Spring is upon us, Easter is coming soon, and baseball season is about to begin here in the U.S. It is the time of year many people wear all sorts of hats until winter hats are again needed. Actually, this topic has been on my mind for months, waiting for just the right month to do it, and here it is!
Indoors: So… how can I say this nicely without yelling in all capital letters: No man or woman, young or old, should ever, ever, ever, ever wear a sports hat — especially a baseball cap—indoors. Not in restaurants, in someone’s home, at the dining table, at church, a funeral, in a classroom, in a museum, at a movie or performance theatre… on and on. There is absolutely no purpose to keeping your hat on… not even when you are having a bad hair day or need to cover up a bald spot on your head. It’s all about when it’s proper or not proper to wear a hat. It’s purely out of laziness and a false sense of looking cool and in fashion… not! There is equally nothing cool about wearing your baseball cap backward… again especially indoors.
Except In Public Places: You may wear a hat indoors (yeh… even a baseball cap if you absolutely must) in public buildings, such as airports, public lobbies, and crowded public elevators. However, historically a gentleman will always remove his hat when a lady enters or is in the same elevator. We don’t see this much anymore. When in an apartment building, even though somewhat public, gentlemen will take off their hats while in the company of ladies… another dying art.
[SIDE BAR: A foreign visitor kept seeing Americans wearing their baseball caps indoors, and at times backward. He determined this style indicated a direct correlation to the wearer’s apparent I.Q (intelligence quotient). Wearing a baseball cap indoors meant an I.Q. was reduced by 50%. Wearing the cap backward meant an I.Q. was reduced by another 50%… so what’s left? These findings make total sense to me.]
During a Pledge or National Anthem: Another major peeve of mine is how men and women don’t take off their hats and caps during the playing of a national anthem. Regardless of which country’s anthem is played, hats must come off, period. Parents… please train your kids!
During a Prayer at a Ceremony or Event: Display your respect and take off your hat.
In Places of Worship: Some places of worship require head coverings for both men and women, such as Muslim mosques and Sikh temples. Do your research or ask someone before entering such places of worship. Women should always pack one large scarf and one long skirt when traveling internationally for such a need to cover their heads. I sure needed them in both Mexico and Greece.
At a Church: Historically churches required women to wear hats or scarves. Now, it is not as required. However, some churches encourage women to wear hats, and in some places, it has become quite a lovely display across the entire sanctuary. It is considered disrespectful for men to wear hats in a Christian church.
At a Jewish Synagogue or Temple: Men are required to cover their heads with a “yarmulke,” a small round skullcap, also called a “kippah,” meaning dome or cupola. There is great symbolism and deep meaning behind wearing a yarmulke. Observant men wear theirs during all waking hours, except when bathing and swimming. Doing so bears witness to their faith. It’s a constant reminder of their humility before God and strong belief in something greater than themselves.
How to Take off a Hat: When taking off your hat, hold it so only the outside of the hat shows, not the inside and lining. Hold it in your right hand across your chest and heart, or place it on your seat while standing tall and respectfully.
Exceptions
People in Uniform: People in the military, Boy Scouts, police, and people in other uniformed organizations keep their hats on during “full dress.” Many other interesting regulations about hat-wearing in the military exist, so hat etiquette is a required course in the military.
People with religious and medical requirements. In this instance, people will choose specific head coverings that may be worn anywhere, indoors and out.
Women’s Fashion Hats: Traditionally, women wearing fashion hats are not required to take them off when indoors. That said, unless they are small and tight around the head, they too should be removed when at a dining table. at a theatre, sporting event, or other places where they may hamper someone’s view or be disruptive to others. Large hats are generally for the outdoors, not indoors. Think hat civility!
Question of the month: Have you ever been the subject of or a witness to someone being disrespectful or rude by wearing their hat inappropriately? If so, I’d love to hear from you. Enter your comments and questions below for me to reply.
Happy Practicing!
I have a question regarding hats indoors. Am I allowed to put my hat on when I am on my way out of or into a buildIng? I work in an office building, so I am curious, do I need to remove the hat the moment I enter work, and may only put it back on again when I leave the building? Or may I remove it when I get to my cube (I always remove it before sitting down to work) and may I put it on again when I am leaving?
Mike: Men both took off their hats upon entering the actual office in which they worked and in some instances only took them off when they reached their actual office/cubicle. It’s fine to leave your hat on when in the public lobby area. My thinking is you can do either as you choose; however, a gentleman will always take off his hat if he ever stopped to speak to someone on route to his cubicle.
I love my hat, I will wear it indoors if I please. Who made you the Hat God?
James,
You sound like a gentleman, which is unfortunately a rarity these days.
Yours sincerely,
Katherine
Syndi Seid: I really appreciate your responses to both of my post.
You sound like someone I would not mind talking to on any subject.
I will take all you said in to consideration and with an open mind.
If anyone comes to me correctly with respect, I am man enough to apologize
and recognize if I am in the wrong or need to do something the correct way.
Thanks again,
James
For the record, I wear a hat because most of my hair has left. It is a common trait in my family; sucks! I apologize if it offends you, but it’s the way it has to be.
ANYbody that gives even the TINIEST fragment of a fresh turd about “public hat wearing” should be euthanized. I am shocked and appalled at the comments that you high-horse riding, cap-shaming freaks “shared”. I don’t even wear hats…I just could not FATHOM caring if someone does/did!!? Reading these made me want to race to the local “dealer” and pick up at least a dozen hats in whatever color would be most likely to collect the most stains in the shortest period of time. I would then just terrorize the town by showing up “hatted” at every possible establishment I could find…Just to see if some mouth-breathing, self-important jerk-off has the nerve to actually SAY something about my HAT. I HATE people that think this way. It HURTS.
Last night I went with my wife to a informal retirement “party”.
It was at a military function building, no one in uniform, there was
a vast difference in fashion from one person to the next of about a 100 people. I was in a black suit and tie with a nice dress hat to match. I wore my hat the entire evening. I did not notice anyone that disagreed with my attire. this morning , at my wife’s unit, someone made some type of comment about it. I don’t believe I was wrong. If I was, why didn’t that person do a “on the spot correction” as the military has been taught? Now here is the kicker! These very people have had hats on at other similar functions and even been in front of the entire audience with hats on. let me hear your take on this one.
Dear James: I appreciate your post. If you read the article it describes when wearing military uniforms a person (man or woman) is correctly to keep their hats on indoors during specific situations. As a civilian, it is the custom for to remove hats indoors because most hats are for outdoor use. In the military they are asked to help correct fellow military members as a part of a code of conduct for each other. However, this is not the case in civilian life. Perhaps no one at the event chose to inform you because: a) You may have taken offense at the person telling you; b) might be embarrassed; c) You may be a person who believes a person should be allowed to wear hats wherever and whenever you choose. Reality is it is not anyone’s responsibility to inform others of any errors, unless they know the person will appreciate such information. Regrettably nowadays we never know. As to these same people who have worn hats at other similar functions and even been in front of an audience with hats… perhaps they have since learned the inappropriateness of such actions themselves because I am assuming they weren’t wearing hats at the event you attended… ??? Beyond this I have no opinion without knowing all the facts. I recommend to always think about why and for what purpose you use an item. If it was for outdoor use, then no it is not meant to be worn indoors. Rarely do we see people wearing overcoats indoors. It’s always taken off once indoors. It’s as simple as that!
I think this hat thing is full of it. Customs and Courtesies go much further than a hat. Where is the etiquette of life and man kind? You still have people killing one another, misleading people about life, corrupt history books, and on and on. Where is the etiquette for life? Racism still among us. We can’t even speak to one another in passing on the street. If we are going to do it, lets do it full circle. it’s time to wake up !!!!!
James: I agree with your comments. We should go full circle in caring about everything we do when interacting with others which becomes the “etiquette for life.” While the etiquette of wearing a hat may be a minor item compared to some others, it is all a part of being well informed.
I wear a hat absolutely everywhere because I have a rare medical condition that has caused my head, in addition to hair loss, to become severely disfigured and scared. My hats hide this problem
My hat is not offensive, rude, bad manners or the result of a poor upbringing. I am not wearing it to be cool, make a statement or anything else. All I am trying to do is preserve a little dignity and avoid embarrassment.
I am sometimes confronted by people insisting I remove my hat, and to avoid a scene I normally do. This results in stares, giggles and rude comments, all from supposedly mature adults.
I have been told that my medical condition is an exception to the rule and therefore I am allowed to wear a hat. It is however embarrassing to have to explain my situation to every single person that confronts me about my hat. I should not have to. People need to mind their own business.
I wish people would mind their own business. My wearing a hat isn’t hurting anyone. I shouldn’t have to explain my reason for wearing a hat to anyone in order to justify leaving it on.
Dear Rob: Thank you for your post in sharing the realities of many people needing to wear hats indoors. We’ve had other posts on this similar situation. There are many appropriate “exceptions to the rule.” What’s important on your side is not to show anger toward those who try to correct you. Rather to be the leader in sharing how you are an appropriate exception. Additionally to also wear appropriate “indoor” type hats, versus wearing an outdoor hat indoors which is less appropriate. As it is said: It’s not what you do, but how you do it. Good luck!
I believe it is about others, not yourself. If it offends anyone around you by wearing a hat, then don’t wear it, just out of courtesy. I feel that today we’ve moved to a “ME” society. Let’s be a gentler society and think of others first. The reason I’ve gone to this site is to find out where and when I should and should not wear my hat, so to be curious to others.
Personally, I can come up with a looong list of behaviors and stuff that I find far more offensive than wearing a hat indoors. That person could have a darn good reason for wearing a hat inside. They could be going through cancer treatments or have some other condition that causes them to lose their hair, which can be truly devastating for a lot of people. They certainly don’t need the stares and comments from people.
KS: I agree with you about so many people who have situations requiring them to wear a hat/head coverings all the time. Cancer patients are advised to have a variety of hats. Appropriate hats for outdoor and indoors. The article primarily addresses the awareness and inappropriateness of wearing outdoor hats indoors… that’s it!
Whether intended or not and whether “fair” or not, everything we do or wear sends a message. Wearing an outdoor hat indoors sends the message of being impolite or rude. People like Jeff and Vinny have to be cognizant of their surroundings. Whether individually they might consider a hat as just clothes or part of fashion, the truth is most people you meet will consider it unprofessional. If you are not empathetic to the feelings of the host or people present, then by all means wear your hat.
Next entry should be about people that wear their headphones around their necks indoors or while engaged in conversation. I see this trend often amongst our youth.
To those who “hang their hat” on the idea that a hat was worn to protect yourself from dirt and soot, therefore the hat should be removed when inside… Well guess what, that is why I wear clothes too, so would it be prudent of me to chuck my clothes in the corner when I come over?
Also, at the table, farting, sneezing, cussing, and chewing with your mouth open are examples of being rude and inconsiderate. Wearing a hat is irrelevant.
Um no there is no purpose to take your hat off in a building or anywhere hats are part of your cloths and fashion if you tell us to take our hat off in a building you might as well tell us to go naked cause hats are no diffrence than a shirt besides it goes on your head you people saying its rude to wear a hat in building or at diner table your dead wrong and your stupid because its not rude to wear a hat wearin a hat is not calling you a b****
Hold up a minute. What about hat with some class being worn indoors. I would never wear one of my everyday baseball hats indoors, but I see nothing wrong with a nice fedora to complement my look, and I enjoy the look.
Brian: I understand how wearing hats have become a fashion statement more than being purposeful as part of a person’s image. If you’ve ever seen the television show “White Collar” with the main character of Neil Caffrey, I read he has helped to popularize a comeback of the fedora. Yet in viewing the series I do not recall him ever wearing his hat inappropriately indoors. We must always go back to what a hat was originally invented to do. The exceptions again being hats created for wearing indoors, such as religious and/or medical head coverings and it’s fine to wear them at a public facility, such as a shopping mall or transportation station. I totally understand how difficult it is to know when and where it is acceptable to wear hats. The simplest way to remember is just not to do it indoors. It all boils down to caring enough to show a some consideration and respect when removing your hat indoors.
I learned to remove my hat or “cover” when entering any dining facility or restaurant when I went to boot camp. Part of this was because military dining facilities are used as overflow areas for the sick, injured, and dying during times of need. An exception to this was if you were carrying a weapon, you remained with your head covered.
I find it disrespectful for anyone to wear a hat at the table, even though it wasn’t how I was raised. I belong to a Veterans Service Organization where, if we eat and still have our cover or hat on, we must put a dollar in the kitty, and it’s always done good naturedly. And yes, I’ve forgotten and had to pay up!
We have a young relative (10 yrs old) visiting our home and he came in last night wearing a baseball cap, left it on for the three hours he was here and while he was at the dinner table eating. I had to refrain myself from asking him to take it off. Is it ok to request a visitor to remove their hat, or should you let it go?
Dear Julie: When in your own home you should be able to maintain your own house rules. If a person wears their hat in your home and especially at the dining table, I think you should be free to ask the person to remove it while eating as a sign of respect of your wishes. As to wearing a hat throughout the house, this is something you can choose whether to ask this as well. I do. Thanks for writing.
It would be nice to mention the historical basis for the custom. I never just accepted “It’s rude”, because I couldn’t see why it would be.
Hats were taken off inside because they were worn outside to protect against dirt and soot. Wearing them inside implied the host’s home was just as dirty, and you didn’t want to stay long enough to even bother to remove your hat.
Excellent! The only exception I would take is under how to remove your hat. “Hold it in your right hand across your chest and heart,”. The hat IS held in the right hand and held in the manner described, but it is the hand that should be placed over the heart, not the hat.
Now if only there were a restaurant where uruly adults would learn how to behave. I can’t tell you how many times I have been in a restaurant seated next to a table of loud gabbers. I couldn’t eat my dinner in peace. I’ve seen kids who are more well behaved than the adults.
My husband and I find it horribly offensive when people wear hats (men and women) – especially while eating. We’ve often discussed buying a restaurant just to enforce this rule as well as unruly children and parents lack of responsibility to teach them manners and respect!
Dear LaFave: Thank you for the post. There is such a restaurant in San Francisco called Chenery Park where on Tuesday nights they have special kid friendly menus and ask that kids do behave while dining in their restaurant. They even had an etiquette class (although I wasn’t the instructor). It’s a great win-win for all.
I’ve read all the posts, and it tickles me that almost every one of them ranting against the practice of removing headgear indoors was written by a man. I think the biggest consideration for removing one’s cap/hat indoors is that it favorably impresses the women.
Until you can give me a real excuse not to wear a hat indoors, I’ll continue to do so. If your reason is because my grandpa always told me not to and “it’s just not proper”, wake up and join the 21st century. Think outside the box and stop being confined by old passe rules.
Dear Don M: It is clear you have not read the trail of numerous other posts describing the merits to what I have stated. No matter what anyone may say about the “right” to wear a hat indoors, it still holds true that wearing hats indoors in certain places is still most inappropriate and rude by many cultures and standards… including in restaurants, special indoor events, at a movie/performance theater, at a dining table, a person’s home, etc. Wearing a hat indoors in a shopping mall is fine and not what we’re discussing. Everything in life is a choice. You have the choice to do as you please, without any regard to old-fashion guidelines, or you can choose to show respect and politeness by displaying time-honored behaviors to have the best possible image of yourself.
I find it funny that you’ve chosen to impose your military hat etiquette on the civilian woman.
Traditional etiquette speaks that it is acceptable for a woman to wear a hat indoors unless it is obstructive. If I’m wearing a hat, not removing it is NOT due to laziness or disrespect. It is a matter of not subjecting the people around me to my “hat hair” or flying hair strands due to the removal of my hat. As far as I’m concerned, that is far more rude and inconsiderate than keeping my hat on. My hat is considered part of my attire. As such, I am not required to remove it. I’m quite sure you would not expect me or any woman to take my dress off indoors…
Dear Syndi: I came to your web page, hoping to find guidelines to a problem. Our club requires covers (hats) off when in the bar area. They are told the reason is to show respect for our fallen veterans. As a young man, I was taught by my parents to remove my hat when I entered a home, church, theater, or place to eat etc. It was; as it seemed to be a custom observed by many. Entering a store or large public place like a train station ,or theater lobby you could remain with your hat on. Of course this was before baseball caps became something of a fashion statement. Even young ladies wore dresses, or skirts and tops along with a hat, gloves and handbag when they went out in public. Such was accepted fashion for young women who wished to appear as respectful. When I entered the Air Force, there was no reason for me to question why I needed to remove my cover indoors. Today, things seem to have changed so much. I hear today, why should I do something just because someone else tells me I should. I am an individual, therefore if I want to wear yellow dye in my hair, metal in my lips, etc. why shouldn’t I? However, when you look around, many are really copy cats of the fashion they see on the streets. Such as baseball caps worn backwards (once only done by welders, so they did not need to remove their caps to put on their goggles or helmets). Today, I may go to a place to eat and I see women of all ages and sizes, wearing leggins as outside garments, so sheer that you can easy see: not only if they are or are not wearing underwear, but what type and color and if trimmed in lace or not
Many will claim as I have read in the responses to your page, that they respect others. But do they really? Or do they just think they do. I am offended when I see men wearing hats in places that they should have removed upon entering by social standard, I am offended when I see young men with their pants down around their thighs and their boxers worn as outside garments. I am offended when I see women wearing things like leggins that I can see through or seem to be sizes too small for their size. I am offended by seeing some of the wording on some of the T shirts worn by people today. Since I am offended by these sights and I know many more who are also. The people that say, It should not matter what I wear or how I wear it or where I wear it are really being rude and are not showing respect for themselves or others. Stand by any highway today and observe how many drive MPH over the posted limits. Do they respect the rules that society before them have established. Or do they just feel that rule of conduct is just so old fashion (like not wearing a hat in a place to eat) that they should be allowed to do what ever they want when they want. Kind of really selfish on their part. If you really respect others, would you take some thing of theirs without their permission. Or is the real reason behind all of this was that they were never taught what is right or proper by their elders. In old cultures the elders taught the young the way of the world.
What to do and why it was important to carry on the traditions of the past. The young, then had the responsibility to learn and then carry on the training of the ones to follow. That in it self seems now to be another lost art. People that care about what others may think of them.
Dear Earl: In general, you have articulated things well in terms of acknowledging what’s proper and what’s not. As to what to do and why it is important to carry on the traditions of the past, it’s all about how society evolves as to whether past etiquette continues to hold true in today’s time. For instance, it was etiquette a man was to tip his hat to a woman whenever she would walk past. Today, there is not such practice for any man wearing a hat. Women always wore gloves when traveling downtown to go shopping. Again, no longer a tradition. However, wearing hats indoors, including baseball hats, is enduring for all the respect, courtesy, and obvious reasons of “not” needing a hat on indoors, shall continue to be a sign of good manners and etiquette.
It is all a question of upbringing. The slightly older generation were brought up to use good manners and respect, so basically you try not to offend, and people treated you the same way. Now, it is all me, me, me, and you can see by most of the moments here that there is little or no consideration for others.
A gentleman removes his hat when indoors.
You take off 50% then another 50% off the remaining amount so a 75% reduction in total.
Too add to my last post, a gentleman should never, in public ask or tell anyone to remove their hat (few exception of course as there always will be). A gentleman does not make another man (or woman) feel as though they are less of a man (or woman) then they themselves are. It is called respect, please show it to everyone. I’m also not saying that you should be condemned for wearing your hat when you shouldn’t, but there are many cases where if you take off your hat, people will notice and have a higher opinion of you. You don’t care about others opinions you say? Well it may get you that job or girlfriend you want, that great seat at the table in the front and it may even just make you feel good. Try it sometime with an open mind and your respect for others will shine through. Many people will never notice if you don’t take off your hat, but if you do, people certainly will notice, especially since it is so uncommon nowadays. Thank you.
Thank you for your post. From reading the comments, it seems to me that a lack of respect for ones self and others is a real problem. Too many people are concerned with why something is polite or impolite to just take some things that have always been considered that way at face value. Don’t get me wrong, questioning things is great, especially when they may be bad, but this is one of those things that is neither good or bad. Many of those commenting have said that they don’t see why they should take their hat off in the presence of a lady or in a church or building of worship. It is all about respect. But why is it about respect you ask or snicker? Because, women are and have always been gifts to men, it is proper to respect them, showing them that you value them by doing something special in their presence. It is the same reason that a man never curses or spits in the presence of a lady, but has no problem doing so with men. Our culture has tried to tell us that men and women are equal, but it is simply not true. We both deserve the same amount of respect, but we both have our own strengths and weaknesses. Men show women that respect by doing things differently in their presence, showing them that what they offer is special, worthwhile, and valuable to us. It is us (men) showing appreciation for them being women. So gentlemen, remove your hats in the presence of a lady, your mother will be proud and the lady may just take notice.
As for removing your hat in churches and other places of worship (that expect you to not wear a hat), it is out of respect for the culture, the religion, the people and God. I know, some of you will say that you do not believe in God, but you will notice that there are many other reasons to show respect in that case. An easy rule of thumb is; do not be disrespectful. If it is and has always been respectful to do something that you do not have good reason to morally object to, then you should do it when it is considered appropriate. There is no reason not to. Please be respectful and remove your hats when appropriate. Thank you.
Lol, this entire conversation is hilarious. I don’t know about any of you, but I live in a free country, where I have the right to make my own choices. You may believe that it shows “respect” to remove ones hat indoors. But personally, I believe it shows more respect for an individual to simply be yourself, if you can’t accept someone for who they are, because they are wearing a hat indoors, then you are nothing but a self-centered control freak. You should probably do your research before you discuss these things by the way, because half the things you said are false. To answer a question from earlier it is illegal to wear your hat during the national anthem in the US. Although, it is not a punishable offense.
From the attitude of the replies to this article, most of the responders did not pay attention to their mother or grandmother about being polite to others, or having good manners. Does freedom to do as you will no matter how crude it is trump showing others respect whether they want it or not? Please, take that hat off at least when you are eating!
Most of the responders don’t even have the consideration to use correct spelling, punctuation, or capitalization in their replies.
No matter what is said, think about the women in your life! Wearing a hat indoors is disrespectful to women. Men should not wear a hat indoors. I can’t speak for those with weird hangups but In a military environment…go into the club with your hat on and see what happens! You’ll wind up buying the whole place a round if you wear your hat. When you argue against wearing a hat indoors you are dissing the women in your life. It is a NO-MO! And think about this: today’s youth lack the desire to respect anyone, yet demand other to respect them. Why not start by removing your hat indoors? You have to show respect before you can get it!
Is it disrespectful if: In a private home during the playing of the National Anthem (eg: during a sporting event) not to rise and/or remove a hat or cap (Males/Females)?
Andy Costa: To my knowledge you do not need to rise and take off your hat in your own home while watching a sporting event on your television or computer. It’s only when you are a part of the actual event taking place the respect of taking off your hat and rising is important.
Greetings
I would have loved to know you better M Smith.
I am 30, a man, and I decided, I am going to start wearing a hat. So I looked up what the proper etiquette is. I came across this page, only read the first three comments, and was disgusted. You absolutely talked the truth. I guess, a lot of these people will also say, ” why do I have to say thank you, or excuse me, or put their hand before their mouth when yawning” just because it is an “old custom with no reason for being there”
If only there were more people left like you, the world would still be a better place.
May you be well.
On 12 March 2012 at 2:43 am
M, Smith says:
“I am a historian.
Men used to remove their hats to show respect for women.. an “I take my hat off to you” sort of thing.. Grant you, the way some women act these days, they don’t deserve respect.
However i’m a lady whether you are a gentleman or not.
I care about my guests comfort, but it’s a two way street. If I respect them, they should respect me.
the lowest common denominator prevails today because everyone stays silent about what is acceptable.
One of the great problems with the world is the sense of entitlement some people feel.
If a given custom is something they don’t want to follow, they call it pretentious or make fun of that custom. ”
If you are honest, with just a little bit of decency and manners, you will know these points are the truth, even if you wouldn’t acknowledge it.
I liked the article. Sure, some people may not agree with it,
and others might. I just think it’s kind of cool when a man goes out of his way to doff his hat to a friend or a lady.
As well as, I love old traditions, and wouldn’t mind seeing some of the topics discussed here practiced a bit more.
People overreact to the hat etiquette. Whereas you know it is respectful to remove your car in a church, I don’t see why it’s a problem to wear a hat in restaurants. Military facilities usually tell a person to remove their hat.
For the most part, hat debate depends on the place. I’m sure people will frown upon a person whose wearing their hat in a church. However, many people wear hats in restaurants.
Thanks for the hat etiquette.
Basically its how you show respect, and its all based on who your company is. If you don’t know your company then its a safe bet to take your hat off. Just plainly a simple choice. I have not seen someone feel disrespected by not wearing a hat. Unless your in a different culture. Tradition says it is a sign of respect and everyone knows it. Or at least most people do. Until a a cultural trend changes the meaning. Like the word gay became meaning homosexual now its used in that term. So neither is wrong but to be safe take off the cap.
I like to use the example of the person swearing a lot. Some people allow it and some people hate it. He thinks its okay and swears away until someone comes up and tells him to stop. And he stops or he gets offended. To play it safe it would be proper not to swear in a hosts house until you know who they are. These are not rules, they are just an understanding of most people and back in the old days everyone knew about them. And if every lady knew that when a man tipped his hat to them it means respect and am not anything else. It’s all about understanding the other person’s perspective I think. I think its kinda funny how this topic gets argued over.
Thanks for this article. I love hats, but sometimes am not sure in what situations I shouldn’t be wearing them in (such as doctors appointments). I see it as a sign of respect. Naturally, we evolve over time and due to our environment and these rules can be adjusted, but I certainly don’t think they are entirely outdated, yet!
I would NEVER dream of having someone wear a baseball cap at the dinner table!!!! Much less wear a dirty one inside! There is a place for everything. Pajamas for bed, suits for court, baseball caps for sports.
I have seen that IQ drop that you joke about in regards to the baseball cap, at least how they outwardly portray themselves. Then again I’m 27 from the midwest and wearing a hat backward was a statement that you were really ‘gangsta’. Perhaps it’s mainstreamed with the younger generation by now? (I still find it insulting, rude, and childish with adults)
I hate to see something so simple and charming as hat etiquette to go out of style. Why is it that basic manners are disappearing? Is it really that tough or are we not doing enough to teach our youth? Obviously hats are not the most important issue, but then again neither are please and thank you and we have the good sense to continue teaching our children to be respectful in this capacity. I hardly think hat etiquette is completely outdated.
As for hat etiquette in schools: I struggled with this in school, too. This sort of etiquette it seems is not fitting for public schools, but should still be applied outside of school and after public high school (and hopefully by at least the end of a student’s sophomore year in college.)
It truly makes my blood boil when reading some of these comments and the ignorance from which they stem. As a teenager myself, it annoys me to think that people simple disregard etiquette today. I was eating in a local restaurant the other day, and there were three or four people wearing baseball hats spread across the room, it helped me see the people who weren’t raised on traditional politeness, and to me, separates the people who would give you his coat in the winter, and the uneducated idiot who would buy drugs from a local dealer… I think hat etiquette is a very important thing, it separates the true gentlemen, who are perhaps worth keeping, and the common ignorant type, who would not remove their hat for their girlfriends parents, to name an example.
You don’t have to be smart to follow etiquette, and it’s just a subtle step to being a gentleman, that a woman (that is worth keeping, at least) will notice, and by not doing shows a lack of respect and self dignity.
Wow.
First off, the article isn’t at all informative. All it says is basically, “No! No! No! Because I said so.” It offers no logical rationale whatsoever. One of the comments that I read explained that it was originally based on a show of trust in times of war. That makes sense, similar to shaking hands with the right rather than the left because most people would wield a weapon with the right, thus implying a level of unarmed safety when doing so.
Having noted and understood that, it seems logical to disregard the tradition given that there is no war being waged in North America, and although ‘mericuns are known for carrying loaded weapons, Canadians are thankfully above such barbaric practices, so why worry about a show of trust when there’s no danger in the first place.
Also, it’s incredibly inane to be so offended by something as innocuous as a hat. What about it is offensive? Seriously, what harm could it possibly inflict upon a person? It’s a hat for crying out loud! The lack of reason and logic is text book ‘god-fearin’ christian’ mentality.
And thirdly, it’s terribly rude and presumptuous to assume that someone’s hat is “dirty”. What if the hat had only just been purchased en route to your house? The people with whom I associate only wear clean clothes, including hats. It makes sense to remove one’s shoes upon entry to another’s home, given the fact that shoe soles will almost certainly become soiled by walking outside, thus leading to dirty or even stained floors, especially in the case of carpeted floors. In contrast, a hat is very unlikely to become soiled, and even if it did somehow, it almost certainly would not ruin anything in a host’s abode, except perhaps if it IS removed.
I don’t really expect this to sink in given the fact that it’s the result of rational thought rather than “because I said so” programming, but it’s always fun to try to break through the fog of collective ignorance.
:o)
Dear Lora. I live in Manchester England and have started wearing what I call “real hats”. I have always loved them but been cautious about wearing them in case others thought I was barmy (English for crazy). However I have now decided to do what I want so I went on the internet to check the etiquette I was a bit unsure about lunch in a restaurant/cafe, I thought I should keep the hat on and was pleased to see you concur. Whilst I was at your website I decided to read the letters from other people and enjoyed them.
Personally I don’t like grown up people wearing baseball hats except at sporting or as a sunhat but it’s their choice isn’t it.
My Mum always used to say it was good to be different, if we were all the same think how boring life would be!
So cheerio from across the pond.
Sioux
You gave been a big help. But, I was always told that there was a season to waer the western cowboy hat. However, I was never given a strait answer. What months is it proper to waer the straw hat, and when is it proper to change to the felt hat? I’m in Texas, so I see the straw hat almost all year long, but I know that is emptier ediquet. When should they change from felt to straw, then straw back to felt?
Thanks
Dear Lora: All rules are made to be broken… so to speak, depending on the location in which you live that over time has altered the tradition. This is what creates culture. The culture of TX is different than CA or other places throughout the world. Time have changed how we all do things and a person must be flexible to the environment in which they live. My best guess, not ever having lived in TX is no one ever wears a felt hat, which is traditionally worn in winter and straw hats in summer. It’s the nature of the material to help keep a person’s head warmer in winter and cooler in summer. Thanks for the question.
I wear a hat indoors sometimes, but only when I’m working with tools and whatnot because my hair’s real long and gets in the way sometimes, and the hat helps keep it out of my eyes.
During basic training with the US Army the hat (cover) etiquette was practiced over weeks at a time. They made a joke out of it because you can’t have it on in a building when unarmed, but it MUST be on outside. Determining the exact time to put on or take off your hat was the source of countless pushups! I had been taught this etiquette before I entered the army. Even today I practice it without exception. Sadly enough all the etiquette areas like hat, door, table manners, proper clothing are slowly drying up…we’re living in a hoodie world! But here’s the key: a man who practices this etiquette will be graciously noticed by a woman of the same caliber…the man who does not will wonder what he did wrong and never understand.
Women wear hats inside (any style) because they are instructed by the Bible to cover their heads for prayer, and to pray at all times.
Many a convention of earlier society fades away like bygone formalism to a bygone era. A thing I like about modern civilities are how we have opted for kindness and simplicity over gesture and protocol.
Is society ready to throw their salad forks away? Probably not.
How about wearing a hat indoors? We may let that offense be lost to graceful abandon.
I get it……. The author of the above article doesn’t like ball caps, as several of the posters here in the comments section. I’d say that’s a different issue all together.
This practice seems to have started long ago for very different reasons, and seems to have lost much of it’s significance with modern society. (along with armor, royalty, industrial fallout and sexist chivalry)
I take my ball cap or Kangol Beret (the only two types of hats I wear) off for the Anthem, observance of (other’s) prayer (as I personally do not pray) and if dinning socially; otherwise I leave them on, not to disrespect anyone, but I assume seeing my “Hat Hair” which lies underneath will not put anyone at anymore ease than than my clean cap, which IS in fact, usually worn backwards (Kangol’s are meant to be worn backwards). I’m not stupid, but caps are part of my casual attire, not to be worn to the office or a job interview, any more than jeans or track suits.
When in doubt, allow common sense to rule as to when a hat is appropriate.
If a person is going to judge you for wearing a ball cap, then taking the cap off just makes you vulnerable for the next thing they will judge you for, in short; look for those who will not judge you. This is what I’m taking away from this debate.
Thanks,
I would surmise most of you who deem the practice of doffing your hat indoors archaic are probably under 40.
But, Dale…Preposterous!?! Come now.
“…So… how can I say this nicely without yelling in all capital letters: No man or woman, young or old, should ever, ever, ever, ever wear a sports hat — especially a baseball cap—indoors…”
“…This is truly among my very top pet peeves whenever I see it happening in restaurants. I’ve often threatened to walk around the restaurant to alert the offenders…”
I know it’s very hard for autistics to avoid having meltdowns when they see the outside world dare not conform to their most rigid rules (whether the rule is “I don’t want to see men wear hats in the elevator,” “I don’t want to see bowls and plates on the same shelf,” or something else) so congratulations on developing the self control to not yell. 🙂
“…I believe that the breach of etiquette in embarrassing a host or making others feel slighted is far worse than the breach of etiquette some regard the wearing of a hat indoors…”
Alex, you’re using the neurotypical system of imagining how the other people would probably feel and caring what other people think about you. It’s very difficult for autistic people to ask themselves that question about other people, and caring about what other people think also goes against autistic culture. It’s easier for people with that diagnosis and/or loyalty to that culture to memorize simpler rules about inanimate objects (such as hats). This way, they can go through the motions and more easily get by without having to directly think as much about the other people having thoughts.