit that people made up to sound posh and proper, as if God really worries about the amount of people who don’t take their hats off, I think you would agree that there are much worse things for God to worry about in this world.
@Katerine+
Hi again All. This is my second time posting on this topic. I first came here to find out why it was improper to wear a hat. That’s it. I was hoping with Katherine’s point list and mentioning your husband being a LT. that some of the points would actually list why it is rude.
Tell your husband, by the way, thanks for his service and yours too. People like you two keep us free in America.
I know a lot of people have gotten all uptight on this topic. I myself only want to know if the only reason it was tradition, then why? All traditions start from a specific reason.
I wear a dress hat inside, even when i eat (depending on the restaurant i am in) I probably, however, would not wear a baseball hat which can be quite dirty. A hat is actually part of my uniform at work and i work inside. It is not mandatory, i just enjoy wearing a hat and it is an accessory to me. I never wear my hats when my head is dirty and i don’t just set them down anywhere. My hat is like my watch. Part of my dress. In fact as my watch goes, even though i wear i use my cellphone for the time mostly. Its part of my dress.
I would, however, take it off if i knew it offended people because that is not what I am about. (That has only happened to me once, a lady asked me to take it off, i was a guest) Its like drinking alcohol, I will have an occasional drink unless I am among someone who has or had a problem with it. I don’t need it that bad to offend someone.
So please, if someone is a great historian, can you find out the answer to why, should a man take of a hat indoors. If the answer is a respected answer than the problem here is not disrespect, but teaching our kids from generation to generation. Which is why i feel the tradition has obviously been forgotten by the majority so it not that important to really practice.
Thanks for all comments and I’ll keep reading.
Im not generally ill-mannered orl disrespectful to anyone. At my office and around my family I’m regarded as geneally optimistic person that is independent and hard working. This forum just makes me angry because I feel like I’ve reached another level of civilized and you guys just don’t get it. You’re sitting back thinking “I” just don’t get it. I noticed people in Europe are way more strict about the hat ettiquite when I travel there. Its really simple. I find it to be a tradition developed for helmets over 500 years ago. There is no logical reason to go on doing it. “just because you’re suppose to” isn’t good enough for me. I honestly rarely even wear hats. My feelings for hat etiquette probably stem all the way back when I was 10 years old with t-cell leukemia and people would ask me to take my hat off. It was the only thing holding all my hair from falling on people around me. I strongly strongly believe that it’s a dated tradition. I also believe it shows more self importance to be offended by someone wearing a hat inside. How dare you tell someone else how to dress ? I understand not wearing distracting clothes in the office. Or having to look nice and professional for a client. But if I walk in a friends house i wouldn’t want them to be offended I didn’t remove my baseball cap. Does it mean I’m leaving soon? Hell no. That’s a wild assumption. Do I wear a hat for the functional purpose of being outdoors and protecting my head? Only when I wear a tobagin. When I wear a cap Its because it makes ME more comfortable. It’s more disturbing to me you’re more concerned with your own comfort than your guests. I’ll quit posting on here but the bottom line is no matter how correct you guys think you are… I disagree.
@ Dustin
Let me preface this by stating that I am still quite young, but I find boorish if a man does not remove his hat when indoors. My husband is a Naval lieutenant, and every officer and enlisted person is taught to remove their hats when entering a building.
Why is it rude?
1) A hat is for the outdoors. Its intention is to protect the wearer’s head from the elements. Unless you expect snow, heavy rain or a flock of birds that may shower you in droppings why do you need to protect your head indoors? Are you afraid that the ceiling might collapse? Trust me, your hat won’t protect you — unless it’s Kevlar-lined!!!
2) Do you also leave your jacket/coat and gloves on? Not removing your hat looks like you don’t intend to stay and spend time in a specific location.
Can you do whatever you please? Certainly. However, I can also decide that you are an ill-mannered person.
P.S. What does cooking, cleaning and staying at home have to do with removing a hat when indoors? You are comparing apples and chickens — in other words, two completely unrelated topics.
Heheh perhaps I should have braved the comments first ;). Anyway, I personally (and the women I mentioned previously) consider “fashion hats” to be ladies’ hats, and fedoras (unless altered a LOT)/baseball caps/etc. to be men’s hats, even if they’ve been made for women to wear casually like modern hats are. It’s easier to keep track of the etiquette that way! Perhaps a note of that in the post would help with confusion?
You *say* a lady should remove her hat for the national anthem, but the problem with that is if she’s wearing a woman’s hat or a man’s hat. In the case of myself and several women I know, we all wear vintage mid-century women’s hats. Those are pinned in place, with our hair styled around them in the majority of cases. The best etiquette in those cases to leave your hat on. It’s an accessory. No one would remove their pantyhose in public! A lady shouldn’t remove her hat as well.
If she’s wearing a man’s hat, however, then she should follow the rules that men follow (except the doffing in the presence of a lady type bits).
This is all, of course, according to etiquette and fashion books from the 40’s and 50’s that I’ve read so that I can be sure that I’m not embarrassing myself when I’m dressed in a vintage outfit.
@Dustin
I find your posts very confusing. I don’t understand why you would even participate in this blog at all if you have such disdain for the customary etiquette of “hat wearing”. I am not sure why a church or a “fine dining” restaurant hold exception for your rule of wearing a hat either. I am not old, I work 50 hours a week, have helped raise 20 year old twin sons, and have come home countless nights to help take care of the home. When I see a male wearing a hat inside a home, church, or during prayer or anthem at a public event, I assume the male is either lazy, ignorant, or both. It seems to easy for many to hold tradition in disdain, but that is how we, as a society of civilized humans, govern ourselves since the beginning of time. It is, of course, your choice whether or not to participate. Personally, I don’t think you intelligence is in question. I do, however, observe a high level of self importance and general lack of respect for others.
@Zeus: Well im glad your so proud of yourself and your sons but you didn’t answer my question.
@ Dustin.
Ok. YOU wear your hat inside. My sons won’t.
Why is it a sign of respect ? And to who? Your comment makes it out like it’s only to respect women. Opening a car door has nothing to do with wearing a hat. If you told me spinning in 3 circles and tapping my head was a age-old tradition that Shows respect I wouldn’t do that either. That’s exactly how ridiculous taking off an article of clothing sounds to me.
Why not stop holding car doors open for women? Or when approaching a door, not allow a woman to proceed before you after holding it open? All a sign of respect. Years ago, I thought I’d test out wearing my cap in a restaurant.
My wife asked me to take it off, I said I want to wear it, knowing I’ve never done it before. Sure enough, the maitre’d comes over and politely requests I take it off. Sheepish me, for knowing better, and having my wife say I told you so. The same one (in my above thread) who didn’t back me when reproaching our son.
Grants question is exactly what I’m talking about. Why should anyone find a hat as a sign of disrespect ? It’s a dated tradition. At least taking your shoes off keeps the carpet clean. I can understand why Asian cultures do that. Here is an article talking about it. http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2011/03/why-we-are-supposed-to-take-our-hats-off-for-the-national-anthem
Granted we live in different times, but respect remains constant. To this end, I find it VERY rude when a man or a young male does NOT take of his hat while in my presence or in a church. You have to teach our young men what respect entails. It’s daunting how disrespectful some men and young men can be. What’s worse is the fact that we are allowing our women to accept disrespect as a sense of normalcy. I’m a social worker, a mother, a wife and a daughter. I believe in respecting myself, my husband, my children, my parents and you! My son knows to take off his hat, he knows to open the door for a woman, he knows how to pull out the chair for a woman, he knows how to put on and take off a woman’s coat. He knows to help his 84 year old Grandmother. This all comes from my Grandparents!!! The world is very diverse. We should all know what cultural diversity entails.
I found this site after telling my 15 yo about taking his hat off. He’d gone to a New Years party. When I saw him the next day, I inquired as to whether he takes his hat off when he enters someone’s home.
He said sometimes. I explained it’s gentlemenly behavior to take one’s hat off.
My wife would take me to task for not always holding a car door open for her (perhaps another thread), yet, she didn’t back me when requiring him to remove his hat.
Since we’re no longer together, perhaps this is why she doesn’t feel compelled to be in agreement.
Also no military branch will slow you to wheat a hat inside. It’s called discipline. Hat wear invented for bad weather not a indoor fashion statement or trend. Most men and guys where hats inside because their to lazy to groom their hair or ashamed that they might not have any.
Most Americans have no idea what manners or etiquette is. That’s why Europeans and other nations see us as rude and in mature culture.
Dustin,
There is no excuse for ungentlemanly conduct, unless you are not interested in being a gentleman!
Exceptional people think and act exceptionally and thus move ahead in life.
Best of luck,
-Rich
I don’t See how being traditional has anything to do with intelligence. I will continue to wear hats inside aside from churches and really fine dining restaurants. I’m sure people find it a childish mentality that I would be apathetic about other people’s valued traditions but quite frankly I find it a silly tradition. I have a right to disagree so I do.
Syndi I appreciate your comments. Thanks for your input and response. I agree with you.
@ Will, I agree with you. Respect does come first. In fact, if an older person asks me to take a hat off, out of respect to them I will do so even if i don’t understand why.
@Syndi attempting to acquire the proper etiquette is why i even searched and found this blog. Tradition is ok and etiquette is great but both tradition and etiquette has some basis of a beginning. As i read in an earlier post, taking a hat off started back in medieval times well, I don’t live in those times any more.
I read in one post that hats are dirty and to wear at a table means dirt and crusty stuff getting in food. Then we shouldn’t wear coats at a table. I guarantee my hat is more clean than my coat. In fact, i never wear my hat unless i have just taken a shower. It is an accessory to me. Just like a watch; talking about dirty.
I was simply seeking out the WHY it is offensive and I can’t seem to get an answer other than, because society deemed it so a long time ago now there.
Well in that case, society needs to deem wearing jeans past your butt as inappropriate.
Hat Etiquette Rant…
@Brent Nelsen – I’m with you, in general. It is rude to force others to conform to their opinion of what is and is not acceptable for no known reason! To voice that opinion is even more offensive, IMO.
At a table, a hat keeps hair from falling on food. That is a good thing! Who wants hair in their food? Probably nobody… :-/
On the other hand, I can see a few good examples…
1) Anyone sitting in a public auditorium with rows could block the view of the person behind them if they had a medium to large hat. A baseball cap would hardly block anyone’s view. It might make the view better, actually. If they are on the back row, who cares?
2) In a classroom, court room or other places where respect and order is required, it says, “This is my house. I am in charge. You’ll do things my way or else.” Then I can see taking the hat off.
3) Any place of high or mid protocol in a fancy dress setting can require everyone to be uniform and in unison. It is agreed upon prior to entering.
4) One wouldn’t normally go to a Florida Gators party with a Miami Hurricanes hat on. It might get your butt kicked… LOL
5) If the hat was smelly or very beaten and dirty, some may take offense.
Now i appreciate your time on this post.
However, when you mention it is inappropriate to wear a hat in certain situations it all falls back on tradition. If i choose not to accept your tradition, how does that make it inappropriate?
What i was hoping to find out here is why is it inappropriate? What makes it offensive to wear a news boy hat at the table? I think its offensive when someone wears too much perfume and it gives me a headache. I am not going to go over to that person and tell them to go wash up and take that smell off.
Why is it appropriate for a woman to wear a hat in church but not a man?
WHY IS IT OFFENSIVE?
Dear Brent: I had to take a moment to address your comments which I appreciate your time to write. It shows are you most eager to find an answer by which you can live.
1. At its core, you are correct about what is deemed appropriate, or not, is something every person has the right to choose what to do… no different than the right to choose to kill someone, or not… and everything else in life. The key to what separates the choices is an intelligence and understanding about how any action will ultimately affect yourself and others… and in the deepest and broadest terms.
2. Every action we take ultimately either helps build or not build a better life for yourself and everyone around you. I have begun to study and learn how etiquette is something that greatly affects a person’s “xi or chi” (energy force) which is at the center of all life. How you behave affects yourself and others as a “quality of life” issue.
3. Easiest way for me to explain the why of things stems from your first thinking about what was the original purpose and why was something invented? With regards to hats, most hats were first invented to be worn outdoors, including women’s hats. As a result cultures throughout the world and through time—which I agree—deemed it inappropriate to wear a hat indoors. It’s only in modern times, as people take more liberties to “do their own thing” traditions are lost.
4. You are correct that in some situations you would not approach the offender about their lack of considerations, yet because of that person’s actions it had left you with a poor impression of that person in not being more sensitive, considerate, and respectful of others around… including you.
5. Historically women’s hats were invented to be a fashion statement with some intended for indoor wearing, as well. They are a part of a woman’s overall outfit… like jewelry. For men, no one to my knowledge has invented specific “mainstream” hats for men to be worn indoors as a new trend. Maybe this is an idea for you??? Thus, for men it is still deemed inappropriate to wear outdoor hats indoors, no matter how cold your head is.
6. Another way to look at this is a good part of what makes things inappropriate and offensive—or not— starts with logic and common courtesies, then popularized through society as more and more people adhere to the same courtesies a sign of being “in the know,” and displaying your respect and consideration.
7. Bottom-line: In today’s ever increasing diverse world… “It’s not about what you do, but how and when you do it.” Even I wear hats indoors… albeit only in certain places.
Happy Practicing!
How utterly lame! I just don’t get WHY! Maybe somebody here knows something I don’t. Help me out here, please…
I just got grilled by 3 insensitive people who verbally attacked me for wearing a small fedora dress hat indoors. They publicly informed me of how rude I was being to them all as if to say FU to them. Realy! Those were their words…
It is below 40 degrees in Florida and yes, I am cold indoors. I’m not trying to look cool. I’m not trying to disrespect a single person ever. I’m one of the more considerate people I know. I take great pride in opening doors for women, kids and even men, at times. I am frequently asking others if I can do something to make them more comfortable like a drink, snack, etc.
So social etiquette typically stems from something of significance. We shake with our right hand because that was our sword hand and it says “Hi. Come close and be friends. Let’s not stab one another.” Also, men walk on the closest side to a street to protect a woman from being splashed by a mud puddle from a cart and buggie. Protecting her, really. Another is men open doors for women because they spend more time looking good and were to be proudly shown off and as a sign of kindness.
But this hat thing?!? How does it apply? Maybe someone says “Come in and make yourself comfortable.” If you leave your hat on, it may appear as if you are ready to leave at any moment making others feel uncomfortable like standing while others are seated. So “Make yourself comfortable” is an order and someone is dictating what is and is not comfortable?!? What if my hat makes me feel more comfortable? What if I am bald, or have psoriasis, bad hair day, am cold, bad hair cut, mohawk, multi-colored hair, chemotherapy, tattoed bald head, etc?
I get it in a classroom setting or a formal gathering, but in general I just do not get this and I am so glad this is aged and dying…
Isn’t it really rude to dictate to someone else how they should and should not be comfortable?
Dear Will: Thank you for taking the time to write. You are not alone in not understanding why it is inappropriate for men to wear hats indoors.
Regrettably, a fedora hat was first invented to be worn outdoors. It was never intended to be worn indoors. It’s only in modern times certain groups of individuals have tried to turn a fedora into a fashion statement, wearing it indoors… yet this still does not mean it is appropriate.
Overall, as explained in another post, regrettably there are no mainstream men’s hats—to my knowledge—that were invented to be worn indoors. And as to the why of it, it’s because in most cases—aside from ignorance—many men don’t remove their hats out of laziness. They don’t like having to remember not lo leave it someplace.
Sure there are exceptions to the rule. A previous post was from a man who does suffer from a medical condition requiring him to wear hats at all times. For him he went to a milliner and had the person fashion him several nice and decorative head coverings/caps to be worn indoors. There are many cultures where men do wear decorative hats indoors… East Indians being one of them.
It’s all about acquiring the intelligence in knowing when, how and why to do things. Yes, etiquette does stem from some significance. It stems from enduring traditions that are established over time to display the best consideration, respect, and honesty about the various aspects in life. It’s now up to you to gain the deeper knowledge and intelligence about wearing a hat indoors and perhaps other etiquette situations.
As I keep saying, “It’s not about what you do, but when and how you do it” that is the difference in today’s society. It is clear you have gained some intelligence, given you know not to wear a hat in certain situations, now just add this and perhaps a few other situations to your list of when “not” to wear a hat. Happy Practicing!
I have an IQ of 184 and wear a cap backwads.
You people are such zombies, wear what everyone else is wearing. The Nazis did that as well!!
Good grief, most guys just wear caps because they are going bald, leave them be, they have enough to worry about!
Oh, good grief. Don’t confuse clothing with courtesy. The hat protocol originated back in the days when noble men wore helmets, and it made some sense to remove one’s (combat) helmet when in the presence of a superior or lady or safe spot indoors (except when under arms). It’s been centuries since that protocol made any sense, unless we’re talking football helmets! Folks who insist on adhering to a centuries-old protocol that they don’t even understand are the ones who need an IQ downgrade.
Wearing certain types of headgear indoors has always been common practice. Monks and religious in Christian Churches, students and faculty at graduations, chefs and food service workers, artisans, westerners, people from various religious and cultural traditions, on and on. The modern baseball cap ceased to be a sports hat generations ago, and now is generally considered casual wear and is appropriate indoors or out any time casual wear is appropriate.
I confess when I see men or women remove a hat they’ve had on for most of the day, I’d much prefer they kept it on rather than look at their matted, sweaty hair.