In the U.S., June is the most popular month for weddings. Each year, I receive numerous inquiries and comments on wedding etiquette, including horror stories about lost relationships over what transpired because guests don't understand what's expected of them.  Here are my top 8 good luck tips to always be the perfect wedding guest.

1. Respond promptly and keep your word: 
   What a headache when hosts don't know who will be attending.  Respond by the RSVP due date (and no closer than 14 days). If your plans change, notify the couple immediately. No-shows cost money, and unexpected arrivals cause stress and often impossible situations.
2. Only Bring the Guests You’re Invited to Bring
   Check the invitation carefully. If it says, "and guest," that means one, not the whole gang. No plus-one listed? This means you must fly solo with style.  If it doesn't state "and family," this means no kids and only the individuals named on the invitation are invited, no exceptions!  When it does state "and family" or "and guest," list all names attending on the response card.
   
3. Give a gift--- thoughtfully and timely
   Attending? A gift is expected. Not attending?  It’s optional yet always appreciated. Send it before or within eight weeks… (forget 6 months to a year). Registries are helpful, yet a heartfelt gift always wins.
   
4. Dress Respectfully and Elegantly
   This is the worst offense:  No jeans, no white (unless requested), and no everyday street clothes.  Follow the dress code. When in doubt, dress up, not down. Show respect for the couple and the occasion. Requests for black-tie, formal, and other themed clothing are to be followed.  Honor it and enjoy making every effort to wear the festive clothing requested. If you aren’t willing to make the effort, I think you shouldn’t attend.
5. Travel and Lodging are up to you
   Unless the invitation states otherwise, transportation and accommodation are the guest's responsibility. Ask for local tips, but don’t expect expenses to be covered, regardless of where the wedding is held in the world.
6. Arrive early --- Not dramatically late
   Aim to arrive 15 minutes early. Late arrivals distract from the ceremony after it starts.  Stand in the back, or head to an outside aisle and take a seat quickly and quietly. Traditionally, the bride's side is to the left and the groom’s to the right. Jewish weddings are the opposite. Today, there is less concern about where guests sit.
   
7. Be present --- No Posting, etc.
   No electronic devices during the ceremony… turn them off!  Only designated photographers should be taking snaps during the ceremony.  Capture memories later, not at the altar. Be sure to ask the couple about what can or can’t be posted on social media.  These days, wedding photos are shared among guests when ready.
8. Not attending?  Declining an invite still requires a response. Silence is not polite — it’s confusing. Responding shows respect to the couple’s headcount and budget.

BONUS:
See 8 Tips for Parents Taking Kids to Weddings and Events…
[Also at: https://www.advancedetiquette.com/general/8-tips-for-parents-taking-kids-to-weddings-and-events/}

If you have questions about or comments to share on this topic, please email me or post it at the end of this blog post.  Also, be sure to share this tip with everyone you know. The guidelines hold true for most celebrations, events, and parties where invitations are extended and gifts may be involved.  

Happy Practicing!