 One of the most-asked questions I get at this time of year is: Should I continue to shake hands with people, especially now that we have the H1N1 virus and other diseases I might catch? Shaking hands is a time-honored practice. It stems as far back as Roman times, where contrary to its current meaning of a cordial greeting, handshaking was born out of a fear of the other person hiding a weapon. By shaking hands it proved both people were friendly and not about to attack. In 21st century terms, shaking hands is also a term used between two computer systems when negotiating whether each has proper permission to do the required tasks. We must still shake hands. How would you feel if you extended your hand and it was not returned? On this You-Tube video, President Obama appears not to be well received. While some reports state he was simply making introductions and thus was not required to shake hands, there’s no doubt it was an awkward situation. |
| Here’s another clip of our former President Bush where it appears he is not even attempting to shake hands with people. Again, how would you feel if someone didn’t extend his or her hand to shake yours?
In both instances, the events have reflected poorly on each president. With cameras constantly following them around, they never know who’s taping them doing an action outside normal accepted practices. So please continue to shake hands as the physical greeting that goes along with your words of greeting and farewell. Unless there is a pandemic and national and/or global alert outlawing handshaking, it is still the right thing to do when greeting people in most parts of the world. |
| How you can protect yourself
The Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has confirmed that the single best way to prevent influenza is to get the flu vaccine every year. Protect yourself, your family, and your friends with these simple steps to help stop the spread of germs: 1. Avoid close contact with people who are sick, and when you are sick, avoid close contact with others to protect them. When out and about and at work, consider wearing a mouth and nose mask to help confine your germs. I know it may appear awkward at first, yet once you get into the habit of using it you’ll quickly build your confidence in knowing you are doing the right thing. 2. If possible, stay home from work, school, day care, and errands when you are sick. You will help to prevent others from catching your illness. Here’s what gets me. People will stay home from work and school, yet they go to parties. Then while at the party, they say, “I don’t want to shake hands because I’m sick.” If you are well enough to be out at a party, you should be well enough to shake someone’s hand. 3. Cover your mouth and nose when coughing or sneezing. Use a tissue and drop it in the trash. Never sneeze into your hand. Rather, sneeze into your forearm and sleeve of your clothing. Your clothes help absorb the germs and leave your hands as germ free as possible. 4. Washing your hands often, especially after you cough or sneeze, will help stop germs from spreading. Always carry a small bottle or packets of hand sanitizer. Use it as often as you like in discreet ways, out of sight of other people. 5. Avoid touching your eyes, nose, and mouth. Sickness is often spread when you touch something contaminated with germs, and then touch your face. Always wash your hands or use a hand sanitizer after every ride in a taxi, airplane, on public transportation, and in a place where you are around lots of people. Other ways to stay healthy during this flu season and all year round:
My hot tip to avoid getting sick: One of the best preventions I have found is taking mega doses of vitamin C and drinking ample water. Tests have shown if you take in more vitamin C than your body can absorb, it will not be harmful and will simply be dispelled from your body. Drinking water, more so than any other form of fluid, helps flush your body of toxins. No other fluids provide the same results. So, when living an active and/or stressful life, take vitamin C in both tablet form and drink several glasses of the great flavors of Emergen-C. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Preventing the flu: good health habits for prevention. http://www.cdc.gov/flu/protect/habits.htm New Monthly Feature:Question of the month: Do you have a good, bad, or ugly handshaking story? I’d love to hear it. All you need to do is simply post the story in the comments section below to share! General Questions? I will personally reply to all your questions on international business and etiquette and protocol. P.S. Have you been receiving these newsletters via a forward from a friend? Isn’t it about time you received your own subscription? You know they are filled with fun and practical information, and it sure will save your friend extra work each month. Click here to receive your own free subscription. I promise never to sell or give away your information. Your direct subscription will be most appreciated and helpful to attracting a major publisher for my next book. Happy Practicing! |
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Ever endured the “dead fish” handshake?
When I was a little girl, my father, Sonny Barr, an officer in the United States Coast Guard, taught me the proper way to shake hands. It is a firm handshake that conveys warmth, an open mind and a willingness to work together. Imagine my surprise when I graduated from high school and shook hands with the principal, a man whom I held in great admiration! His hand was clammy, cold and his grip was weak. My entire view of him shifted in that moment at the end of a stage when his handshake did not match my perception of his personal impact and power upon his work environment.
If your handshake doesn’t match you, all it takes is a little practice to change it. Thank you so much Syndi for all of these great etiquette tips!
love it – very clear & easy to read
I like your format and content. Very valuable information.
Happy New Year Syndi! Good job!
Carla
Great first blog advanced Etiquette! Relevant and informative… Keep them coming…
As one born into a family with no tradition of “polish”, I love these tips.
Maybe there could be “permanent links” in the blog….to different topics, where one could “click to refresh one’s SIQ (social I.Q.)…
Cheers,
jack barry,
Congratulations on your new format. Great !
Skip
Syndi —
Love the new format.
My father told me to “Shake Hands Like a Man.” This was in the 60’s and as a “Women’s Libber”, I had real problems with his statement. It was later in life that I realized that this was his “shortcut” language for: For Heaven’s sake, don’t use a limp fish handshake. Be strong and firm and people will respect it.
Ms. Seid; I am old enough to remember when it was not fashionable for women to shake hands with other women(with the one exception if they were in some businesses), just men.. or formal lines of celebs, et al. We simply said “how do you do” and left it at that….In the 1970s…hand shaking became more fashionable among women again
Historically, handshaking was less practiced among women in the United States. Now, it is definitely performed equally by men and women and now children included.
S,
I usually really appreciate your column, but I think you are wrong on this one. My sources at CDC say the single best way to avoid the flu is to increase hand washing. I was in DC a few years ago at a meeting with the Deputy Surgeon General, and she absolutely did not want to shake my hand when I had a cough. High level politicians have assistants out of camera reach, who are ready with the hand sanitizer after every hand shaking session. I think a more nuanced response is on order. something like, if you are SURE neither you nor the other person has any sign of sickness, extend a hand. Otherwise, bring a very friendly smile, and say “I’m so happy to meet you, but I’ll avoid shaking your hand during flu season.”
Dear Alice: Great to hear from you. Yes, you are correct the best way to avoid the flu is to increase hand washing. Having hand sanitizer with you to use at all times is equally a great tip I also discuss. The only time I wouldn’t want to shake a person’s hand when I saw them coughing into their hand… yuck! As stated, we should all be coughing into our shirt sleeves or forearm, not our hands. I totally understand your perspective… Thank you for sharing.
Syndi: Way to go!!!! I am so proud of your very tech “with it” move for your newsletter….No snoozing and no losing…I really enjoyed it. Best, Sandy
Love your format.
Having just conducted ten interviews for a job vacancy, it was a must to shake hands. I just kept a bottle of hand sanitizer near an out of sight area and cleaned my hands between interviews. That way I greeted each applicant appropriately while protecting everyone as well by not spreading any “potential” germs.
Love the new website Syndi!
Syndi-
I just encountered the same situation. I was in a meeting with some orthodox Jews and, not being Jewish myself, I was unaware that the opposite sex does not touch one another (unless married and family). I stuck out my hand when introduced to the Rabbi and he just shrugged it off. It was uncomfortable for a minute, but we all went on.
It did lead me to do research so it was a learning experience for me. I think that had he taken 10 seconds to explain at the time, it would have been less awkward (at least for me). What do you think? How could I have been better prepared? Thanks- Candace
Dear Candace: Great hearing from you. Thank you! It is always difficult to correct what has already taken place in the past. You have, however, done absolutely the right thing by taking time to care enough to do some research to avoid the same situation happening in the future. Also, 1) Think twice whenever unsure about doing or saying certain things when in situations outside your normal life. 2) Ask people ahead of time or around you what to expect and how you should behave throughout certain ethnic and cultural events. [On an aside, I remember the first time I attended a full-blown Jewish wedding. Because it is such an audience participation-type event, I’m glad I was briefed ahead of time on what to expect and how to participate to feel comfortable before, during, and after the ceremony. It was truly the most beautiful and meaningful wedding I had ever attended. I can’t say enough… if you ever get a Jewish wedding invitation… don’t pass it up.] Anyway, doing research online is the easiest and fastest way to learn almost everything. Happy Practicing!
I have been travelling for a while and still love your website as you have not changed a bit! Kelsey
I have been to your site half a dozen times now, and this time I am adding it to my bookmarks 🙂 Your posts are always relevant, unlike the same-old stuff on other sites (which are coming off my bookmarks!) Keep it up!