Do you have one or more words or phrases you can’t stand? I do. Among them is the word “further” instead of “farther” when talking about distance. Another is common on signs in stores, saying “10 items or less” when it should read, “10 items or fewer.”
But my Number One worst pet peeve is how people constantly use “No problem” as the response to almost everything. It’s become a so trite, clichéd, unoriginal, and commonplace.
I knew I reached a boiling point when I saw this quote by the British author P.G. Woodhouse: “A slight throbbing about the temples told me that this discussion had reached saturation point.” Not only do my temples throb, but my brain screeches every time I hear those two words. And sadly, I hear them all too often. Cashiers say “No problem” after I thank them for the change I receive for my purchase. Waiters say “No problem” when giving me change from the bill I just paid. Front desk attendants say “No problem” after I thank them for giving me my room key.
What was the problem in the first place? What happened to the simple yet powerful phrases of “You’re welcome” and perhaps “My pleasure?”
It’s not just people in the service field who say it. I recently heard it out the mouth of a 6-year-old boy, and worst of all I’ve caught myself saying it. (By the way, if you ever hear me saying “No problem” please feel free to call my attention to it, if I didn’t already do it first.)
In many other languages, the customary reply to “Thank you” is not always a literal translation of “You’re welcome.” In French, for instance, the reply is “De rien,” which means, “It was nothing.” In Spanish, a common response is “De nada,” which means, “It was nothing” as well. In the U.S., Americans even use the slang “No problemo,” a bastardization of the more correct Spanish phrase, “No hay problema,” or “Ningún problema.” Is that where we get it? The more we hear and see the term used – even in movies — the more correct we think it is.
No matter how you slice it, in American English, to use the phrase “No problem” as the correct response to “thank you” and most other situations is not accurate. In fact, it’s inappropriate, in most instances inaccurate and in some instances rude. The correct response… one more time is “You’re welcome,” or “It’s my pleasure.”
Help Me Stamp out “No Problem”
I’m declaring a personal crusade to stamp out the use of “No problem” in our society. Henceforth, this subject will be a standard item in all my seminars and presentations, as are a few other topics, such as writing thank you notes. If you agree, please join me in a crusade to stamp it out. Here’s all you need to do:
1. Post a comment in the area below to show support of my efforts. I’d love to know I’m not alone.
2. Share your own stories about situations you’ve encountered where you heard the words “No problem” in lieu of what you think would have been a better choice of words.
3. Submit your own commitment to making every effort to eliminate these words from your writing and speech.
4. For parents and teachers: Educate and encourage your children and students on the merits of not using these words.
5. As an employer, share this article as something for your staff members to not use in front of your clients and customers.
If we all reduce the use of these words in lieu of other more appropriate words, over time it will become less and less common and appropriate to say. This is exactly how etiquette comes into effect.
Together we may be able to make a positive change in our society.
Happy Practicing!
Tags: no problem, saying no problem
Dear Syndi,
I wholeheartly agree with your indictment of the phrase “No problem”. I cannot abide the usage and have also, to my horror found myself using the term.
I have been trying to eradicate it from my volcabulary and pass on the message to my colleagues who use it much too frequently!
Good luck with the campaign and you have my support!
I’m in complete agreement, Syndi.
I worked with a woman who was as lazy as they come. She dropped the ball on nearly every project put on her plate. Her typical response to my request for her to DO HER JOB was, “No problem.” I’m happy to report it was “no problem” to see her get dismissed.
I’m guilty! I fell into the habit because I heard the term so much. Which is no excuse! “My pleasure, I’m happy to assist,” would have been more appropriate terms.
So I thank you bringing it back to my consciousness.
I’m going to post this article on FB and other social sites.
Dear Walethia: You are not alone is using the term, as I have been caught, as well. Yet, I’m pleased to see others are following this crusade to stamp these words out of our mental dictionary.
Chances are these two words into one phrase, takes less efforts to physically speak? For instance, here in China, those whose spoken English is not so perfect, they find it so easy to learn this phrase and speak it all the time.
This Chinese student was on a train and a foreigner came up, asking if he could make some room for him, “No problem”; then he was asked “Where are you going?” “No problem.” “Are you a college student?” “No problem.” with a big smile. Right, so the key problem is that’s the single phrase he could speak!
See? People are just lazy and don’t care.
Have a nice day…
I perceive the use of “no problem” as rude. It also implies that if the act had been an inconvience, they probably would not have done it.
As you wrote, other languages directly translate to “It was nothing.”
That is why people say no problem! It is actually a shortened way of saying “Not a problem,” which would match the other languages and also be grammatically correct.
I feel sorry to give reason to the people who say it, though, because I have to agree with you, it’s quite annoying to hear.
Thank you Syndi for bringing this up.My language is Arabic, and we have this “no problem” thing running like fire in our everyday spoken language.
I am a training officer and just a few days ago I passed this note to one of our trainers:”Please let’s conduct an activity that focuses on unwanted cliche’s.”No problem” was one.”No Problem” is not an answer, it’s not a standing,it’s not a point of view.It’s a colorless meaningless word that does not really tell the other person what you think or how you feel.So it distorts communication.
Thank you so much for bringing this up.
Ahhhhhh! I thought I was the only person who got riled up when I heard someone say, “No problem”. I’m glad to know there are others.
I loved the article, and from now on when someone says those dreaded words to me, I’ll say, “Oh, was there a problem to begin with?”
Dear Syndi—Please accept my thanks for addressing the ubiquitous MISUSE of “no problem.” What a poor substitute for “my pleasure,” no?
I am not amused and what thoughtful person is? Good work! Yours as ever
—jnp
Dear Barney: Thank you for your kind post. Perhaps to be grammatically correct, your reply should be: “Oh, was there a problem in the first place? My husband keeps reminding me proper grammar does not allow sentences to end with a preposition.
I only know of one company that can say no problem…and that is my bike company. Whenever I have a question or a problem they wisk away the bike while saying no problem…and, they get it back to me quickly….and that truly is no problem.
As a marketer I concentrate on words and when “no problem” is used in response to service rendered … it just doesn’t make sense! It shouldn’t be a problem if you’re being paid to do something. It’s your job! Always makes me wonder …
Dear Syndi,
I completely agree with Syndi. I feel “no problem” is insensitive and not personal. I feel proper etiquette is personal yet sensitive to the person demonstrating and the person watching or listening. The sign of the times requres more people to know the prorper way of doing everything. Some people have forgotten their basic manners…me as well. But not anymore!
My standard response whenever someone in customer service tells me “no problem” is: “Well of course it’s not a problem, I’m the customer!!”
Sadly, I think this has a lot to do with a new generation who is basically devoid of humility. In other words, they’re doing you the favor of assisting you, rather than you (the customer) doing them the favor of patronizing their business, thus, you being the entire purpose of them having their job.
I guess I got this expression from my grandparents and I am 60! I am mostly German. I think it’s very presumptuous to assume someone is being rude when they say “No Problem” instead of “You’re Welcome”. Other countries use this expression without condemnation! Geeez! Ridiculous! This is the Polite Police on steroids….
More Formal Ways of Saying You’re Welcome in German:
• Bitteschön
• Bitte sehr
• Gern geschehen (It was my pleasure)
• Mit Vergnügen (With pleasure)
• Gern geschehen (It was my pleasure)
• Gern (shortened form of “Gern geschehen”)
• Nichts zu danken (Don’t mention it.)
• Schon gut (That’s fine. No problem)
• Kein Problem (No problem)
Dear Alice: I appreciate your submitting a comment and do agree it could be presumptuouos to assume someone is being rude when they say “No Problem” instead of “You’re Welcome.” Yet the primary point of the article is not to develop poor habits in using this term as the reply to most situations. Rather, there are better and more accurate word choices a person can think to use. I loved all your suggestions of other ways to express appreciation in German, versus “No Problem.” Thank you.
Of course it was ‘not a problem’ to preform all those easy tasks. They do not feel grateful for handing you your change as if you where a king. You are a single person thanking them for doing a task they would have done regardless.
If a friend or person asks me to do something simple like pass an object and thank me i will say ‘No problem’(this task caused no problem for me to do and it is such a small task any decent human would help you with it)
if how ever they asked me to help paint there house and say ‘Thank you’(You have my gratitude for helping me with this task) i will say ‘Your welcome’(I am glad i could help because i cherish our relationship)
saying ‘your welcome’ to every little task to me cheapens it when you get a truly heartfelt ‘your welcome’ because you helped them with a ‘problem / task’
I agree with everyone who said they do not like “no problem”. In grocery stores and restaurants it is annoying. It is not a proper reply to “thank you”. I would bet that the person who says no problem would be upset if their customers stopped saying thank you. SIRED22 ..Do you think “thank you” cheapens when you say it to every little task someone helps you with? I don’t. It is just a part of a civil society.
Dear Terri: I agree. I do not think it cheapens things when a person says “thank you” to every little task as long as the person is genuinely sincere when saying it. It is a part of civil behavior that if everyone were to say it more often I think more people would feel more appreciated.
I’d like to point out there are situations in which “No problem” is more appropriate then “you’re welcome.” What if you go to assist someone say if they’ve had some kind of accident and need help or you are giving them some kind of emotional support. If they say, “Thank you for coming,” wouldn’t it sound much more rude to say, “You’re welcome,” than, “No problem?” “No problem” seems to imply that it was not a problem to come and assist this person because you actually care, so how could it be a problem? And the same goes for when you hold the door for someone and they say, “Thank you,” as they should, and you respond, “No problem.” It implies that they in no way inconvenienced you in making you wait to hold the door and that you’re happy to help. That’s what I mean when I say it. And I do say it and I will keep on saying it because you all are reading way to much into two tiny words.
You all are being ridiculous. You are all a bunch of grammar Nazis and etiquette snobs. Perhaps you all should watch this video of Stephen Fry talking about appreciating the beauty of language rather than constantly trying to correct it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7E-aoXLZGY&list=FL25EJs5sSCGa0MN-jT35Lfg&index=5&feature=plpp_video
Also, to Gregg Plummer: Why don’t you worry about your own generation and stop insulting a younger generation just because you all think you’re still awesome. My mother is always going on about how great her generation was and about how my generation is not nearly as good, blah, blah, blah. You know what, there are some really terrible people in my generation, it’s true. How else do TV shows like Jersey Shore survive? But, since we’re talking about rudeness, I think it is immensely rude to create stereotypes of people based on age. Less than bright youths my age watch Twilight, but so do people from your generation. Just like people my age are also going to be winning Nobel prizes in the future, just as people your age probably did (certainly not you, of course). So, why can’t older people just back off? Stop trying to blame all the problems of the world on anyone under the age of 25. You people made some pretty dumb choices too. (Sorry this is so long and fragmented, but you really shouldn’t have brought age into it. It makes me quite angry and I want to yell a lot.)
Dear Ilsa: More than anything I appreciate your taking the time to write such a long post. It proves the blog is working. Blogs to me are to share opinions and evoke discussion. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion… which is what democracy is all about. It is up to each reader to decide for themselves whether to agree or disagree with any opinions shared. What I want most from anyone who contributes to this blog is to—of course—be honest, yet to do it in a respectful and considerate manner. Regrettably, there have been a number of past approved posts that were on the border of being rude and inappropriate, yet we have so far allowed them. I welcome all opinions.
I am not against the etiquette in general, but I really don’t understand why people find the whole ‘no problem’ thing annoying. I personally don’t use these words because I write poetry and so, I know the worth of language perfection, but seriously, in daily life situations when we don’t usually think much before saying something – who cares? After all, I choose to understand these particular words literally, as they are – ‘no problem’ to me, means exactly that there isn’t any inconvenience in doing someone a favor, something which is not a part of our job, since for our work we are usually paid, so it would be inappropriate if there actually was a problem, so these words here do not apply – if someone used them at work, that of course, would be almost rude, I agree, since the job has to be done anyway and because one is paid to do it, one is also expected to recognise the orders of the boss whether it is problematic for them or not, so it is generally not expected to be heard, as it suggests there might be a problem and the oerson is communicating that they are having no problem – something the boss isn’t really interested in – whether they can or cannot do the job, because they simply have to do it, or they would be dismissed. So, there is simply no point to express our ability or disability to do the thing asked of us, if we anyway have to do it, as it was earlier agreed. Instead, I think it would be correct to just say something like ‘of course’, ‘yes, Sir/Madam’, ‘immediately’ etc. Or, if someone doesn’t really want to sound so servant-like when replying to an order from the boss, well, it is all right to say simply ‘yes’ or ‘all right’, although I usually say informally just ‘okay’ since I don’t work in a formal environment. Otherwise, I would rather say nothing at all, but just do the thing I’m asked of, without questionning, unless it was something that goes against my principles or something I really hate doing. Or something I am not able to do at the moment. Then, I would obviously give a reason in case of resistance.
However, saying ‘no problem’, when understood literally, is just fine when it comes to non-professional environment, informal relations and situations when the thing asked of us is something the asker knows it might cause some inconvenience because it is not something we are normally expected to do, but a favor, like for example, a friend going shopping and another friend asking them to get some stuff for them on their way back because they can’t go by themselves, the type of situation ‘buy me this and that, I will give you the money back later’ – that would be a favor, so saying ‘no problem’ in that case means nothing but ‘there isn’t any inconvenience for me in doing this for you’, so that the person know that we can do the thing and be at ease that their request is not putting us in a dificult situation (which could be, if we, for example, have no time and many other things to do along with our shopping)… For example.
This is my personal opinion and I think it is justified to use these words in that case.
Yet, if we say ‘no problem’ after completing a task, the same rules apply – basically speaking, if the task we are thanked for, was but a part of our job or it was expected of us anyway and we still receive a ‘thank you’, just for politeness, which does not necessarily mean the person really feels grateful for that particular thing – they are just being nice saying ‘thank you’ – then, it would not be correct to say ‘no problem’, thus suggesting there might have been a problem but there wasn’t. Nevertheless, if that was a favor and someone is thanking us for it, then I see no problem in saying ‘no problem’…
- That communicates the person that we could easily do what they asked us to do, so they might feel no discomfort having asked something of us which we did not HAVE TO do, after all, yet, we did…
This is what it means to me. And yes, I am also quite particular about words… 
After all, I am a poet, a philosopher, and a linguist. I speak more than one foreign language and I always look for appropiate and accurate words, adequate to the situation.
The same situation as with saying ‘no problem’ while asked a favor. Because, after all, we don’t have to do the thing, yet we do it, that means we are quite willing to do it and we are also able to do it – this is the message transmitted in these words – ‘no problem’, thus informing the asker that his wish is not a difficult or impossible task for us to fulfill, so they do not need to worry about it interferring somehow with our own plans, such as going out while we are asked to do something else which would most probably make us have to change those plans… Such as a situation when a friend or relative asks us to do something for them and we already have another plans for the time they want us to perform the task – so, in this situation, the request interfers with our own plans and so, saying ‘no problem’ would mean exactly that there is nothing interferring or preventing us from doing the thing asked of us… This is what I think.
Greetings from Poland!
Aisha Baranowska
I think saying ‘you’re welcome’ is even more impolite than a ‘no problem’, since it implies that the person isn’t really happy to do the job. Or while inviting someone to come over as a guest, and saying ‘you’re welcome’ in that case makes the guest-to-be feeling inferior, somehow. It is like when I hear ‘you’re welcome’, then I feel that I’m not really welcome, it creates the feeling that the person is not being sincere while saying ‘you’re welcome to come’, so it actually communicates the guest that we don’t really want them to come, but we are just trying to be polite – inviting them, but with certain dose of reserve – ‘you’re welcome’ sounds like ‘we don’t really want you to come, but if you come, we will MERELY ALLOW YOU to enter and be our guest…’ So, if they will merely allow me to be their guest, then of course, I don’t feel like coming.
But, there is still another side of the medal, obviously… If we really have an intention to communicate our disagreement to have the person as our guest, but we don’t want to tell them openly ‘we don’t want you to come’ because it would be more than rude, then saying ‘you’re welcome’ is actually much more fitting for the situation and way more polite to say – because the person is less likely to feel offended than if we say to them ‘please, don’t come’… Don’t you think? ;* This is what I think, anyway. And moreover, we don’t need to give the reasons when asked why we don’t want to receive a person as our guest, if we tell them ‘you’re welcome’ – they will understand perfectly and they will probably not come at all, but without being offended, since offense was not our intention, but rather, merely suggesting they shouldn’t be coming, without giving a reason. So, in that case, I approve of saying ‘you’re welcome’, but, I do not approve of it in a situation when our intention is not to scare the guests away…
This is exactly the same as saying ‘no problem’ in some situations – being just fine, while in other situations – being even rude… Everything depends on the situation – on the people, place, time, circumstances etc. This is to say that the etiquette IS AND CAN BE FLEXIBLE… 
To me, the etiquette is indeed quite flexible, anyway. This is what makes it somehow relative term, since the social rules and what is appropriate or inappropriate, depends on the society, culture, tradition, times we live in, place we are in, and so many other things… Every country and nation have their own unwritten rules of behaviour, speech etc. If something for us is rude, for others is not and vice-versa. So, there really is not point in pointing out something as the only correct to do or say or only incorrect… This is called cultural relativism, I know. But, it is not and should never be as problematic as it is to some of us… 
This is my opinion on the matter. 
Thank you for your time to read my comment, just in case someone got bored reading but kept reading to the end… 
Also, I don’t know why in so many books in English I often see ‘further’ rather than ‘farther’ – to be sincere, I have never heard of ‘farther’ before. The only option I have ever seen in my whole life and I was even taught at school (!!!) was indeed, ‘further’. So, what is wrong with that? Why would it be a spelling mistake? After all, spelling changes with time and what was correct spelling of a word some time ago, might not be considered as such anymore… At least this happens in my language – in Polish… 
Greetings!
Aisha Baranowska ;*
“You’re welcome” is the appropriate response to “Thank you”. I hope I am not inconveniencing the store clerk by allowing her to serve me such that she feels a need to respond “no problem”.
My quick reply to thank you is “No worries,” which I suspect but don’t know for sure is of Australian origin. I’m going to watch that in the future, but i have to tell you I have more of a concern with the “My bad” reply when someone should be offering an apology. “My bad” seems dismissive and arrogant, as in, I did wrong, but get over it. It’s not that big a deal.
AISHA, You are so right! . I consider “No Problem” perfectly acceptable and kind – (depending on the tone of voice just as any other comment -including “You’re Welcome”)
It says to the asker that their request was NOT in any way a problem for the doer – and gives the ASKER a feeling that they have not been a burden (as some VERY kind people actually LIKE to be reassured that they have NOT been a problem) I come across these types of insecure people ALL THE TIME being in customer service. (especially sweet little ole ladies
)
I can tell that they MUCH appreciate that I have reassured them that what they have asked IS NOT A PROBLEM FOR ME TO DO IT FOR THEM!!!! It is ALL in the your tone of voice and manner.
ON the Other Hand, I come across those “types” of ASKERS that certainly are a PROBLEM and they only exist in this life to complain and make PROBLEMS because they are innately RUDE and difficult people – therefore they will NEVER hear the words “NO PROBLEM” from me as they CERTAINLY are a problem and they were not POLITE or kind.
The people that HAVE a problem with this comment probably ARE THOSE TYPE OF ASKERS – the “to do” over this perfectly innocent comment is proof. LOL! To them I say: You’re Welcome – a cold, albeit polite, response. (If I give someone a gift and I get a Thank You – a You’re Welcome works. If I do a service for someone and get a Thank You – then a No Problem is VERY appropriate!)
No one is going to change my mind on that – I am 60 yrs of age and I do not believe it is a BAD HABIT! It is a reassuring response to the people that I serve and that is how it is conveyed to them. It has never invoked a negative response. I just happened across this “uptight” web site & it really irks me that there are such “judgemental” polite police that have no idea what they are talking about. I put the German in to proove that it is a world wide phrase and that it is perfectly common, MODERN terminology – It is not rude – NOT insulting. Get over it!
Aisha: To your question about the difference between further and farther… “further” means to move something to a greater extent or degree, as in “I want to further my acting career.” Farther is a word relating to distance. “He threw the ball farther down the field.” They are two distinctly separate real words that most people get mixed up and use the wrong word for the wrong meaning. Although some dictionaries now allow them to be used interchangeably, anyone who wants to speak the English language well does continue to use both words correctly. It now has become a sign of your level of education and is most egregious to those who proclaim to be “in the know.” It trust you and all reading this are now “in the know” and will henceforth use the correct words for the correct meaning. Happy Practicing!
I work in a store (not in the US) and I agree that while travelling in the US the flippant use of “no problem” often irked me, however it was not what was said but HOW it was said. It’s quite obviuos when someone is interested in helping you and geniune or not. Today at work I was asked to not say “no worries” to customers. I am extremely polite and friendly and have been using “thank you” “no problem” “cheers” and “no worries” and many more rejoinders as ways of making customers feel comfortable for my whole life. But instead of complementing anything good in the store I am doing my boss chose to pick on this one little thing. I am 44 years old and am not prepared to change the way I speak because of someone anal retentive English language paranoia…are you all so well spoken??? I very much doubt it. Stop being such nazis and get a life. There’s more to worry about this in the world. I am resigning tomorrow as I will not change who I am or how I speak.
Dear English Teacher: I was sorry to read at the end of your post you were resigning from your job over such a minor matter… as you describe, if as you say this is a small matter. For you and all to understand, my articles are merely my own thoughts, feelings, and opinions on various subjects and everyone reading them has full right to agree, disagree, follow or not follow the tips provided. I’ve enjoyed reading everyone’s posts on this topic and have made every effort to post them all… minus those with inappropriate language. Also, at 44 years of age you are still young by today’s standards and no matter what age you are, anyone can change if they have the interest, right attitude, and heart to do it. Again, it’s your choice. Good luck!
Beautiful. Thank You! (My wife loves this discussion). In order to sometimes get the “no problem” folks to say your welcome, I can sometimes be deliberate and slow in my thank you, so that it strains them to say “NP”. Today, one said “thank you” in return to my “THANNNNK YOOOOUU”. Score! Later, I tried to wedge out “your welcome, but failed miserably, with my wife and daughter snickering as we left the restaurant. Fun game.
Have you got any ideas on how to pull a Your Welcome out of the chronic offenders? Maybe saying “your welcome” quickly, before saying thank you, might mentally prime them to get back on the courtesy bus.
Helo Syndi, How refreshing that I am not on my own in my loathing for bad English. This friday evening my wife and I were at a nice Indian restraunt when I overheard the manager take a telephone order. He ended his conversation withe dreaded “no problem!”. When I came to pay my bill,I politely asked him if he would like a good marketing tip that would endear him to his customers?. At first he looked rather bemused but nontheless listened to me. I said that it was more appropiate and polite to use the expression. ” my pleasure ” or “your welcome”, in fact you should never let the word “problem” cross your lips within earshot of a customer. If you have to say we’ve had a “problem” then say ” we’ve had a “difficulty!” why? because a difficulty is work in progress with an attempted solution being applied. A “problem is not!, its static ( awaiting a solution). When a problem has an attempted solution applied to it, it then at worst becomes a “difficulty”. To illustrate, I took a friend of mine to Gatwick airport to board a flight to Paris. We arrived at the desk to be told correctly I may add that there was a “problem”… Bad English? Actually no! Her next sentence was “I’m afraid the airline has gone bankrupt and all flights have been cancelled!”. This was definitety not a”difficulty!” but in every sense of the word a”problem!” Another pet hate that is creeping in is the affirmative ” yeah yeah” instead of “yes” even my manager says it and it really is irritating. So in conclusion the restraunt manager thanked me for the advice to which I said ” your welcome”.
Gordon and Mike: Success and Hurray!… one person at a time. Thank you for sharing your stories.
This has been bothering me for so long, glad to see there are many others who agree that ‘no problem’ is a rude response from cashiers and wait staff. Without realizing it, they are announcing that you did bother them, but that they are being gracious about it and have chosen not to be put out by your requests. This is THE OPPOSITE of customer service; the staff person’s JOB is to help, fix, deliver, serve, give, etc. They are not doing you a special favour by performing tasks for you. Yes, we should thank them, but let’s be honest: they are working for us, even for just a few moments, their time and energy belongs to us, that is the nature of the service industry, that for a wage and sometimes tips, paying customers really are their concern, and that being really helpful and good at serving is not ‘extra’, it is their duty.
A perfect description and explanation of “No problem”, Bluebirdsinging. In service industries, appropriate replies to a customer’s “Thank you” (and variations such as “You’ve been very helpful”) include “It’s been my pleasure” (or simply “My pleasure” to a routine “Thank you”), “Certainly”, “Of course”, “You’re welcome”, and as Mike Holland says, “Thank you” with emphasis on “you”.
To English Teacher: If I may inquire, would you have agreed to adopt a more formal language style, as your boss requested, if he/she had indeed complimented you (I’m assuming you meant “complimenting”, not “complementing”) on the quality of the other aspects of your job performance?
More simply, do you understand why it probably wouldn’t go over well if your first words upon meeting the Queen of England were along the lines of “What up, girl?” (“I swear, she was cool with it!”) Jeans and t-shirt in the Ritz-Carlton’s bar (“I looked better than the Gucci’d out hags that were there, I can tell you that.”) Just a towel around you, Saturday morning at the bakery (“What, was I showing anything?”) Burping and farting in church (“They’re natural, necessary functions.”)
C’mon, grow a little. (I am not changing the way I talk!”) Trust me, you’ll still be you. Get a book on etiquette. It’s all very easy, and believe it or not, most of it is simple ways to become kinder, smarter, and more gracious. “Get a life!” might become for you, “Have you read (such-and-such)? What a terrific book, such mind-blowing ideas,”
Aisha: Wow. Alright, I’ll pick just one… “Thank you” and “You’re Welcome” are rare with regard to invitations; they’re not appropriate. They go like this:
“We’d be very happy if you came to blah-blah-blah.”
“That sounds wonderful. Sure. I’ll be looking forward to it.”
“Great. We can’t wait to see you again.”
“Same here.”
(Probably the language (English), but this business about “you’re welcome to come” has nothing to do with the kind of “you’re welcome” that follows “thank you.” There’s only one usage for “you’re welcome to come” in an invitation – that is, when the occasion is either not a social event or is a social event the ‘asker’ isn’t looking forward to attending or is compulsory.
“Yeah, I have to pick up my Mom at the Tampa airport. You’re welcome to come but she’s just going to blab the whole way home about her surgery.”
“I have to go to this bullshit work party. You’re welcome to come, but it’s gonna suck.”
I cannot tell you how relieved I am to read your sentiments on No Problem. I have stopped many teenager cashiers in the middle of their ‘-blem’ and said, I know I am not a problem, but you know what is? I want to be welcome, not no prob. Amazing epidemic. When I was young, I overcame bad habits when smart people who did not accept sloppy work or speech spoke up. Apologies to Edmund Burke, but All that is necessary for evil (this unfortunate phrase) to triumph is for good men to do nothing!
I obviously need help in better understanding this issue that people have with “No problem.” My perception of the term “No Problem” has been so different than all of yours… its like night and day!
I believe “No problem” may have bugged me once or twice, but only if the person saying it had a rude or indifferent tone of voice.
Now, I consider myself a very motivated, helpful and kind person. I would never intentionally be rude to anyone, yet I say “No problem.” To say “You’re welcome,” feels unnatural to me, almost boastful. To say “My pleasure” makes me feel funny.
I think for a lot of people, “No problem,” used in that context, has gained a meaning of its own. To me it means, “Really don’t thank me please. You deserve what I did for you, therefore it does not require a thank you and I am happy to help!” Or, “honestly, you really do deserve that help… don’t thank me I’m here to serve you!” I don’t want to get a big head. Or, “You were so nice and awesome that it made me happy to help you and never even required a thank you.”
I must admit, I correct my boyfriend’s grammar a lot and now I feel like such a hypocrite!
As far as “My Pleasure,” well I only heard that one a few times, and each time, I assumed that the person was flirting with me! I knew what it was meant to mean, but assumed otherwise. WOW. LOL
Thanks for this, I am glad you shared this pet peeve of yours and will try not to offend people and try my hardest to say “You’re welcome.”
P.S. – Someone mentioned the waitress and cashiers above. I waited tables and it was HORRIBLE. I felt like a slave to people’s picky desires. The only way I was contributing to the evolution of man was helping them to get fatter. I must admit back then, I would have had a problem with saying “Your welcome,” and honestly meaning it…
I agree with you 1000000 percent. Not only do I think saying this is incorrect I think it’s Downright rude and inconsiderate. Today I invited a friend to a party. It was sort of a favor as I did not want to go alone however it was a nice party with extremely nice people free food drinks….after the party I texted my friend to say thanks for coming with me. It was a party. Its notice I asked him to help me move or drive me to the airport. His reply?no problem”. I felt this was offensive and made me wince and regret inviting him. Why would I think it was a problem in the first place? So by telling me no problem I think that this crossed his mind as being so. How bout it was nice to see you. I had fun. Happy to help out……or any variation but by merely inserting the word problem I’m left feeling soured as though I had somehow imposed. Even if I helped someone move or did a big favor I would never say no problem because I would not want them thinking I felt it was
Ok, I have to admit I am one of them. I have always said no problem and recently my manager informed me that it is rude. I had no idea. (I am in the younger generation.) He told me to ask my grandmother what she thought on the subject. (She is no longer alive . . .so, I wound up here.) I have always taken it to mean, my pleasure. I mean it when I say it; that it isn’t a problem at all and I am happy to do it. I had no idea people would assume I meant that there was a problem in the first place.
I only want to add my voice to this discussion to show that people are not always saying it because there is some unseen problem and we are being passive aggressive about it. It is just becoming a daily pattern in our speech and generally means my pleasure, to those who say it. I do realize now that saying my pleasure is a more direct and proper way to say it. I also feel like it’s something my grandmother would say and honestly makes me feel very stuffy. I am practicing saying you’re welcome instead. This may be common among younger folks as my pleasure just might be too “old school”. I have never heard anyone my age say it.
I just say “Glad to help” instead of “No Problem”.
If someone says “No problem” to me I smile to myself in a self deprecating way in the knowledge that even though people don’t say what my sensitive ears would prefer to hear I realise it’s more of a poor reflection on me that it bothers me.
I agree that drives me crazy, and now “no problem” has a lengthened version: “not a problem” which is even worse !
I recently had an interview for a “waitress” position (yes I said waitress not server)…
the owner of the restaurant said he did not want to hear anyone saying “not a problem”. Hats off to him.
I find the overuse of “as well” for also and too equally annoying.
Being somewhat of a geezer, I am none to fond of “no problem” and prefer “you’re welcome.” I think that to say “no problem” is to suggest that there may have been a problem. How could it be a possible problem when cashiers and other people involved in service are doing their job which they are being paid for?
Thank you for your crusade Syndi. I have been discussing this topic off and on for a few weeks with my wife after pointing out that our server responded to my “Thank you” with a “yeah” and later an “uh-huh.” Keep your head up facing the “etiquette-bashers” whom feel they’re adding an easier way of communicating “You’re Welcome” with some alternative sub-grade response
I used to feel insulted when someone said “no problem” to my “thank you”. After reading the following explanation, I accept the practice.
The 2003 Cambridge Dictionary of American Idioms, page 255, under phrases with a purpose, idioms of reaction, states:
“If someone has done something helpful, you will be likely to use a polite expression like “thank you” or “thanks”, which is a way of showing your appreciation”. When someone thanks you for something you have done for them, it is polite to say, “you’re welcome”. A more formal expression, not so often used, is “don’t mention it.” Far more common today, especially among younger people, is the informal expression “no problem”, which also has other uses.
“No problem” is also used with the meaning of agreeing to do something that you have been asked to do. The intention is to tell the person asking you that they have not caused you any difficulty because what you have been asked to do is easy or unimportant, and not worth worrying about: “Can you pick up Sophie when she gets out of school today?” “Sure, no problem.”
No problem is also used in situations where someone might think you are annoyed or angry about something they have done, and you want them to know that you are not annoyed: “I’m sorry, I dialed the wrong number.” “No problem.”
”
Found at:
http://books.google.com/books?id=ytJNRDL0zDgC&pg=PA172&lpg=PA172&dq=%22Cambridge+Dictionary+of+American+Idioms%22+%22no+problem%22&source=bl&ots=WKI5xRsEa2&sig=t0UYNS5k1CkEU7oww6Fpip_MVHk&hl=en&sa=X&ei=jCyvUOu2CerrigLq-oGABQ&ved=0CCsQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&q=%22Cambridge%20Dictionary%20of%20American%20Idioms%22%20%22no%20problem%22&f=false
I re-thought this:
The definition of “no problem”, where “thank you” is concerned, is “no thanks or apology is necessary”, found at http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/no_problem, http://thesaurasize.com/no+problem, etc. Google: “no problem” definition “no thanks or apology is necessary” returns 12,600,000 results.
I do have a problem with this, because, I feel that saying, “thank you” is ALWAYS necessary. Many times, people ignore that and are unappreciative. It shows a lack of caring for others. Then again, if someone, like a store clerk, states that your gratitude (thanks) is not necessary, they’re implying that you should take care of business and just leave because they really want no personal interaction whatsoever. Or, worse, does it mean that your thanks is unwanted (not necessary) and they are implying that you refrain from expressing your gratitude in the future, which is just plain rude and inappropriate. So, what’s my response to them? Good question.
I simply do not have a problem with the phrase. Furthermore, I cannot bring myself to understand how people find it offensive. It is just a way of acknowledging your willingness to help, or have helped. While I myself have pet peeve phrases, I think people are over-thinking this one.
I think “you’re welcome” sounds a little stuffy and people tend to say it automatically without any true sentiment. I do not mind, You’re welcome, no problem, no worries or my pleasure as responses to a thank you, as long as they are presented in a friendly, genuine way. It’s all about attitude. You’re welcome could be stated in a snotty, nasty tone, while no problem could be spoken with a friendly tone and a bright smile. In this case I would definitely prefer, no problem.
This has been a pet peeve of mine for a very long time, and I’m just about to the point of asking people what their problem is!! The response, “No problem,” makes me feel like I’ve put someone out for doing their job. The phrase is rude, and needs to be removed from our vocabulary for good. Thanks for listening.