1. Workplace communications
Q: My supervisor hired two new employees for my department who speak limited English. As the manager, how can I effectively communicate with them?
A: Personal interest and attention reduces cultural barriers. Learn how to say a few words in your new employees’ native tongue. Each morning, a handshake and appropriate greeting such as “good morning” will go along way. A few words of courtesy, such as “please” and “thank you” will help develop a respectful working relationship.
In many cultures, family is given high priority. To establish rapport, show your interest by inquiring about the person’s family members, especially if you have met them.
Above all, be respectful. Avoid confrontation in front of others. If the person’s work habits need improving, discuss them privately. No one enjoys being corrected in public.
2. Gifts sent with no response
Q: My wife sent two gifts to her godchild for her graduation and birthday last month and we've not heard a word. She's particularly concerned about gifting in the future. What is the proper response?
A: Thank-you notes are especially important when gifts are sent a long distance. In your situation, if the godchild has email, send a simple message such as, “I’m just checking to see if you received the two gifts I sent you last month for your graduation and birthday. Please let me know, as I would hate to think they are lost. If so, I need to contact the post office right away to place a trace on them. ”
In the future, you may want to invest in a new service the U.S. Post Office provides, where you can ask for a delivery receipt. It will ease your mind, at least
3. Business Correspondence
Q: I often receive business letters and emails signed “Mary Smith” or just “Mary.” How do I address the envelope and the salutation when replying?
A: Address the envelope to “Ms. Mary Smith,” or “Mary Smith.” For the salutation, choose either “Dear Ms Smith” or “Dear Mary Smith,” not “Dear Mary.” Overall, a person’s name should be preceded by an honorific in all business and social correspondence.
Email uses the same conventions. Use the informal “Dear Mary” only after you have built rapport with the person and have met in person. I use both the first and last name in all my business emails. “Dear Mary Smith” is a happy middle-of-the-road solution.
4. Taxi rides with clients
Q: When traveling I often ride in a taxi with my clients. Where is the best seat for my client?
A: The best seat is in the back, curbside. This would also be true in a limousine.
5. Entering a restaurant with a woman
Q: Does a woman still precede a man when entering a restaurant?
A: Yes and no. While this is still common courtesy in the U.S, the usual practice in Europe is for the man to enter first. His job is to survey the room and to find an appropriate table. Once he finds it, he will turn around to have his female companion enter after him. This practice was established during the days when restaurants and cafes were crowded and sometimes rowdy, and no reservations were taken.
6. Getting guests to RSVP
Q: I am planning a gala where the price per person is costly. In the invitation, I want to include wording to ensure my guests’ commitment and reduce the chance of no-shows. Can you suggest what to say?
A: Say nothing on the invitation beyond your normal wording of the invitation, plus a firm due date for responses. Then, as acceptances arrive, send a confirmation message (easiest by email) stating:
- how pleased you are they have accepted your invitation
- how much you look forward to seeing them, especially because you have gone to much effort to ensure a most exceptional gala
- and finally because you must submit a guaranteed number of meals to the facility/caterers by a certain date, you must have an accurate guest count. To the point, if they must withdraw their acceptance, even if it’s at the last minute, please do let you know, so you will not have any empty seats for which you will still have to pay.
For those who did not respond by the due date, send a separate reminder that states how much you want to hear from them because of the efforts being made for the overall party and the need for a guaranteed number for food service. You can also call people by telephone. Depending on the facility or caterer and how true this statement may be, you can also say how much you regret not being able to accommodate anyone who do not respond ahead of time and attend unannounced.
7. Hosting guests at a restaurant
Q: My wife and I are hosting a dinner party in a restaurant for two of my top clients and their wives. How shall I seat them and how should they be served?
A: Arrive at the restaurant ahead of your guests to decide exactly who will sit where. It must be noted proper seating arrangements will vary slightly, depending on the exact number of guests being arranged and the configuration of the table. Assuming you are being seated at a round table of six, a guest of honor sits to the right of the host, with your wife on the other side of the table. Inform the wait staff you and your wife are the hosts and who among the guests are your honored guests. Instruct the waiter to serve your guest of honor first and not to remove any plates from the table until everyone has finished each course.
8. Walking on streets with women
Q: Why do men in the U.S. always walk on the outside of the street when accompanying a woman, but in Europe, where people are supposed to be even more polite, they do not?
A: In Europe, people put the honored person on their right side, regardless of whether that person is a man or woman. In the U.S., the practice of men walking on the outside or curbside of the street stems from the days when people would pour their dirty water onto the streets. In later years it was also to protect women from getting splashed upon by passing and swerving automobiles.
I hope you have enjoyed this random selection of questions from readers just like you. I love questions; so please submit them any time you think of one. There is no question too dumb or too difficult. I’d enjoy hearing from you.
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