Anthropologist
Terry Y. LeVine said it best:
“The practice of giving and receiving gifts is so universal
it is part of what it means to be human. In virtually every
culture, gifts and the events at which they are exchanged
are a crucial part of the essential process of creating and
maintaining social relationships …”
 While
December is the biggest gift-giving month of the year around
the world, there are endless reasons to give gifts throughout
the year: personal gifts for birthdays, weddings, graduations,
and holidays, as well as business gifts to say thank you
for a job well done, congratulations on a promotion, or
I’m sorry for not performing as expected.
The
purpose of giving gifts is to bring joy to both the giver
and receiver, promote goodwill, and make for a closer relationship.
However, if gift-giving goes amiss, there is a risk of
making the receiver uncomfortable and creating an unpleasant
situation for both sides. To avoid any ill-effects from
your gift-giving practices, keep in mind these simple tips:
WHEN
YOU GIVE:
- Be
sure of the true purpose of the gift. Beyond saying
the gift is for a particular holiday or occasion, think
through how well this gift will express your feelings
for this person. To figure this out, ask yourself: How
much do I really care about this person? How much time,
energy, and money am I willing to spend to select just
the right gift for him or her? Let the answers guide
you throughout this process.
- Do
your homework about the receiver. Be observant
about his or her favorite items, things he or she might
need, or things that would be a meaningful expression
of your relationship. Try to remember comments
about favorite colors, foods, or beverages. As needed,
ask
someone else who knows the person, explaining that
the purpose of your inquiry is to help learn something
that will help you select a special gift. I think
most people are willing to help with ideas.
- Be
sensitive to personal and cultural differences. With such a diverse population in our society,
it is important to learn something about
a person’s
ethnic, religious, and cultural practices along
with their personal likes and dislikes, before you present
a gift. Take time to learn what’s appropriate
and what’s not in different communities
to gain insights on what a person would or
would not
appreciate as a gift. For example, giving a
bottle of wine to someone who does not drink
alcohol
could make the receiver less than overjoyed
with your
gift.
- Know
when corporate logos are appropriate. Some
times a gift with a company logo cheapens its
appearance.
The best gifts are those without any company
logos or promotion on it, especially when given
as special
thank-you gift. Logo gifts are fine as small
tokens and remembrances for meetings held,
not generally as
the sincerest form of a thank-you gift.
- Use
simple and elegant wrapping. Japanese-influenced,
understated wrapping is best in my mind.
Avoid using brightly colored, bold, heavily
patterned paper and
a lot of brightly colored, fancy bows and
ribbons on the package. Use instead, solid
stately colors
and quality paper with simple ribbon.
- Present
your gift with style. The best way to present a gift
is always beautifully wrapped and
in person. And when you do, present your gift held
with both your
hands as though you are holding it on a
silver platter. This ritual is adopted from Asian culture
to show the
utmost respect and care. In business situations,
when sending the gift by messenger or mail, include
your
business card with the gift, along with
a
handwritten note on personal note card or stationary.
WHEN
YOU RECEIVE:
-
Show
your appreciation when receiving
a gift in person. Always put
a smile on
your face as a gift
is being presented. Receive the gift
with both hands (again an influence
from the Asian culture). Say
thank you along with a brief expression
of appreciation.
-
Let
the giver know as soon as possible
when a gift has arrived. Make every effort to
let the sender know
you received a gift sent by mail or
messenger (email, fax, or telephone call
is fine). Then follow it up
by sending the proper thank-you note
as soon as possible (see Tip
10 for more details).
-
Be
sensitive to opening a gift in front
of others. Americans typically open
gifts
as soon as it is received,
even in front of an audience
and other groups of people. Know that
in many
countries it is not customary or
appropriate to open gifts in
front of other people. They are kept
to be opened
alone. When receiving house
gifts, special guest and speaker
gifts, be sensitive as to whether you
will or will not be encouraged and
expected to open it right away.
-
Know
the bottom line. Always, always hand write
a thank you note for every
gift you
receive, no matter
what---regardless of whether
you like the gift or not, even if you plan
to exchange the gift or give it away.
Simply said: Sending a thank-you
note is the right thing to do. (see
November
2004 Tip for additional
information on writing thank you notes)
Happy Practicing!
To
view our past Etiquette Tips of the Month, please choose a
topic below:
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