Do you have one or more words or phrases you can’t stand? I do. Among them is the word “further” instead of “farther” when talking about distance. Another is common on signs in stores, saying “10 items or less” when it should read, “10 items or fewer.”
But my Number One worst pet peeve is how people constantly use “No problem” as the response to almost everything. It’s become a so trite, clichéd, unoriginal, and commonplace.
I knew I reached a boiling point when I saw this quote by the British author P.G. Woodhouse: “A slight throbbing about the temples told me that this discussion had reached saturation point.” Not only do my temples throb, but my brain screeches every time I hear those two words. And sadly, I hear them all too often. Cashiers say “No problem” after I thank them for the change I receive for my purchase. Waiters say “No problem” when giving me change from the bill I just paid. Front desk attendants say “No problem” after I thank them for giving me my room key.
What was the problem in the first place? What happened to the simple yet powerful phrases of “You’re welcome” and perhaps “My pleasure?”
It’s not just people in the service field who say it. I recently heard it out the mouth of a 6-year-old boy, and worst of all I’ve caught myself saying it. (By the way, if you ever hear me saying “No problem” please feel free to call my attention to it, if I didn’t already do it first.)
In many other languages, the customary reply to “Thank you” is not always a literal translation of “You’re welcome.” In French, for instance, the reply is “De rien,” which means, “It was nothing.” In Spanish, a common response is “De nada,” which means, “It was nothing” as well. In the U.S., Americans even use the slang “No problemo,” a bastardization of the more correct Spanish phrase, “No hay problema,” or “Ningún problema.” Is that where we get it? The more we hear and see the term used – even in movies — the more correct we think it is.
No matter how you slice it, in American English, to use the phrase “No problem” as the correct response to “thank you” and most other situations is not accurate. In fact, it’s inappropriate, in most instances inaccurate and in some instances rude. The correct response… one more time is “You’re welcome,” or “It’s my pleasure.”
Help Me Stamp out “No Problem”
I’m declaring a personal crusade to stamp out the use of “No problem” in our society. Henceforth, this subject will be a standard item in all my seminars and presentations, as are a few other topics, such as writing thank you notes. If you agree, please join me in a crusade to stamp it out. Here’s all you need to do:
1. Post a comment in the area below to show support of my efforts. I’d love to know I’m not alone.
2. Share your own stories about situations you’ve encountered where you heard the words “No problem” in lieu of what you think would have been a better choice of words.
3. Submit your own commitment to making every effort to eliminate these words from your writing and speech.
4. For parents and teachers: Educate and encourage your children and students on the merits of not using these words.
5. As an employer, share this article as something for your staff members to not use in front of your clients and customers.
If we all reduce the use of these words in lieu of other more appropriate words, over time it will become less and less common and appropriate to say. This is exactly how etiquette comes into effect.
Together we may be able to make a positive change in our society.
Happy Practicing!
Thank you for posting this. I am instructed at work to use this phrase which I have been fighting for two years. Customers do not need to even think they may be a problem. If they have an issue, it is our duty to settle it, and that should not be a problem. Customer service is just that; we serve the customer and for that is should not ever be a problem.
“no problem” IS a problem, a growing ein fact, and alas not just with the milennials. i’ve just decided to try a new response next time it occurs. my other major word peeve is “just sayin'” when someone is trying to be absolved of a discourteous comment. just think before you spea, easier really. the latter seems far more common in emails so my response is to not respond! slang is ok and can be colorful sometimes but rudeness is never in style.
Thank you for this column. The “no problem” issue is a problem. I’m with the author of the article. When I say “Thank you,” and the server responds “No problem,” I think no, it shouldn’t be a problem, you’re doing your job, not a problem at all. It has nothing to do with a change in linguistics or being elite or changing times, as suggested in some comments. It’s just rude.
Thanks for some oother informative site. Where else may just I
am getting that type of information written in such an ideal manner?
I’ve a mission that I’m just now working on, and I’ve been at the look ouut for such information.
Dimitri: Go to http://www.AdvancedEtiquette.com/blog to view all past articles and to enroll in our newsletter posts to receive future tips directly. We’d love to have you join our happy family of over 8,000 subscribers worldwide.
I’m not sure exactly why but “no problem” response gets under my skin too.
For me, being well educated, it all depends on your tone of voice. Honestly, I got way more issues to worry about than the,”No Problem,” like serving my county in Iraq/Afghanistan keeping our people safe. I love it when a non-service member says,” Thank you for your service!” I always say,”No Problem,” since your not going to serve don’t tell me thank you for my service unless your another service member period. I say no problem since it don’t like saying your welcome. Your welcome sucks!
I learned formal etiquette as a child, and served in the Army as a young adult. I still don’t know what to say when someone thanks me for my service. Usually the best I can do is, “It was a job.”
Good to know I’m not the only one uncomfortable answering, “You’re welcome” to this.
On the whole “no problem” thing, It’s hard not to hear arrogance and entitlement in the tone of the messages where this phrase is criticized in this comments section. I understand this to be a generational and probably originating from feelings outside of my own social class, but to the kind individuals who hear this phrase and want to go on a rampage I say, “Relax. Language is fluid, and a self-effacing acknowledgement of your show of appreciation isn’t a sleight against anyone”
It was no trouble at all.
This is the most elitist and obviously written by an older person with “young people” in mind thing I have read in some time. Language changes… generations do not speak exactly the same. “No problem” is polite. Being overtly annoyed by people who are trying to be polite is not. Yikes.
Can you please add “No worries” to your list, as well? I find it even more annoying than “No problem”. A cashier hands me my change and says, “No worries” when I thank him/her? Really? I was worried? About what? The possibility that he/she might cut and run with my measly change?
Grrr ….
According to this same literal logic, saying “You’re welcome” implies that you are welcome to use my services any time you want, which also seems unrealistic to me (depending on what I just did for you).
Either way, doesn’t language have implied connotations and tone? I understand that manners are important but I would rather have someone say “No problem” with a smile than someone say “You’re welcome” sarcastically or while rolling their eyes.
Kevin: I suppose you are correct in how every person’s interpretation of words can be different. I stand by my thought that saying “no problem” implies there may have been an unrevealed problem and that “you’re welcome” does imply the person is open to call upon me for assistance again. To me it is not sarcastic in any way. It is simply a cordial and welcoming response. Thank you for writing.
What do you suggest as an alternative that it is more appropriate?
Azfar: There can be several alternatives to respond to various situations that are equally, more or less appropriate. It all depends on the specific situation that will dictate a proper response.
I have to say that I think that something has changed over a generation. its’ not the language but more a culture amongst the new generations of being seen as humble. People appreciate knowing more information about how it made that person feel to do the favor. Saying “My pleasure” sounds self inflating and pompous. God forbid they found it enjoyable!
To me it seems it has flipped slightly. Thank-you is not just a word used to show appreciation or token word, people actually feel thankful. Thank-you is now really another word for thankful. I am thankful. No problem is a word form of bowing, like saying I am less important, you are more important, I am humbled by your thankfulness. This is why it’s not rude to me at all.
Beyond obvious work situations, favors are not expected and people are not expected to be slaves to one another or of service to one another. And to be so arrogant to imply you deserve service from others (even if you do) looks extremely rude. I think this is due to a huge growth in independence and individualism. People like to do things for themselves, and manage themselves and a balance in power.This has negative and positive sides to it, but this to me gives sound reason as to why “no problem” has become more accepted, and seems LESS rude to me than saying “you’re welcome,” or “my pleasure.”
“No problem” includes not only the intention behind your action but explains that the process wasn’t an issue or cause of negative feelings. You’re welcome does not. In fact it almost seems insincere. No problem also forgives whatever action it took to get to this point (for example if you had to race around town amongst traffic jams to find a specific present for someone it wasn’t pleasurable, but the problems you faced… well… are now not a problem to you).
The sad thing is, people are so insecure that politeness can be seen as a warning that someone is doing something out of their own best interest. Being polite so they can get something, or a sly or malicious intention. Hackers and psychopaths are always extremely polite to begin with. And actually unfortunately a world where people forget to do nice things for people, even simple things like opening doors. Thankfulness is far more sincere these days and less of a token reply.
The positive side is that the intention behind doing things for others is from a place of giving. Giving has replaced service. And with that in mind, this is why saying “no problem” means that giving that particular person your time and energy was no problem to you when they may have felt bad for asking you. People are not great at asking each other for help. No problem has therefore become a reassurance that their request was not in any way problematic. Or alternatively if they know you went out of your way for them, that you have no negative feelings about it.
I guess what I am saying here is that yes there are places to say my pleasure, and you’re welcome….particularly in the workplace or service industries, but something has changed around the meaning and culture of giving and receiving and even with the phrase thank-you itself, making “no problem” a more humble and accepted form of replying to the thankfulness of another.
Your article reminds me of what is wrong with education in this country.
There is absolutely no problem with the expression ‘no problem’.
You have not provided any actual linguistic reason why ‘no problem’ is bad usage beyond you seem to have pathological reactions to other people’s language. And that’s because there is no linguistic reason. (Did you see me begin a sentence with a so-called conjunction? That’s also because there is no linguistic reason why this is ‘wrong’.)
‘No problem’ is also found in languages from Chinese (没有问题 or, literally, ‘no problem’), to Russian (нет проблем or, literally, ‘no problems’) to Spanish (no hay problema).
There is simply no reason why this expression is grammatically incorrect, culturally insensitive or insulting.
Also, regarding the supposed distinction between ‘further’ and ‘farther’, not only is this childishly simplistic difference useless in many cases (“I”m further/farther along in the book than he is.” Seriously, they’re both correct!), but Fowler’s and the Oxford distinction have NO PROBLEM with using them interchangeably!
I am extremely lucky to work in a job which causes me to be thanked countless times a day to which i have always replied with “no problem” or “no worries” and although my customers never seem to mind it drives me crazy mostly because I spent many years learning to speak and have spent many years teaching my children and think the constant use of one or two phrases over and over is limiting so just recently I have tried to use different phrases such as “your welcome” and “my pleasure” and anything else which springs to mind and is more suited to each scenario. I accidentally slipped the other day and said “no problem” so expanded it with “it was my genuine pleasure” and I have to admit it’s quite refreshing and my customers seem to be more receptive to it I imagine this is because it’s a break from the normal robot like response they get everywhere
What do you say when someone apologizes to let them know it wasn’t a big deal and we can move on?
Mish: One thing you could say, “Thank you. I appreciate the apology. No need to dwell on this ever again.” I would not say “no big deal” or a variation of this because it appears you are truly dismissing the original issue/situation as though it wasn’t… whatever.
Humility is not conveyed by the phrase ‘no problem’.
Negative feelings and emotions are engaged due to the conditioning received in infancy whenever we hear the word ‘no’ and further induced when we hear ‘problem’.
Positive words verbalised enhance a inspiring inner dialogue which in turn may encourage others and consequently ourselves.
I agree.
I really appreciated your post! I hate it when people say “No problem” in response to a “thank you” from me.
I think of it this way: you hand someone a thank you for a good deed/favor. “You’re welcome” or “My pleasure” is a way of receiving that thank you with grace and warmth. “No problem” is a way of holding up your hand and refusing the “thank you” or tossing it back like a hot potato. There’s no satisfaction, no exchange of good will or warmth for either the “thanker” or the “no problem-er.”
“No problem” or “No worries” would be appropriate if I apologized for a mistake that I thought may have been a problem. In that context it would be comforting; otherwise, it’s inappropriate and always makes me wince when I receive a “No problem” in response to a “thank you.”
It is really one of my pet peeves and a real mis-use of our language.
Someone else expressed my thoughts on the matter clearly on another site so I am just pasting their response here:
The phrase “no problem” is a short version of “It was no problem,” implying that it didn’t cause the person any trouble or hardship to do the thing for which they are being thanked.
It could be construed as an act of humility or deference, because they are suggesting that the action they performed, and any inconvenience it may have caused them, are unimportant relative to the positive impact to the thanking party.
Fully unpacked, it goes like this:
“It was no problem for me to hold the door for you, because your ease of access is more important than me getting to my car faster.”
Compare this with “You’re welcome”, which could be construed as an acknowledgement by the thanked party that they did do something worth thanking.
In an extreme case, this could be construed as more selfish or even arrogant, because the thanked party is allowing attention to be on them, instead of the other party.
“You’re welcome to this open door, which I am holding open.”
Obviously both connotations are usually very minor and mostly ignored; most of the time, people choose ‘you’re welcome’ or ‘no problem’ because “It’s just what you say when someone thanks you.” I doubt many people actually think it’s arrogant to say “you’re welcome” unless it’s said with a rude tone of voice. However, these implications may explain why ‘no problem’ has become more common, and could even be seen as a more polite reply.
Dominic: I appreciate the time you took to write. Thank you. Your points are well taken. Everyone who reads this post must keep in mind, saying “no problem” is not a phrase “never” to be used. There are appropriate situations it makes total sense. My argument is “no problem” is often an inappropriate phrase for specific situations that has become commonplace. Your example above about is fine to have said “no problem” because it was in fact a true sentiment. What is my pet peeve are examples such as when I give a check-out person money to pay for my purchases, they give me change, I say Thank you, and the person replies, no problem. In this instance a ‘you’re welcome’ would have been more appropriate.
The issue is “no problem” compared to “you’re welcome”. “Your welcome” is for a different context.
I have worked in the service industry all my life and I do not take offence at the use of”no problem” However I think that to make the effort to use a better and more polite your welcome is so much better and training your staff to say the best things can translate into better and more profitable endeavours. That is a fact.
If the previous commenter is floored by such a mission of that to encourage better etiquette then no one can critisise that genuinely held view However lm not “floored because I have a different opinion.
I am completely floored by the fact that so many people appear to be offended by this phrase. Rather than insinuating that the task someone may have performed for you was a problem, the phrase “no problem” is literally expressing that the task was NOT A PROBLEM. It was not an issue, it was nothing, it was no trouble. I can’t even imagine being the sort of person who would consider “taking back my thank you” just because I didn’t like the phrase someone responded to my thanks with. I understand that the older generation might not quite be used to this phrase yet, but that does not mean that it is hideously rude. Every generation brings along with it new ways of speaking; it’s completely normal. In my opinion, the most genuinely upsetting thing here is the fact that this article infers that the way “your welcome” is expressed in other languages is not “correct”.
Ah..if we are transitioning to the “perfect” response, I actually go out of my way to elicit the “perfect” response; indeed, it has become a challenge to go out to a restaurant with my girlfriend, peruse the menu, place our orders, and eagerly await the server’s response. Will it be a “good choice”, which isn’t bad, but not nearly as pleasant as a “perfect.” Ah, I could not have ordered anything better..what a reward!
I have a new pet peeve — the “Perfect.” response. Read on http://starnorth.ca/bearings/?p=69.
To your request, I say “No problem” I will be happy to join you in your quest.
I agree, in the work place it is never OK to say “not a problem” to a customer. It is alright to say “sure thing!”, if “you are welcome” feels too formal. As a teacher I could not imagine saying this to a parent, who really are our kind of like our clients. Our grocery stores and dollar stores etc, need to train these young folks not to say that. Why end a fine transaction with the word “problem”??
I’m a public educator, mother, wife, and friend. No matter what role we play in life, responding with “No problem” instead of “Thank you” is indeed a HUGE problem. It’s called poor etiquette, no manners, and just downright rude.
No problem in response to thank you . Please in general don’t throw around thank you unless they really mean it. You are welcome sounds like the person appreciates that you responded in a positive manner to the task or gesture. No problem sounds negitive and leaves me feeling disappointed that I said thank you in the first place.
I have long been bothered by the use of the phrase “no Problem”.
Last night at a charity dinner, I finally spoke out and politely suggested “My pleasure” to the young waiter who was systematically replying “No Problem” to each “Thank you” that was offered at our table of 10. To my surprise, he replied, “That does sound better”. Maybe I finally made a difference in someone’s life. lol
From a customer service viewpoint, No problem” contains two negative, “No” and “Problem”. Psychological perspective you don’t want to introduce negative thoughts to your customers.
Think about. Someone says, “Thank you” and the first thing they hear in reply is “No”. The second thing they hear is, “Problem”. Two negative thoughts!
Hearing, “It was my pleasure, or “My pleasure, or “Glad to be of assistance” or “Happy to help” all have a subliminal positive affect.
Cheers,
John from Pennsylvania
While “no problem” may be annoying to some, to stop it you may as well stand outside and try to restrain the wind.
I can see both sides of this… something that’s probably going to become more and more common.
Yes, saying “No problem” instead of “You’re welcome” or similar is pretty rude if you take it at face value, literally, etc. It MEANS “You’re welcome,” after all. It’s awfully similar to saying “How’s it going?” when you mean “Hello.” No one’s likely to give you an actual answer as to how it’s going when you offer a greeting like that. At least we hope not. It would seem weird.
“Hi.”
“Well, my dog got hit by a car yesterday.”
No.
So it’s both: It’s rude and implies that giving you back your change might have been a problem… and it’s also simply a manifestation of how language changes. Still, I’ve been making an effort to say this less.
I was born in the 60s and it doesn’t bug me all that much anyway. I get what the person saying it really means. My mom was born in the 30s and it drives her up the wall. What does this indicate? It says that in large part it’s a generational thing. So what. That’s a broader way of acknowledging that it’s how language changes (which is ALSO a generational thing). I hate when the young’uns use “OMG” or “LOL” as actual parts of speech, like they are real words. Those younger than me don’t think there’s a thing wrong with it; those younger than them won’t even notice.
Same thing.
THANK YOU!! This is approx. the 10th web site I’ve read on the “no problem” issue and I agree with you. The vast majority of opinions on those other sites has been that “no problem” is the most favored response, based on its casual, less formal tone. Younger people seem to hear “you’re welcome” as stilted, formal, condescending, overbearing. “No problem,” to them, is friendly and connotes equality and reciprocity. I’m glad to know that,
but I hear it otherwise. To me, “no problem” dismisses the courtesy I am extending to them, in appreciation of their service. It tempts me to say, “Okay. Forget I offered my thanks.”. Now that I know they are trying to be polite, it’s easier to accept–even though I still don’t like it. Thanks.
We use a chat / IM program at work. At the end of discussions, I usually have a reason to type “Thank you” and always get a “no problem” or “np” response, so that’s where I get it the most. It’s an annoying phrase.
Excellent answer.
However I would be cautious of a future employer who displays a level of incompetence that he or she would not tolerate from you If you were given the job. it’s not just words but actions that matter.
waiting for an employer to call me, I took the initiative and called this evening after waiting the full day – his response was an apology and formal reason and that it would be accomplished tomorrow – I wanted to respond no problem…. is that incorrect? (in a situation like such)
Dear Shabazz: Yes, I suppose saying “no problem” in this situation is fine. However, because “no problem” has become such an overused phrase that I avoid it like the plague! It’s a phrase I feel never has to be used… in lieu of other equally meaningful words. Perhaps when the person apologized you could simply say, “No apology needed. Thank you for explaining.”
I would like to respectfully disagree with the notion that “no problem” is dismissive or disrespectful. In fact, I believe that the phrase has taken hold as a result of certain bastardizations of the phrase “you’re welcome,” which have become trendy in recent years. I can think of two fairly recent new uses of “you’re welcome.” Both are intentionally sarcastic and condescending.
The first is the use of “you’re welcome” delivered in such a manner as to imply that a “thank you” was deserved but not offered. For example: I, a cashier, might tell my customer, “Thank you very much! Have a great day!” But every now and then I get a rude customer that blatantly ignores me and walks away without responding. Then I loudly think, “yeah, you’re WELCOME” as they walk out the door.
The other use of “you’re welcome” is the snide way of saying “Look what I just did for you. I totally deserve your appreciation.” For instance: I might jokingly (albeit rudely) tell my coworker “I just put away all those supplies you left out yesterday. You’re welcome.” My coworker understands that I am joking. But I’m always afraid my customer might hear “you’re welcome,” but infer that I think I’ve just done him or her some huge favor by giving them a minute of my time.
For these reasons, I choose to say “No problem.” I believe it is a humble, happy medium that does not imply that I believe myself entitled to thanks of any kind. I didn’t do the thing for want of appreciation; I did it merely because I wanted to help you. Alternately, to use the interpretation of “No problem” as meaning “It’s nothing,” I am also trying to communicate, that the person did not burden me in any way. It was no trouble because I wanted to help.
Times change. Languages evolve. Not everyone will experience the same negative connotation of “you’re welcome” that I do, but I believe “no problem” will remain a popular choice as long as “you’re welcome” remains a popular conveyance of derision and frustration.
Angie: Yes, it is a matter of perspective and your comments are appreciated, which is the purpose of blogs. To engage in conversation about various topics.
The awareness of proper etiquette is so scarce that to read this was a breath of fresh air. Especially in the service business. The lack of etiquette and language education makes me feel sometimes to create my own course specially for the service business to get rid of this! Another thing when someone says no problem, it can also come across as arrogant – almost ‘like’ don’t do me any favors!
I agree for most circumstances, “You’re welcome” is the best. I used to use “No problem”. What I hear in many cases recently is “No worries”, which is used to avoid the “problem” issue and further to communicate that the gesture for which one is being thanked is an expected or assumed one, and does not require a “Thank You”, and is mostly used in situations of minor import.
Holding a door, helping someone pick up something that was dropped like a book or a pen or some coins are things that in the eye of the
“helper” may not require formal thanks. However changing someone’s flat tire or performing an actual service that is more than a trvial act surely requires a “Thank You” and a “You’re Welcome”.
I
Organizing a petition to change a modern colloquialism simply because it bothers you is quite the futile act of frustration.
I always have to wonder what would happen if all the people that spend so much time and energy rallying against relatively inconsequential things, actually focused that passion and energy into the process of changing themselves (which is the ONLY person any of us can control anyway) in order to be a living piece of the solution to so many of the destructive personal, national, and international problems that are threatening life as we know it.
To BP
I read your contribution with interest whilst I agree with you that people may unwittingly use the expression “no problem in good faith with the best of motives out still remains that to allow good etiquette to degrade without any attempt to try to encourage the proper use of English and especially in customer service environments, it then becomes a self fulfilling prophesy that the language will degrade even further and then where do you draw the line?.
What if you apply your logic to someone who replies yeah man no s**t! come again! ( said in good faith with a good motive?. It’s out not better to proactively attempt to encourage good English before it gets to that.
These expressions were not always in use but have crept in because of lax attitudes which lead to lax speech and lax customer service. Even king Cannute which you seem to suggest we parallel made an attempt.
I recently raised the subject with a hotel manager and we had a long discussion about the subject and he thanked me and told me he would immediately be putting my suggestions into practice with his staff. There is a proven connection between generating profit and the use of good etiquette and composites invest millions of pounds in training their staff on this subject to have a competitive edge in the market place. , “An old proverb says manners maketh man”-. Have a nice day!
I must admit that I don’t like it at all. I have been an expat in Central America for twenty years so I missed out. Whew!! People didn’t use it before the end of the 80’s or beginning of the 90’s. Growing up in D.C. in the 70’s and 80’s I don’t ever remember hearing it. Maybe it was that silly puppet Alf that popularized it.
The transition from “no problem” to “no worries” has exacerbated the ‘problem.’ Both are inappropriate and downright absurd. When I thank a server or a store clerk and he/she says, “no problem” or “no worries”, my immediate reaction is “Of course it’s not a problem (or, “of course I have no worries”); IT’S YOUR JOB! I would not expect you to have a problem performing your job, nor would I worry about you performing your job. On the other hand, a response of “You’re welcome” or “My pleasure” would be most welcome and a genuine pleasure.
I have had the pleasure of being in management for almost 30 years and have trained many customer service / sales people about proper etiquette with clients in a variety enviroments and situations. The words ‘No Problem’ are like an infestation of cockroaches that need to be eradicated. I count myself as one of the minions who have waged a personal crusade against this pestilence. ‘No Problem’ is a problem!!
I think the meaning behind the words is more important than the words themselves. It is mostly (young) people that aren’t yet self aware that say “no problem”. They don’t mean any harm by it. They’re trying to be friendly and that’s what I focus on. I’ve seen cashiers that won’t acknowledge a “thank you”. I would rather hear “no problem” than for them to say nothing.
I think it’s important that when you say “thank you”, that you do it out of the goodness of your heart and don’t expect validation in return. Better for your mental health to be grateful for the courtesies you receive. If you expect everyone to say “you’re welcome”, you’re going to be disappointed often, because that’s the way much of society is and you can’t change it. Best thing to do is lead by example.
Remember, many people in the service industry are doing the job because they feel they “have to”. It is likely they aren’t enjoying serving you so if they are to say “you’re welcome”, they will essentially be lying to you. Would you prefer people lied to you or would you rather they be true to themselves thus honest with you?
Last but not least, by expecting people to say “you’re welcome”, you are being hard on them, which naturally means you are hard on yourself. The more peace you can make with yourself accepting your flaws and realizing you’re not perfect, the better you can tolerate others.
I love this page! This is also my pet peeve — every single time I thank “the new generation” the reply, is “no problem”….My husband went out the other night and the ONLY statement we ever got from our waiter was “no problem”…you can only imagine how many times I thanked him for something and that is the reply. We have a new receptionist at work, and all day all I hear her saying is “no problem” – in a law office? Really? I have mentioned to her, but it hasn’t stopped — she has even written a large note taped to her computer screen that says “No not say No Problem”…as a reminder, but it apparently doesn’t work either. Please people, learn proper terms and properly reply to a simple Thank You!
I knew my skin crawled each time I heard “No Problem” but couldn’t remember what used to be said before this phrase became the norm. THANK YOU for reminding me that “You’re welcome” is the much better response.
Unless you can grasp the (admittedly and sadly fading) concept of being “of service” to someone (and buy into it), you will never understand the correctness of saying “You’re Welcome” or “My pleasure” as a response to “Thank You”, nor understand the incorrectness of saying “No Problem”.
I don’t think it’s that serious. Most people, especially me, say, “no problem” out of force of habit. I’ve been saying “no problem” for most of my adult life. Someone brought it to my attention today. Yes, I do tend to over use it…but If I am asked to do something and I successfully carry out the task, what does it matter what I say. Even if I said “gobbledegook” just take it or leave it.
While we are focused on the nuances of the English language, we need to focus REAL issues!
Hi
In reply to Kelly.
You are to be congratulated for disagreeing so eloquently. And, bearing in mind that this site is titled “advanced etiquette” it is only proper to accommodate a reasonable challenge of thought with good grace.
However I have to say I am unconvinced with your explanation.
To say that there is a “subtle difference” between “you’re welcome” and “no problem” in my opinion is an understatement. If I let a door remain open a little longer to accomodate a peer and I respond to thank you with ” no problem” then I send a signal that if that person thought that it may have been a problem then I am simply (and only) reasuring them that it wasn’t.
That is hardly complementary!.
However, if I respond with ” you’re welcome” then you are sending a signal that you hold that person with esteem and that it is your pleasure to acknowledge that with a compliment.
I would hardly say that that difference is “subtle!”
Hence the one response may be more commonplace whilst the other may not be however I would say the later is good etiquette and I use it regularly with my customers who in turn have noticed themselves how nice and how different to be spoken to thoughtfully.
We have a saying in England ” the proof of the pudding is in the eating” try habitually using it. You might be suprised at the positive reactions.
I disagree. There is a very subtle difference between “You’re welcome” and “No problem.” “You’re welcome” implies that I acknowledge that I have intentionally done something for you that I consider to be of value, and I do expect to be thanked for it. I go out of my way to hold the door open for you, you say “thank you,” I say “you’re welcome.” But if I’m already holding the door open for myself and only slightly delay for you, you walk through and say “thank you,” I may reply with, “no problem,” meaning I really didn’t do all that much and don’t particularly expect acknowledgment for it, although it is appreciated.
To say “You’re welcome” is to accept the gift of thanks. To say “No problem” is to humbly deflect it. Where “You’re welcome” is used, it implies there would have been insult had the “thank you” not been offered. Where “no problem” is used, it implies that the “thank you” is a bit of a surprise.
Of course, I assume not everyone agrees with me and that’s okay. David Sedaris, very funny and prolific author, is on a personal crusade against the word “awesome.” I also disagree with him. 🙂
Syndi, well done. Along with spelling and grammar, the use of “no problem” is also a pet peeve of mine.
P.S. On a related topic, I wanted to point out the improper use of the word ‘inn’ above. In the last sentence of the sixth paragraph, you say…”even inn movies”…, when I think you meant…”even in movies”…Sorry, but I just couldn’t help myself.
Dear Joe L: Thanks for the comment and catch on the typo. I appreciate you pointing it out. It’s now corrected. Syndi.
You are not alone. When I ask a colleague to do their job and provide me info I thank them when they provide the info. 90% of time I now get a “np”. So now I reply “Were you expecting there to be a problem?”