While enjoy giving and attending a party as much as the next etiquette expert, over the years I have found a few situations that definitely damper my fun. Most party problems can be avoided with better planning. Here are a few tips to avoid faux pas as both host and guest. To review the other installments of the Party Tips series see July 2004 Party Planning … The Key to Success and December 2003 Being a Perfect Party Guest. FOR
THE HOST: 2. Hire service and busing help. Getting extra hands—whether paid staff or friends—to monitor food supplies, serve drinks, and take care of clean-up, allows you to enjoy your own party. As a guest I feel bad when hosts are slaving away in the kitchen or constantly rushing in and out replenishing the food table. I attend a party to relax and enjoy my host’s company. Avoid this faux pas by soliciting some help. If you can’t afford to hire anyone, consider trading help with an acquaintance—he or she helps at your events and you help at theirs. To me it is a real discourtesy to your guests to be “working” your party at the expense of sharing your time with those who have come to spend time with you. 3. Offer a variety of consumables. We now have the opportunity to meet and know people from all over the world, from many ethnicities, from a range of cultures, and with an array of personal preferences. Avoid the faux pas of unhappy guests by creating a welcoming atmosphere for all. Design a balanced food table—unless you are absolutely sure all guests are meat eaters, for instance, always serve a few vegetarian items—and be sure to have non-alcoholic and diet beverages available at your bar. 4. Know your guests. We all experience a lapse of memory from time to time. Yet one of the more awkward situations is when a host needs to introduce a guest and can’t remember his/her name. As one of the last items on your to-do list the night before, take time to review the entire guest list one by one. Picture their face in your mind. Engage and coordinate with your spouse and co-host the names of any guest you definitely should know and remember. By doing your homework you may save yourself and your guests some embarrassing moments FOR
THE GUEST: 2. Try it you might like it. A party of any kind is a great time to taste new foods. I must share a story from a back yard barbeque where one of the items served were pouches of ratatouille. This is a delicious French dish from the region of Provence, typically combined with eggplant, onions, zucchini, bell peppers, tomatoes, garlic, and herbs. In this instance they were put together in small aluminum pouches and grilled on the barbeque. Sitting at a picnic table was a man eating these ratatouille one after the other as though he was starved for days. A woman sitting next to him remarked how delicious these pouches were and how she especially liked the eggplant in it. At that point the man interjected, “Eggplant, where’s the eggplant?” When the woman replied, “Oh, it’s the little purple items,” the man suddenly stopped eating, put aside his remaining pouches, and said, “Eggplant, I hate eggplant.” He didn’t take another bite the rest of the party. Now, I ask you, does this make any sense to you? Please email me and let me know what you think. I feel that a party is an excellent place to stow your mental food bias, keep an open mind, and try new foods, I’m confident that most of the time you will be pleasantly surprised. 3. Don’t set drinks down on the artwork. Attending events at museums, galleries, and private homes where art objects are on display is a real treat. Even if there is limited space on which you can set your plate and glass, please do not be tempted to set something on or beside a beautiful art object. You run the risk your items will tip over, spill, and possibly cause irreparable damage. Avoid this faux pas by doing your best to juggle that plate and drink until you find a proper place to set them down. 4. Clean up after yourself. We are all taught to tidy up after ourselves and to recycle or dispose of used items. Despite that I’ve seen dirty plates and cups left underneath coffee tables and chairs, behind art pieces, and hidden in garden plants. Avoid this faux pas and show how well you were raised by disposing of all items appropriately. Enjoy the rest of the summer. Happy Practicing! To view our past Etiquette Tips of the Month, please choose a topic below:
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Faux
pas: from the French, 1676, a false step, especially
a social blunder.