Spring is upon us, Easter is coming soon, and baseball season is about to begin here in the U.S. It is the time of year many people wear all sorts of hats until winter hats are again needed. Actually, this topic has been on my mind for months, waiting for just the right month to do it, and here it is!
Indoors: So… how can I say this nicely without yelling in all capital letters: No man or woman, young or old, should ever, ever, ever, ever wear a sports hat — especially a baseball cap—indoors. Not in restaurants, in someone’s home, at the dining table, at church, a funeral, in a classroom, in a museum, at a movie or performance theatre… on and on. There is absolutely no purpose to keeping your hat on… not even when you are having a bad hair day or need to cover up a bald spot on your head. It’s all about when it’s proper or not proper to wear a hat. It’s purely out of laziness and a false sense of looking cool and in fashion… not! There is equally nothing cool about wearing your baseball cap backward… again especially indoors.
Except In Public Places: You may wear a hat indoors (yeh… even a baseball cap if you absolutely must) in public buildings, such as airports, public lobbies, and crowded public elevators. However, historically a gentleman will always remove his hat when a lady enters or is in the same elevator. We don’t see this much anymore. When in an apartment building, even though somewhat public, gentlemen will take off their hats while in the company of ladies… another dying art.
[SIDE BAR: A foreign visitor kept seeing Americans wearing their baseball caps indoors, and at times backward. He determined this style indicated a direct correlation to the wearer’s apparent I.Q (intelligence quotient). Wearing a baseball cap indoors meant an I.Q. was reduced by 50%. Wearing the cap backward meant an I.Q. was reduced by another 50%… so what’s left? These findings make total sense to me.]
During a Pledge or National Anthem: Another major peeve of mine is how men and women don’t take off their hats and caps during the playing of a national anthem. Regardless of which country’s anthem is played, hats must come off, period. Parents… please train your kids!
During a Prayer at a Ceremony or Event: Display your respect and take off your hat.
In Places of Worship: Some places of worship require head coverings for both men and women, such as Muslim mosques and Sikh temples. Do your research or ask someone before entering such places of worship. Women should always pack one large scarf and one long skirt when traveling internationally for such a need to cover their heads. I sure needed them in both Mexico and Greece.
At a Church: Historically churches required women to wear hats or scarves. Now, it is not as required. However, some churches encourage women to wear hats, and in some places, it has become quite a lovely display across the entire sanctuary. It is considered disrespectful for men to wear hats in a Christian church.
At a Jewish Synagogue or Temple: Men are required to cover their heads with a “yarmulke,” a small round skullcap, also called a “kippah,” meaning dome or cupola. There is great symbolism and deep meaning behind wearing a yarmulke. Observant men wear theirs during all waking hours, except when bathing and swimming. Doing so bears witness to their faith. It’s a constant reminder of their humility before God and strong belief in something greater than themselves.
How to Take off a Hat: When taking off your hat, hold it so only the outside of the hat shows, not the inside and lining. Hold it in your right hand across your chest and heart, or place it on your seat while standing tall and respectfully.
Exceptions
People in Uniform: People in the military, Boy Scouts, police, and people in other uniformed organizations keep their hats on during “full dress.” Many other interesting regulations about hat-wearing in the military exist, so hat etiquette is a required course in the military.
People with religious and medical requirements. In this instance, people will choose specific head coverings that may be worn anywhere, indoors and out.
Women’s Fashion Hats: Traditionally, women wearing fashion hats are not required to take them off when indoors. That said, unless they are small and tight around the head, they too should be removed when at a dining table. at a theatre, sporting event, or other places where they may hamper someone’s view or be disruptive to others. Large hats are generally for the outdoors, not indoors. Think hat civility!
Question of the month: Have you ever been the subject of or a witness to someone being disrespectful or rude by wearing their hat inappropriately? If so, I’d love to hear from you. Enter your comments and questions below for me to reply.
Happy Practicing!
I have an exception! I am very much in agreement with the rules of etiquette involving hats. I myself have worn hats most days of my life. However, my boyfriend has what’s called a Pseudo Cerebral Tumor, which presses on the optic nerve, making any bright light quite uncomfortable. As such, he has taken to wearing baseball style caps, as they successfully block light from his eyes, whereas sunglasses just dim it, making it difficult for him to see indoors. Short of wearing a sign around his neck that says he has a medical condition which warrants the wearing of said hat indoors, what do you all say to this scenario? Thank you for any input on this matter.
Scarlett: Yes, there are always exceptions to every rule in terms of wearing hats indoors. Also, I recognize people in general should not be so quick to prejudge something… as often happens. We no longer live in a predictable world. Exceptions are everywhere. What makes the difference is whether the exceptions are legitimate and for good reason. What I do know is through patience and kindness in not blowing up at such people who are perhaps judgmental of your friend wearing a heat indoors, this will go along way toward helping others to understand this unique situation. My best suggestion is to find a friend or milliner who can design and make nice hats that will serve your purpose and not look like a generic sports hats is my best recommendation to attract positive comments, versus negative criticisms. Good luck!
I’m an educator an I do teach my students hat etiquette in my classroom. As a rule I do not allow my students to wear beanies, cap or their sweatshirt’s hoods inside my classroom. Many of the parents have expressed their sentiments in a positive way towards this rule by saying that it was about time someone taught etiquette besides academics to their children. This has promoted in my students desired to learn more newer norms of etiquette; Etiquette for me has always been as much about my self respect as respect for others not a sign of snobbery or overdoing something. Besides it promotes healthy relationships of mutual respect between the boys and girls in my classroom.
I was so amused I forgot that the topic was hat wearing. Here is the way to judge any given situation. Look around you. See hats? yes? no? Do accordingly. Like I told my kids when they were playing under the clothes racks like kids will do in stores. “HEY! Do you see any other kids doing that? NO? Well KNOCK IT OFF! Grant it some time doing as you see others doing is going to get you in trouble. In Germany I saw a man peeing right out in front of everyone. He was next to a busy downtown street on a sidewalk and he peed right there in the gutter. Must have been drunk as a skunk. Anyhow it shows humility and selflessness to CARE ABOUT not offending others and to want to be curteous. Kudos to those with such civilty and manners. As for the younguns here with the lip and attitude. Looks to me like your mamas didn’t smack you on the back of the head often enough. “Stop figgiting and listen to the preacher son. God’s word will scare the heathen outta ya if ya let it.” Thanks mom and dad for my goodly smacks. Even this blue collar raised gal has an ounce of decorum for it.
i.e…. My mother in law thought Pres. Obama should NOT have bowed to the other politician in China. “He is the top leader of the free world and bows to know one”, she said. BUNK! He made a very polite shallow bow he didn’t crawl on his belly and kiss the guys toes. Its better to error on the side of curtesy I think. In asian culture one is curteous and bows to another in respect. Right? I come from redneck central and even I know you take off a baseball cap inside a building. A BBQ at a friends is hardly formal and beer and pizza at Joe’s house during a BB game isn’t either. NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT EXTREME CASUAL here. Yes wear a BB cap at Hooters while eatting wings. No do not wear a BB cap to dinner where table clothes and lining napkins are on the tables and a theres a maitre d’ in a suit and tie. Am I right? Just take a look around people and figure it out.
Dustin.
Really? You could wear a teenie tiny speedo to your church and not an eye brow would lift? WOW. I can not even fathom such a thing. I was raised that ladies wore MODEST dresses (below the knee and high in collar) to church and men wore at least dress slacks and a shirt minimum (and a tie and jacket if they could afford it). Sunday morning and evening service is a FORMAL occasion and so like a wedding or funeral. You wear your best “sunday going to meetin clothes”. In these modern progressive times the Ladies wear pants at my church today. And a man in the choir has very long dred locks. (This is points of individual doctrines of Biblical teachings and personal conviction of obedience in faith) But more important to the do’s n don’ts is that everyone is loving, respectful, and friendly. I must say I could not worship God if everyone was in swim suits all around me (bikinis, thongs, speedos, and trunks) which would be EXTREMELY distracting. It won’t kill you to show some reverence and respect and wear something nice. Worship isn’t about YOU its about reverence and respect to a HOLY and ALMIGHTY GOD. Was ya raised by feral wolves? A SPEEDO… aka a banana hammock. really?????? Are you a hippy? A ganster? What is this “church” you go to? Church of the holy weed and almighty crack pipe? Please share a link to this mythical church I do not believe you. Do you also go to work in a speedo because “its ok”? No? Church in a tiny tight speedo. Just shaking head. WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Linda and Dustin: To end this conversation I want to say that both of you are within reason. I’m a believer in all things should be acceptable if there is a reason for the behavior. For instance, if Dustin is stating a person wearing snorkeling gear to church would be accepted… Yes, absolutely. I doubt any church would turn someone away because of their attire. Perhaps it were a unique situation that caused that person to only have that to wear. What Linda is talking about is when people under regular situations—who could have a choice of wearing something nicer, don’t take the care to do it. Also, whatever a person chooses to wear as an under garment that no one sees is their own business and no one else.
I’m a college student and notice other guys wear their baseball caps, of various sorts, all the time. I used to remove mine when entering a classroom when I wore one, but now I usually just leave it on. It feels weird to be the only one de-hatting, kind of like I’m unnecessarily calling attention to the fact that I’m wearing a hat. Luckily the intense sunlight isn’t much of an issue for now so I don’t even wear one anymore since really, they aren’t particularly comfy anyway.
Dear Dan: I appreciate your submitting your comment. You are not alone in your thinking and actions. Yet this is exactly why I write these articles is to alert people to their behavior and how it may be perceived. In allowing yourself to go along with the crowd you are placing yourself and your image with the crowd. All it takes is one professor, one potential employer who does not appreciate the poor upbringing of wearing baseball hats indoors for no reason to have a not as positive image of you. Rather, so what if you stand out in a crowd and are different. You are different in a positive way, not negative way. To me, displaying appropriate behavior is all about displaying a great image and showing how well educated and “in the know” we are about such matters. If and when you do choose to wear a baseball hat, I truly hope you will continue to always take it off indoors in a classroom, at a restaurant, or at the movies. Wearing it while walking around in a Mall is fine.
These are all WONDERFUL stories especially Mr. Kevin. I think if i was in his presence i would have fell in love. WOW!!! Again its a wonderful thing to learn that our young men are learning etiquette. this way they know how to treat a lady or their young girlfriend, and they know how to handle themselves in different situation. Keep up the good work. 🙂
I directed my son to remove his baseball cap while we were having lunch at an outdoor patio restaurant. Weather and/or health was not an issue.
An interesting side story…
About 10 years ago there was a celebrity softball game at Denver Coors Field. My son, then 20 was working for the Rockies and had the unique privilege of being on the field with the players. He happened to sit and play near Garth Brooks. During an intermission many of the celebs went around the perimeter of the field to sign autographs. He was with Garth much of the time and was blown away when Garth would sign signed something for a women. He would remove his hat and and INTRODUCE Himself. My son was not a country music fan at all but came home to tell the story and simply said that this guy was a CLASS ACT! Sure, it’s just a piece of clothing but sometime I think we are continually lowering the bar out of laziness!
Dear Kevin: I love hearing stories like this… Thank you for sharing and let’s hope society doesn’t t continue “lowering the bar” any further.
http://www.ravistailor.com/customtailor/Men_And_The_Etiquette_Of_Wearing_Hats.htm
Found this interesting.
Etiquette today is almost unexpected.. the sign I believe of a different time.
Etiquette for me has always been as much about my self respect as respect for others. I live over seas and have for many years, when I returned for an extended stay in Houston, many in my office glanced askew at me when I opened and held doors for ladies, Stood when they joined me at the table at restaurants or entered my office… and yet EVERY ONE of them smiled and said thankyou… Hey I am back home over seas, where I live, but I know I left an impression with many.. I was in Houston 3 years and remained consistent in my politeness . I think it is a good thing..
Dear Garvin: Thank you for writing. It is obvious your parents and others helped you see the merits of politeness. As much as etiquette may not be expected, I suppose it does make it that much more appreciated when it is displayed. I applaud you for your good sense and discipline in sticking to doing what’s right and not allowing yourself to “follow the crowd.” If you would like to receive other etiquette tips each month, we invite you (and anyone else reading) to receive a complimentary subscription to our “Etiquette Tip of the Month” newsletter at http://www.AdvancedEtiquette.com/blog. At the upper right corner, enter your name and email address. We promise never to give away or sell your information.
Ladies do not remove hats (except baseball caps) during the National Anthem.
Dear Mitzy: Glad we agree on the baseball cap removal. Historically you were correct, because women only wore specialty hats. Nowadays with women wearing a variety of hats—many of which are like men’s hats—the opposite holds true. There are only a few women’s “decorative” hats that do not need to be removed during a national anthem. That said, most hats whether worn by men or women are to be removed during national anthems and other respectful situations.
Sorry it’s just that I have a different opinion and it isn’t going to change… The church I go to you could show up with a speedo and snorkeling mask and you would still be welcome. Go figure… It’s one of those churches with a lot of young people.
Dear Mr. Dustin, Yes alot of women have careers now, but i gues that’s okay if you allow them to use that as a response not to cook for you. and you are right it is your opinion. I have a career and come home and cook for my loved ones, my mom did it, and my grandma did it. I am very happy you DO NOT have your lady friend, woman, or wife with a career this way she can stay home and be the loving woman and take care of the household. that is WONDERFUL! If you are in a church and a man has a hat on well you dont have to worry about having it on b’cause someone (another man) will tell him to remove it. Just out of respect to Gods’ house. Also, to each his own. It might sound trivia to you, but to some of us Ol’ fashioned gals IT IS NOT.
Hey for the record when you visit a young ladys’ home do yu call b’fore yougo to ask if she want anything? LOL
Only bad things happen when someone takes their hat off, like you being born unintentionally because your dad took off his jimmy hat
Dear Ti: As you know we aren’t really talking about that kind of hat. I approved your post because I did get a laugh from it.
Is it proper to wear a hat while dining outside when the sun is not a factor?
Dear Martin: Yes, it is absolutely fine and encouraged to wear hats while dining outdoors. Ever more so now with all the UV alerts. On the flip side, most instances hats are not invented or designed to be worn indoors which is my point.
Girls don’t cook and clean as much because they all have careers now. My mom hasn’t worked since she was about 22 and she is now 58… There isn’t as many stay at home wives as there use to be. I treat my ladies with all the respect in the world… But chivalry isn’t what it use to be. I would definitely remove my hat if my grandma or someone old fashioned cooked me dinner. But in today’s society, any of my “young couple” friends with new born children and a fresh marriage wouldn’t care if I wore a hat or not… At this point the world is going through a major shift and the economy is in a crisis… I understand etiquette is important in some
Ways but people on here sound down-right upset and heated over how complete strangers wear their hat… I think people go over board. Even in a church if someone I don’t know is wearing a hat, it doesn’t bother me at all… It’s just an article of clothing… In the grand scheme of life it means absolutely nothing to have a piece of cloth on your head and it by no means is a reason to be offended or upset… Just my opinion.
You know you are correct we are a dying breed. thats why your young men have no respect for people, especially the girls; and its hard to get a girl to act like a lady if her boy cannot act like a man themselves. you men dont teach the boys anything so they dont learn any thing.so why should we act like a lady and do things for them- cook, clean, wash, iron and respect them for being the GENTLE-MAN in their life. try being one and yur girl wont curse you out in the street.LOL THINK ABOUT IT
It irritates me that you guys are so concerned about something so trivial… Are you all walking on egg shells? I’m glad that this troupe of hat etiquette snobs are a dying breed.
Dear Dustin: It must be noted that hat etiquette is not trivial and not meant to snobbery. All etiquette is meant to help people know what to do in various situations that will help everyone feel more comfortable. It’s all about respectful to others in certain ways, in various cultures. It’s meant to show your (“you guys”) level of education, consideration, and respect. Grant you everything in life can be “over done” and become “snobbery.” Yet, the purpose of this blog is to simply get people to know what to do and think a little bit more “outside of themselves” when out and about in society.
I wear hat indoors and it definitely doesn’t conform to your notions of education I might have. What ridiculousness.
Ryan: Thanks for your comment.
The point of the article is not to say 100% it’s wrong to wear a hat indoors. The point to keep in mind is where you are wearing it and how well you are respecting the environment in which you are wearing a hat. Wearing a hat in a mall or other indoor public facility is fine. To wear it in a person’s home, in a restaurant, or at a wedding is not. Happy Practicing!
THANK ….YOU! a lot of men should read these articles. I was dating an older man 55yrs. and he had a hard time remembering to take his hat off IN MY HOME; in restaurants as well. when i would speak on it; his response was no one else took their hat off, but you know how i feel about men wearing hat indoors. needless to say i stop dating him. It shows he had no respect for me, my home nor what i represented. which means he’s about himself and not others. If he cannot do something as small as that what i ask of him. what else would he not do for me? Don’t want to find out. KEEP IN MIND LADIES. Besides i DO NOT ALLOW MY SONS AND THEIR FRIENDS TO WEAR THEIR HATS IN MY HOME. their ages 17 and 20yrs. So this would definitely send a mixed msg. I DON’T THINK SO!
I admit it. I’m old – AND old fashioned. It irritates me when boy scouts (AND their leaders!) wear hats inside my school. They insist that they wear their entire uniform inside and that my etiquette is outdated.
You might want to double check your military references. I found this link to a DOD pdf that says that military members are uncovered indoors: http://www.globalsecurity.org/military/library/report/2005/050315-bdu_standards.pdf
Good manners may never go out of style, but it’s getting more difficult to find them, I think…
Err ok. Unfortunately some things do change. Shocker, women can wear pants now did ya know? Just because *you* think something should be a set rule, doesn’t mean you should stick your nose up at others who may not. I think it is common knowledge for certain things as not in church.. but when you start getting down to certain time frames and being THAT nit picky…. good lord. Next time I see a little boy with a cap on in a grocery store I’ll make sure to run up and point like they have leprosy and say ‘now you are going to grow up to be a poor quality individual just because of your cap.’
“I hope this clarifies your daughter’s confusion. Good luck!”
What if the lunch lady still feels hurt and offended by Deb’s daughter wearing a fashion hat indoors at a school where the teachers feel hurt and offended by boys wearing baseball caps indoors? How much should Deb’s daughter take the lunch lady’s feelings into account when getting dressed to go to school?
For that matter, what about people who feel hurt and offended by seeing women and girls wearing hijab, who feel hurt and offended by seeing Jewish men and boys wearing yarmulkes, and/or who feel hurt and offended by seeing Sikh men and boys wearing turbans? How much should Muslims, Jews, and Sikhs take their feelings into account when getting dressed to go out in public?
Meanwhile, Alex, thank you very much for going into detail about how these rules were made! I have seen teachers tell my classmates that wearing a baseball cap in class was disrespectful and, when asked why, refusing to give *any* answer instead of *teaching* us.
I find this whole hat etiquette very fasinating. I like the olden time fashions associated with hat wearing and I believe that if you are male and intending to wear a hat that this etiquette should be followed.
It was only today that I saw a man (about 50 ish) wearing a really cool navy blue fedora talking to an older lady and he hadn’t the decency to remove his hat. This infuriated me as 1. He was talking to a lady in the street. 2. She was obviously older (70ish). Both of these people would have had enough knowledge to know about hat etiquette.
1 thing that is confusing with modern day society os the removal of hats indoors. Sya you’re in Starbucks ordering a coffee to go… Should your hat be doff’d on entering the premises then don’d when leaving? simularly when at McDonald’s… would you doff your hat when entering or just when you sat down and began to eat?
What are the rules for young boys wearing a fedora or golf hat indoors?
Thank you.
JP
Dear JP: The rules for young boys are no different than men. Both are not allowed to wear a fedora or golf hat indoors. Young boys learn their good manners when young to build good habits when an adult.
I appreciate that you recognize that wearing hats indoors for one’s religious reasons is acceptable.
I believe that the breach of etiquette in embarrassing a host or making others feel slighted is far worse than the breach of etiquette some regard the wearing of a hat indoors.
Wikipedia summed up the tradition best when they said that removing one’s headgear is a sign of humility and respect derived from Christian teaching and tradition, whereas the wearing of headgear is a sign of humility and respect derived from Jewish teaching and tradition.
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In the Western culture derived from Christian tradition, removing one’s headgear is a sign of respect, making oneself more open, humble or vulnerable, much like bowing or kneeling. This is as if to say, “I acknowledge that you are more powerful than I am, I make myself vulnerable to show I pose no threat to you and respect you.” Men’s hats are removed in Church, and not removing them is usually frowned upon. Women, however, are required to wear a hat to cover the head in some churches based on 1 Corinthians 11:5.
In the Jewish tradition, the converse idea equally shows respect for the superior authority of God. Wearing a kippah or yarmulke means the wearer is acknowledging the vast gulf of power, wisdom, and authority that separates God from mankind. It is a sign of humility to wear a yarmulke. There is a common phrase that explains this, saying that “there’s always something above you” if you’re wearing a yarmulke, helping you remember you’re human and God is infinite. A Talmudic quote speaks of a righteous man who would “not walk (six feet) with an uncovered head, the (spirit of God) is always above him”. Jews also may wear a fur hat or a black hat with a brim.
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I think it is important to recognize that while most Americans may be Christians, there is a small but equally patriotic segment of society that lives life according to Jewish rather than Christian teachings and traditions. I believe that as society becomes more enlightened, attempts will be made to bridge the gap and blend etiquette & traditions to create an environment of inclusion rather than exclusion.
I would like to add a small correction to the Wikipedia quote above: Any head covering is acceptable to observant Jews (not just kippas, brimmed black hats or fur hats). Technically even a wig or hairpiece qualifies as covering one’s head (but then we get into that pesky problem again of how it looks to others and the risk of leading someone else astray when they believe the wig is actually an uncovered head).
For me, wearing a baseball cap is a way of blending in. As an orthodox Jew, I always keep my head covered… but there are situations where wearing a kippah (yarmulke) would be inappropriate. When my company has an employee meeting with a catered meal, or when I meet someone in a restaurant for business, I have several choices:
1. refuse to attend the meeting, alienating me from my coworkers or business clients;
2. wear my kippah, and giving a passing Jew the impression that the location must be kosher because he saw me there (truly a big deal in Judaism, one can atone for the sins they commit themselves, but cannot atone for the sins they caused someone else to commit, especially if they didn’t know about them);
3. wear a baseball cap (which I find very uncomfortable) or other “neutral” head covering and sit in the restaurant and drink a Coke and eat something that hasn’t been cooked or cut (whole fruit, as an example).
I choose the 3rd option, as it doesn’t embarrass my guest or host, and it doesn’t make me stand out or feel excluded from the group.
Believe it or not, even in this day of enlightenment, we are treated differently by the public if we wear a kippah than we are if we wear a baseball cap. My son and I have begun wearing baseball caps on airplanes and to sporting events because it got lonely– we both notice a big difference in the length and friendliness of conversations when we “blend in”.
Alex: I appreciate your submission to this blog. Thank you. I understand your sensitivity to various situations and to certain people in society. Yet you said it yourself, people are getting more enlightened as each day passes. You must not give up in being a positive witness to your faith wherever you are. It is a part of your chosen path.
Bottom-line: I believe wearing any hat indoors—other than one for medical or religious reasons and a woman’s fashion hat during the daytime— is inappropriate. Baseball caps are definitely 100% wrong… especially in business.
There is more I would enjoy sharing about this, yet would be difficult to put into writing on this blog. I’d be pleased to have you call me by telephone to chat further about this… assuming you are in the U.S. If not, send me your telephone number and I’ll be happy to call you… any where in the world. Good luck!
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It’s refreshing to find a website like this today while most of our “society” has lost the basic concepts of manners, politeness & generally how to comport oneself around others. I would say I find it hard to believe that people claim both ignorance about this practice & outrage at being expected to remove their hats indoors, but sadly today I’m not surprised.
I guess people today think that eschewing such “dated” practices somehow makes them more of an “individual” rather than a “conformist”. Well it seems these days, practicing these supposedly dated notions makes me the individual instead. I am the new counter-culture.
Quit being hat nazis! Just consider the atmosphere you’re in first. Probably not acceptable at a fancy restaurant or at somebody’s house, who is old-fashioned. Otherwise, who cares! The hat is merely another article of clothing.
I agree with Ben. I never wear any type of hats, ever…. But my uncle is a very southern gent and he wears his so much I think the skin on his head is in the shape of a hat. I have only seen him remove it at churches, funerals, weddings, etc… Restaurants? Indoors? At the dinner table? Who cares. It’s your selfishness and YOUR problem if it bothers you. What about the person wearing the hat? I know for a fact my uncle absolutely finds it loathsome to e without his hat. If there was a meter on how bothersome it was to people around him, the way it makes him feel would be insurmountable compared to yours. Let the country man keep his hat on. Don’t you care about what makes your guest happy??? I felt the same way a Ben, it sounds like you all have your nose in the air.
Just my two cents — I think of the wearing an outdoor hat at the table to be like wearing your overcoat/outerwear. It makes me uncomfortable to see my kids at the table with their winter coat on — I keep thinking they just want to get the meal overwith and get back outside.
I always thought women should not wear hats after 6pm. You never see the Queen wear a hat in the evening?
Wearing a hat inside is neither disrespectful or lacking of intelligence. Anyone who believes this to be true must have had that ignorance drilled into them as a child. It’s purely based on opinion not reason. Mind your own damn business in public. It’s far more disrespectful to embarrass someone who is wearing a hat by asking them to take it off. They are wearing it for a reason, albeit their own. Again, it’s none of your business.
Tradition only means something if their is a good reason for it. In this case, there is not.
Dear M: You hit the nail on the head when you stated people do things for “their own reasons” and in so doing they are being selfish and perhaps disrespectful and inappropriate to others. Time honored guidelines were and are established for a reason. Perhaps it is best to always investigate why you might do something a certain way fully before taking action on your own without regard for others. This is what etiquette is all about. Being sensitive to how your actions affect others and the environment in which you are experiencing.
Everyone has their own reasons though, I happen to have horrible scaring on my forehead so wearing a hat keep me from having to deal with the embarrassment of questions and stares. Personally, it’s more embarrassing to not wear a hat even if it’s going to ruffle some feathers, which makes me wonder, why does it do that anyways? Why is it anyone’s business? Should I be shamed for hiding what’s going to ultimately make me embarrassed anyways?
Hello K: The purpose of the post was to have the reader become more mindful of what types of hats are worn, where, and how. A person who chooses to wear a hate indoors is fine, as long as it an appropriate one. Thank you for writing.
Why is it disrespectful to wear a hat?
Ryan: It’s not disrespectful to wear in front of others in many situations. I appreciate the question from the perspective on learning ‘when’ it is the right time or wrong time that becomes disrespectful… such as in a church, in another person’s home, in a restaurant. Happy Practicing!
THANK YOU, BEN!!!!!!! I agree totally with you. I had never even heard of the whole “disrespectful to wear a hat at the dinner table” thing until a few years ago (and I’m 43…not a youngen) and thought it was the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. I think it is a very old fashioned etiquette rule not present so much in the 20th century and people should not be looked down upon for not following it. Not putting your feet on the table, yes, that would be rude and disrespectful, but wearing a hat? Then where do you stop? Why don’t people take off their hairpieces and hairclips, etc….then too? A hat is simply a part of your apparel, nothing more.
Dear Jennifer: Being of a certain age and not hearing or learning something does not mean something doesn’t exist. With the world in which we live becoming more diverse and ever changing, there are guidelines that have changed over the years as new situations are invented. For men it has never been appropriate to leave their cowboy hats, fedora hats, or even baseball caps on at the dining table. For those households that did allow this… then that’s where it stands… you were allowed, but it doesn’t make it overall best. Yes, historically Women were allowed to keep their “decorative” hats on at a dining table, because it was part of their apparel… before they ever wore caps and other outdoor type hats. Again, outdoor hats were never allowed to be worn at the dining table in any culture or country. The truth lies in common sense… there is no purpose to wearing an outdoor hat at the dining table when you are indoors. Therefore, it becomes “civility” not to wear one which leads to it becoming etiquette. If outdoors, again common sense tells you to keep your hat on to shade the sun.
Interesting! Just today my 8-yr-old daughter wore what is obviously a girl’s fashion hat to school. It even matched her outfit! She was so excited to wear it! She kept it on all morning without incident. Then lunchtime came. One of the lunch room aides told her in a rather nasty voice (the only kind of voice they have, I believe) to take it off. Poor girl was afraid to put it back on for the rest of the day! Earlier in the year she wore a beret to school. When she arrived she asked if it was okay to keep it on (she knew that boys had to take off their baseball caps). She was told then that girls are allowed to wear hats indoors. So now she’s decided that the “rules” must have changed and is afraid to wear a hat to school for fear that she will “get yelled at” again. Gee, thanks a lot “lunch room lady”.
Dear Deb: I recognize etiquette can be most confusing at times. Etiquette does evolve over time, to the point when certain guidelines were popularized, women did not wear certain types of hats, such as baseball hats. The only kinds of hats they wore were the decorative types that did complement their day or evening outfits. Now, women wear all sorts of hats and in so doing the rules are slightly different. My belief is whether a man or woman, wearing certain hats is inappropriate indoors. The ultimate difference is women are allowed to get away with wearing a few more types indoors that men are not. Any hat worn by men must be taken off indoors… except when in uniform. I hope this clarifies your daughter’s confusion. Good luck!
How can I say this nicely without yelling it in all caps…what century are you from?, and what part of western civilization do you live in? You clearly have a myopic and up turned nose vantage point in regard to wearing baseball hats in all encompassing arenas just because you, a self-important, hoity-toity blatherer(along with your followers unfortunately), deem it proper. First off, it is perfectly acceptable to wear a baseball hat in a restaurant, it just depends, casual upscale and beyond would lead to the chagrin of the other patrons in addition to the people at your table, however, there are a ton a of casual restaurants where it’s more than acceptable to wear a cap, even shorts, the ambiance for such establishments encourage a loose style.
in someone’s home is not up to you Syndi, it’s up to whomever’s home you are invited into, shockingly there are tons of folks who don’t care about that and actually want you to feel “at home” and welcome while you visit.
In regards to church, that all depends, most would think one would want to fit in with their garb and not offend, even though that is utterly superficial in nature, and defies the heart and purpose of even belonging to a community or congregation. Some churches have historical and traditional practices, but you are way off when it comes to the modern christian church, what you wear is what you wear, period, unless it’s bikini, your good, and clearly you haven’t been to a community that has several collegiate students,by the way which leads me to wonder how you could even think of putting the classroom in that collection of venues. In high school and college especially, it’s more than acceptable to wear a baseball cap in class, I’ve never, ever seen or heard of that being an issue, especially at the college level where you are paying for your classes, yeah, you can wear whatever you want unless it leads toward the denigration of the class, and a baseball would not do that.
Museum, don’t be so general, especially since you are offering your opinion as gospel, it would be nice if you clarified. There’s a difference between The Getty or Guggenheim and some of the Smithsonian institutions, let alone the numerous collegiate museums of the several life sciences where the cost is much less and the atmosphere is not as pretentious.
a movie theatre, seriously?, to that, i just have to ask what planet are you from? or do you only go to tiny art house film houses with two screens that are less than the size of some people’s flat screens in their homes.
As far as the places I didn’t point out, it doesn’t take an “etiquette guru” to know you don’t where baseball hats to those places, but to include them all in the same sentence is just plain obtuse, and a complete lack of observation on your part, it’s sad that there’s enough people that agree with you, that you will keep on believing that you are onto something.
THANK YOU BEN!!! I’m a twenty-one year old woman who happens to have a very extensive collection of flat bill hats and beanies and such. I love matching which ones will go with what I’m wearing and picking out one thats big in pop culture makes it fun because people will always come up to me to talk to me about how much they love my hat and whatever it’s referencing (Star Wars, TV shows, or just a lot of crazy looking colorful squiggles). I had this link sent to me by my mother who thinks it’s highly offensive for me to wear my hat in church, not to mention that my churches culture is mostly dominated by people in my generation. The foul looks I get from the occasional elderly lady are apparently enough to take away from the only form of fashion I’m even interested in. What I wonder is why is something so superficial so important that they want to make me uncomfortable in my place of worship?
I would like to explain to all of you that men’s hat rules and women’s hat rules are different.
After a cosmetic procedure (about 10 years ago, to remove wrinkles) my doctor recommended that I wear a sunhat to prevent brown spots from developing on my face. This led me to my current hat-fetish and I almost never leave the house without a hat…rain or shine…or anything in between, so I’ve checked out the rules….even though (in reality) I’m a defiant rule breaker.
A woman is absolutely allowed to wear a small-brimmed hat at a dinner function or at a restaurant. In general, a woman would not wear a large brimmed hat after sundown because she would not need to protect her face from the sun.
Women do NOT need to remove feminine-style hats for any national anthem. However, when I was in Australia, a tour docent for their Aussie war memorial shrine (wrongly) asked me to take off my hat during a taped recording of their national anthem. So, even though I looked awful with my messed up hair, I did take my hat off. Should I argue with him about propriety at a war memorial?
Anyway, I’m a writer, as well as a hat fiend. If my website address doesn’t show up, one of my hat articles is called, “How to Wear a Hat – Women’s Hat Etiquette at Restaurants & Parties” in case you would like more info. And, the bottom of my hat article links back here in the “sources” section.
As for the rest of this article, it rocks! Hats are fabulous fun. Everything else in “The Etiquette of Wearing a Hat” is great. Baseball caps should be banned for men over 30 unless those guys are wearing mitts or have bats in their hands. Get your man a cool driving cap, cowboy hat, rain hat, French beret, or anything else!
So to me, it seems there are a huge number of rules regarding when it is or is not appropriate to remove a cap (especially the inconsistencies with men vs. women wearing hats).
We live in the 21st century. Most ‘cap ettequite’ concepts were popularized well before the current age we live in and in some cases in another region than we grew up in (Re: southern woman with Ohio born husband). Now, what strikes me as odd, is why there are so many seemingly contradictory rules within these ettequite guidelines. It’s as though this was written in the 1950’s and simply transcribed with modern text to fit in the proper context (and no doubt written by a woman).
I ask the same as only one of the replies above. Why so many gender based inconsistencies? Women seem to be able to wear hats at almost any hour, in any context that they want, as long as the hat is appropriate for the situation (fashion hats during meals, worship services, etc), while men in almost every situation should remove their hats (with the exceptions of yamacas and other spiritual headwear during worship).
Why can’t we ALL remove our hats for EVERY situation listed? I mean honestly, doesn’t it seem silly and hypocritical to be complaining so much about the appropriateness of men’s headwear in social context and to turn around and say it’s more or less OK for women to wear headwear in the same social contexts?
Any thoughts?
Dear Johnny Ray: I agree with you. I think men and women should take hats off equally.
Great job on the blog, it looks outstanding. I am going to save it and will make sure to check weekly
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TayRiley: I have to say, even as a guy who wears ball caps and other head gear routinely, a nightclub may not be the best place to wear one IF you are trying to attract someone of the opposite sex.
On the other hand; if someone wants to be left alone by the opposite sex it sounds, by your comments, that it’s a great idea! Wear a hat and be left alone if that’s what your thing is. I’m going to have to remember this trick. Sometimes I like to just people watch and what better way to be left alone and look incognito!!
This subject has me intrigued I must admit.
ugh, met a guy at a nightclub last night and he was otherwise very nice. HOWEVER, he was wearing a baseball cap the entire time…and that is what is keeping me from calling him today. i feel like guys that wear caps are hiding something; not just physically (like balding or an ugly face) but psychologically they are blocking themselves off…and i never want to find out if what they are hiding is bad or not..i just get the hell away.
As a biker I wear the head gear commonly referred to as a skull cap or doo rag. It’s basically a headband with a top on it. I think it is treated the same way a woman’s scarf would be treated during a party or a quick prayer before going on a motorcycle ride. So the guy’s head gear, unless it’s a hat, doesn’t need to be removed during these casual events. Bikers tend to have their own set of rules in general but I’m very curious about how you all feel about it.
What say you?
Regarding skull caps, motorcycle helmets, and other head gear, I tend to agree that it does not need to be removed during an outdoor prayer at an event related to that sport. Beyond this, if you are indoors or—for instance—a baseball game during a national anthem, then the same rules applies with taking off your hat. What amazes me is why people keep trying to find “a way out” for doing something that should be no big deal… to take your hat off for just a few minutes out of courtesy and respect. Why is this so difficult to handle? The answer in my opinion is pure and simple “laziness.” Thank you for the comment and conversation.
I have alopecia, a genetic condition that means that I have bald spots scattered around my head and no eyebrows. I wear a skull cap in an attempt to avoid having to discuss my individual circumstances with each of the 7 billion other people on this planet. I find it entirely offensive that I should have to remove my cap anywhere for any reason that is not of my own choosing. I personally abhor anyone and everyone who imagines that I am offending them by attempting to be more comfortable in my own body. Who are any of you to tell me how to dress? What am I doing to offend you all exactly? Every day I have to drag a razor over my scalp so that the patches of hair and the bald spots at least look even for a few hours until the hair becomes noticeable again. Ultimately, its none of your business what I am wearing or why, so leave me in peace!
Tom,
Couldn’t agree with you more. Thanks for voicing the other side of the argument, that it’s no one else’s bleeping business what another individual does, as long as they’re not personally impacting or violating them in some way. It’s called freedom of expression, people. This world needs to learn to be more tolerant of others and not so goddamed offended at everything that doesn’t fit into their narrow, pathetic definition of what’s acceptable or not.
Nope, with all do respect Gary. Tom asked a question and it was pretty much skimmed over. If its just respect and universal etiquette, where is his answer? Earlier post says it dont matter if your this and that (balding etc..) Answer Toms question please. Thank you.
I have the same problem, and I use a wig.
Mr Tom, I am very sorry to learn about your particular situation and truly wish you the best. A late, dear, uncle of mine (rest in peace) had a very similar problem and he found a very clever way to deal with it. He wore a skull cap made of a light material underneath a regular sports cap which made him (completely) free to keep the skull cap on after he had removed the outer hat because, not only it showed others that he respected them but also (implicitly) it would let them know there was also (some) especial/particular reason for him to keep his head covered; and (although he was just as honest and unashamed of having issues that proved him to be as Human as everyone else is, as you are) no-one ever dared to ask him what the reason was. The reason why it is customary to remove one’s hat indoors (especially when visiting someone’s home and/or having a meal) is this: When one is welcomed under someone else’s roof, the good, traditional, warm sense of hospitality is (usually) being granted to one and it is (implicitly) a bit insulting to keep one’s head covered as if to say that one does not respect the protection from the (outdoor, natural) elements being provided by the (however humble) roof of one’s guest(s) and/or that one does not mean to stay in that place for, one single, solitary, second longer than the absolutely necessary amount of time it may take to do whatever one went there to do. Obviuosly one should also never insult one’s guest (or anyone else) be openly and blatantly reproaching them (especially in public) so when any of my friends happens to pop by my (very poor but clean and honest) house wearing a hat and forgets to take it off, all I do is point out the hanger nearby the door and say something like: “There is the hanger, if you’d like to rest you hat?” or “Would you like for me to rest your hat there?” so far no-one (including my late uncle) has ever refused this invitation but, if they had shown any signs of not agreeing with me, I would (obviously) not insist upon the matter any more. Again, I wish you the best.
It is not pure and simple. Some have legit reasons. If these reasons are not apparent to you, it is your issue, not theirs.
The lowest form of etiquette is to correct anybody publicly, be they kith, kin or unknown.
Why are you amazed? Shouldn’tit be “no big deal” to leave a hat on? This arbitrary rule is absurd. I could see taking a sombrero off because it could get in the way but anything else is absurd.
Ryan:
I relate to why you think it is absurd to think wearing a hat in various situations is wrong or inappropriate. It all stems from being aware and sensitive to time-honored traditions within various cultures that make the difference. It is a big deal when a person wears certain forms of hats at a wedding (i.e. fedora, or baseball cap). Most hats were invented for outdoor use to shade the sun. They have no place in being worn at certain indoor events when it’s unnecessary to have that hat on. It’s all about taking time to be aware of what’s appropriate and what’s not in society. I hope this helps, and thanks again for writing. It shows you care about learning what’s the right thing to do. Happy Practicing!
My daughter loves your post!She and I have the same interest b the way. 🙂
Elicia, great to have you and your daughter viewing our blogs. We’d love to have you as a regular subscriber. Do sign up!
I am from the south and have been raised with the understanding that men do not wear hats inside the house, at the dinner table nor at church. While my husband, who was raised in Ohio, agrees about not wearing at church, he thinks I am being ridiculous about asking him to remove his hat when we are having a meal together. He said he had never heard of that. It is refreshing to read on this website what I have always been taught concerning hat etiquette. Thank you.
Connie, bravo! Keep up the good work with not allowing your husband to wear a hat while you are having a meal together. Unless you are outdoors, I see no purpose to anyone wearing a hat indoors during a meal… except if you are a woman wearing a small chapeau though a luncheon or afternoon tea.
Hi,this is Jamison Charlton,just discovered your Blog on google and i must say this blog is great.may I share some of the article found in the blog to my local friends?i am not sure and what you think?in either case,Thanks!
Anyone wishing to share our blog is most welcome. We welcome the promotion!
Where does one place one’s hat when seated at a table in a restaurant?
Dear Alma:
Good question. The answer in general is not on the dining table. Beyond this it is up to you where you choose to place your hat, including on the chair next to you, on your chairback, on your lap, or on top of or in your backpack or briefcase… perhaps even having it checked with coat check. It is tough, but it cannot be on the table or on your head. If anyone has any other “good” ideas, do share! Good luck.
Syndi,
I appreciate how you have addressed this sartorial issue. Wearing the baseball cap everywhere has been a pet peave of mine for some time. I will share your article on my facebook and twitter pages.
Karen Hickman
Karen: Please share away! Thank you! I appreciate your taking time to write and to share this important information. Let’s just hope it makes a difference to even one reader in this entire planet.
Lol.. Of course. I had a feeling that might be interpreted, er, differently. However, I strive for providing the appropriate etiquette entertainment.
Something I always try to remember is when greeting people in public outside that I remove my hat during the greeting, regardless of sex. Also, and I know it always bugged you – if I wear it in the office I always removed it when a visitor walked in, even delivery.
Dave, great to hear from you. I’m truly glad to hear you do take your hat off… “regardless of sex.” Most people would agree it is poor manners to keep your hat on during sex. Nevertheless, in the context you were writing I think the correct meaning you wanted to convey was that you always take off your hat “regardless of gender.” Glad to know you will be doing it right in both instances. Have a great weekend!
786 Actually, he was correct. “Gender” is specifically a term used for grammar; “sex” is the proper noun to use for the actual, well, sex of a person or animal. It has become fashionable in recent decades for people to use the former word when they really mean the latter: this does not, however, make Dave’s use of the noun “sex” incorrect.
According to Joe Cocker, it’s okay to leave your hat on during sex.
I have no strong opinion one way or the other.
Hi Syndi,
I always learn something from your tips! Thanks!
I thought there was an etiquette rule that women should not wear a hat after 5 PM – I suppose that means in the evening. You didn’t mention this “rule.” Am I misinformed?
Also, I heard a couple years ago (but I can’t quote the source) that women did not have to remove their hats for the national anthem, such as at a sporting event. Perhaps that falls under your “Women’s Fashion Hats” category. But I’ll remove mine at the ball game from now on anyway.
Claire Koenig
Claire: Rules change over time. What may have been proper in times past may or may not be accurate in the 21st century. The trend in today’s etiquette is to have guidelines that are overall universal to both men and woman. Historically women never wore hats designed for men… such as a fedora or baseball cap. Today both men and women wear the same type hats. You are correct when a woman is wearing a hat that was fashioned for women only, she does not have to remove her hat during a national anthem… as in the case of Aretha Franklin during the inauguration of President Obama. Yet, bottom-line is… why all this fuss? Why can’t everyone (civilians) simply take off their hats—no matter what—as a sign of respect? The trend as I see it is toward “The K.I.S.S. method”… (Keep It Simple… well, you know). Hope this helps. Thanks for writing.
The only thing with wearing fashion hats is hat hair. My rule is…once a hat’s on for an event, it’s on for the day.
I was recently at my brother-in-law’s funeral and saw many men there wearing their hat in the church.
Last week, I went to a winemaker’s dinner where a young man asked to join the table with his baseball hat still on his head. My freind said ” Yes, take off your hat.” He did and we had a wonderful time.
Marti, bravo to your friend for asking the person to remove his hat before taking a seat at the dining table. I wish more people would say something to these obviously clueless offenders. This is truly among my very top pet peeves whenever I see it happening in restaurants. I’ve often threatened to walk around the restaurant to alert the offenders.
I have been wearing baseball cap for 7years day ,everybody, anytime and anywhere…it's just my thing. There is nothing wrong
Joe: Absolutely, there is nothing wrong with wearing a baseball cap 24/7 if a person chooses. The point of the article was to point out being mindful and respectful of situations where it is best to take it off your hat… i.e. during the singing of a national anthem, through an indoor funeral service, or wedding, etc. Thanks for the comment.
It's just WASPy… and outdated. The IQ thing was a bad joke. So much for real manners.
Anna: I admit the IQ joke is a bad one. I thought to delete it, yet I appreciate everyone seeing it and commenting on it. Thank uou!
Thank you for writing this much needed article.
Unfortunately, many people are more concerned with being comfortable and casual – than being respectful and polite.
That takes a lot of nerve to think you Havre the right to tell somebody to take off their hat. How disrespectful your friend behaved. Unbelievable.
No, he asked if he could sit down, and that was OK provided he took of his hat. He was not told, but asked to remove his hat, and then he was invited to join.
Syndi,
Please remind gentlemen that a baseball cap, when it comes off, should NEVER be placed on a dining table. I have seen people do this in restaurants. Who wants to sit near their smelly, sweaty hat/
Michele Patrick
Michele, you are absolutely correct about never placing baseball caps on the dining table. This is also true for women’s purses and most importantly cell phones! Thanks for writing.
Syndi,
Where is your proof that people who wear hats have a lower I.Q. You say you’re about respect, but that is an absurd accusation to hold on someone. I personally don’t wear hats, but it is unacceptable to call someone out for such a medieval practice. Hat doffing is out dated and absolutely ridiculous.
Spencer Blair
Hello Spencer: If I didn’t make myself clear… the comment about IQ was a joke.
Hey Syndi Seed, uh no.
You see, a joke is funny, what you did is called beating a dead horse.
Surprisingly, the all female hat task force, somehow forgot about PETA and the Equine Union.
I find that women who talk about gentlemen this gentlemen that rarely look lady like. They also come in these scary Tim Burton monster like shapes were their stomach is a third shape or growth/ tumor under their waist band. Most of them have their fathers face with their mothers body. Unfortunately, Some of them don't even get their mothers body.
Its funny that The woman who talks about I.Q. Has let her entire life has amount to a Try hard, over zealous "Etiquette" website. filled with Women that honestly have NFL Linemen Bodies. And wear their grandmother's wardrobe. You were born in the 70's stop dressing like you lived through the depression you dusty yeasty woman.
I totally agree. I'm bald and wear a hat to keep my head worm
That is because this is ridiculous and outdated, there is no modern reason to take off your hat ever. This is an arbitrary rule/recommendation . If you are offended because somebody is wearing a hat you need a lobotomy. Keeping your hat off of the table is just another reason to keep it on your head.
My daughter has a wonderful boy friend who is educated, kind and handsome. He wears his baseball
cap( no he isn’t a pro baseball player) indoors and even at the dining table. I told my daughter that was improper and actually rude. Of course she called me the “b” word. I even told her that those caps were invented to keep the sun out of ballplayers eyes so we’re completely unnecessary in a building. She won’t say any thing to him about it , so I asked if I could send him a gentle email. To me, it shows an ignorance of polite social norms and , frankly, in my opinion makes him look like a dumb redneck. No offense, sort of.
Hello Janet:
As you no doubt have seen, there are multiple opinions on this subject.
Here’s my final answer when it comes to wearing a hat in someone’s private residence/home: It’s up to the owner/host, who has full rights to ask their guests to please remove their hat when in the house. What someone else allows in their home is equally up to them.
Some people require folks to take off their shoes when in the house, and others don’t. Some households don’t allow smoking in the house, others do. Whether allowed to wear a hat in a home, or not, is no different. It’s all about respecting the host and their wishes.
Here's the thing. Asking to remove shoes, or not allowing smoking are completely reasonable as they have practical and negative impact on the condition of the home.
Asking someone to remove their hat solely because it offends you and nothing more is outdated and very revealing of how intelligent the offended person truly is.
If someone still believes that these practices have any value in society, then they clearly aren't smart enough to keep up with the rest of humanity.
Hello NiK: We live in a society where kindness and respect should be the prevailing sentiment, regardless of being old-fashioned, or otherwise based solely on your own beliefs. I respect your beliefs and choices to wear a hat in your own home or in someone else’s home if they choose. All that’s meant here was to respect others in their home no matter what. Thank you!
don’t wear a hat at my table or you might get that lobotomy
A gentleman would never wear a baseball cap. the ghastliness.
Josh: In modern times, I see nothing wrong with a gentlemen to wear a baseball cap to appropriate events, such as outdoor sporting events. I think of my husband as a gentleman and he has worn them.
Is it offensive to wear a black lace bonnet style hat to my Husbands Military service. He’s a proud marine and I’m a proud Marine wife of 30 years is appropriate for me to wear a very nice lace bonnet style hat with a little small and nice dress shoes appropriately respectfully he liked to buy me hats and our travels thank you
very good, I will remember this