Spring is upon us, Easter is coming soon, and baseball season is about to begin here in the U.S. It is the time of year many people wear all sorts of hats, until winter hats are again needed. Actually, this topic has been on my mind for months, waiting for just the right month to do it, and here it is!
Indoors: So… how can I say this nicely without yelling in all capital letters: No man or woman, young or old, should ever, ever, ever, ever wear a sports hat — especially a baseball cap—indoors. Not in restaurants, in someone’s home, at the dining table, at church, a funeral, in a classroom, in a museum, at a movie or performance theatre… on and on. There is absolutely no purpose to keeping your hat on… not even when you are having a bad hair day or need to cover up a bald spot on your head. It’s all about when it’s proper or not proper to wear a hat. It’s purely out of laziness and a false sense of looking cool and in fashion… not! There is equally nothing cool about wearing your baseball cap backwards… again especially indoors.
Except In Public Places: You may wear a hat indoors (yeh… even a baseball cap if you absolutely must) in public buildings, such as airports, public lobbies, and crowded public elevators. However, historically a gentleman will always remove his hat when a lady enters or is in the same elevator. We don’t see this much anymore. When in an apartment building, even though somewhat public, gentlemen will take off their hats while in the company of ladies… another dying art.
[SIDE BAR: A foreign visitor kept seeing Americans wearing their baseball caps indoors, and at times backwards. He determined this style indicated a direct correlation to the wearer’s apparent I.Q (intelligence quotient). Wearing a baseball cap indoors meant an I.Q. was reduced by 50%. Wearing the cap backwards meant an I.Q. was reduced by another 50%... so what’s left? These findings make total sense to me.]
During a Pledge or National Anthem: Another major peeve of mine is how men and women don’t take off their hats and caps during the playing of a national anthem. Regardless of which country’s anthem is played, hats must come off, period. Parents… please train your kids!
During a Prayer at a Ceremony or Event: Display your respect and take off your hat.
In Places of Worship: Some places of worship require head coverings for both men and women, such as Muslim mosques and Sikh temples. Do your research or ask someone before entering such places of worship. Women should always pack one large scarf and one long skirt when traveling internationally for such a need to cover your head. I sure needed them in both Mexico and Greece.
At a Church: Historically churches required women to wear hats or scarves. Now, it is not as required. However, some churches encourage women to wear hats, and in some places it has become quite a lovely display across the entire sanctuary. It is considered disrespectful for men to wear hats in a Christian church.
At a Jewish Synagogue or Temple: Men are required to cover their heads with a “yarmulke,” a small round skullcap, also called a “kippah,” meaning dome or cupola. There is great symbolism and deep meaning behind wearing a yarmulke. Observant men wear theirs during all waking hours, except when bathing and swimming. Doing so bears witness to their faith. It’s a constant reminder of their humility before God and strong belief in something greater than themselves.
How to Take off a Hat: When taking off your hat, hold it so only the outside of the hat shows, not the inside and lining. Hold it in your right hand across your chest and heart, or place it on your seat while standing tall and respectfully.
Exceptions
People in Uniform: People in the military, Boy Scouts, police and people in other uniformed organizations keep their hats on during “full dress.” Many other interesting regulations about hat wearing in the military exist, so hat etiquette is a required course in the military.
Women’s Fashion Hats: Traditionally, women wearing fashion hats are not required to take them off. That said, unless they are small and tight around the head, they too should be removed when at a dining table or in a theatre, sporting event, or other places where they may hamper someone’s view or be disruptive to others. Large hats are generally for the outdoors, not indoors. Think hat civility!
Question of the month: Have you ever been the subject of or a witness to someone being disrespectful or rude by wearing their hat inappropriately? If so, I’d love to hear from you. Enter your comments and questions below for me to reply.
Happy Practicing!
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Tags: baseball caps, hat etiquette, wearing hats
Syndi,
Please remind gentlemen that a baseball cap, when it comes off, should NEVER be placed on a dining table. I have seen people do this in restaurants. Who wants to sit near their smelly, sweaty hat/
Michele Patrick
Michele, you are absolutely correct about never placing baseball caps on the dining table. This is also true for women’s purses and most importantly cell phones! Thanks for writing.
I was recently at my brother-in-law’s funeral and saw many men there wearing their hat in the church.
Last week, I went to a winemaker’s dinner where a young man asked to join the table with his baseball hat still on his head. My freind said ” Yes, take off your hat.” He did and we had a wonderful time.
Hi Syndi,
I always learn something from your tips! Thanks!
I thought there was an etiquette rule that women should not wear a hat after 5 PM – I suppose that means in the evening. You didn’t mention this “rule.” Am I misinformed?
Also, I heard a couple years ago (but I can’t quote the source) that women did not have to remove their hats for the national anthem, such as at a sporting event. Perhaps that falls under your “Women’s Fashion Hats” category. But I’ll remove mine at the ball game from now on anyway.
Claire Koenig
Something I always try to remember is when greeting people in public outside that I remove my hat during the greeting, regardless of sex. Also, and I know it always bugged you – if I wear it in the office I always removed it when a visitor walked in, even delivery.
Dave, great to hear from you. I’m truly glad to hear you do take your hat off… “regardless of sex.” Most people would agree it is poor manners to keep your hat on during sex. Nevertheless, in the context you were writing I think the correct meaning you wanted to convey was that you always take off your hat “regardless of gender.” Glad to know you will be doing it right in both instances. Have a great weekend!
Claire: Rules change over time. What may have been proper in times past may or may not be accurate in the 21st century. The trend in today’s etiquette is to have guidelines that are overall universal to both men and woman. Historically women never wore hats designed for men… such as a fedora or baseball cap. Today both men and women wear the same type hats. You are correct when a woman is wearing a hat that was fashioned for women only, she does not have to remove her hat during a national anthem… as in the case of Aretha Franklin during the inauguration of President Obama. Yet, bottom-line is… why all this fuss? Why can’t everyone (civilians) simply take off their hats—no matter what—as a sign of respect? The trend as I see it is toward “The K.I.S.S. method”… (Keep It Simple… well, you know). Hope this helps. Thanks for writing.
Marti, bravo to your friend for asking the person to remove his hat before taking a seat at the dining table. I wish more people would say something to these obviously clueless offenders. This is truly among my very top pet peeves whenever I see it happening in restaurants. I’ve often threatened to walk around the restaurant to alert the offenders.
Lol.. Of course. I had a feeling that might be interpreted, er, differently. However, I strive for providing the appropriate etiquette entertainment.
Syndi,
I appreciate how you have addressed this sartorial issue. Wearing the baseball cap everywhere has been a pet peave of mine for some time. I will share your article on my facebook and twitter pages.
Karen Hickman
Karen: Please share away! Thank you! I appreciate your taking time to write and to share this important information. Let’s just hope it makes a difference to even one reader in this entire planet.
Where does one place one’s hat when seated at a table in a restaurant?
Dear Alma:
Good question. The answer in general is not on the dining table. Beyond this it is up to you where you choose to place your hat, including on the chair next to you, on your chairback, on your lap, or on top of or in your backpack or briefcase… perhaps even having it checked with coat check. It is tough, but it cannot be on the table or on your head. If anyone has any other “good” ideas, do share! Good luck.
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I am from the south and have been raised with the understanding that men do not wear hats inside the house, at the dinner table nor at church. While my husband, who was raised in Ohio, agrees about not wearing at church, he thinks I am being ridiculous about asking him to remove his hat when we are having a meal together. He said he had never heard of that. It is refreshing to read on this website what I have always been taught concerning hat etiquette. Thank you.
My daughter loves your post!She and I have the same interest b the way.
As a biker I wear the head gear commonly referred to as a skull cap or doo rag. It’s basically a headband with a top on it. I think it is treated the same way a woman’s scarf would be treated during a party or a quick prayer before going on a motorcycle ride. So the guy’s head gear, unless it’s a hat, doesn’t need to be removed during these casual events. Bikers tend to have their own set of rules in general but I’m very curious about how you all feel about it.
What say you?
Regarding skull caps, motorcycle helmets, and other head gear, I tend to agree that it does not need to be removed during an outdoor prayer at an event related to that sport. Beyond this, if you are indoors or—for instance—a baseball game during a national anthem, then the same rules applies with taking off your hat. What amazes me is why people keep trying to find “a way out” for doing something that should be no big deal… to take your hat off for just a few minutes out of courtesy and respect. Why is this so difficult to handle? The answer in my opinion is pure and simple “laziness.” Thank you for the comment and conversation.
Connie, bravo! Keep up the good work with not allowing your husband to wear a hat while you are having a meal together. Unless you are outdoors, I see no purpose to anyone wearing a hat indoors during a meal… except if you are a woman wearing a small chapeau though a luncheon or afternoon tea.
Elicia, great to have you and your daughter viewing our blogs. We’d love to have you as a regular subscriber. Do sign up!
ugh, met a guy at a nightclub last night and he was otherwise very nice. HOWEVER, he was wearing a baseball cap the entire time…and that is what is keeping me from calling him today. i feel like guys that wear caps are hiding something; not just physically (like balding or an ugly face) but psychologically they are blocking themselves off…and i never want to find out if what they are hiding is bad or not..i just get the hell away.
TayRiley: I have to say, even as a guy who wears ball caps and other head gear routinely, a nightclub may not be the best place to wear one IF you are trying to attract someone of the opposite sex.
On the other hand; if someone wants to be left alone by the opposite sex it sounds, by your comments, that it’s a great idea! Wear a hat and be left alone if that’s what your thing is. I’m going to have to remember this trick. Sometimes I like to just people watch and what better way to be left alone and look incognito!!
This subject has me intrigued I must admit.
Great job on the blog, it looks outstanding. I am going to save it and will make sure to check weekly
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It’s good to know that there are so many who believe that it is wrong for a man to wear a hat or cap when indoors or when having a meal.
I’ve always been taught that it is etiquette to take off your hat when you get into the house, and I’ve always tried to put that across to those I had to teach.
I hope parents and teachers will become aware of this and apply it in their situations.
Incredible, that’s just what I was scanning for! You just spared me alot of digging around