In all the years of writing “Etiquette Tip of the Month” articles, I’ve never written about Mother’s Day. This is odd, since I consider it a most important day each year. The U.S. established the second Sunday in May as Mother’s Day in 1914, with carnations as its official flower. For a fun history of this day, including a 3- minute video showing how this day stems from Roman times, and how it is celebrated in other countries, Click Here (Also at: https://www.history.com/topics/holidays/mothers-day/).

I have always honored and celebrated this day. When my Mom was still alive, I enjoyed celebrating it with her in especially nice ways that I might not have done otherwise the rest of the year. Now that’s she’s passed away, I make a point to either visit her grave on this day, or take some quiet time to think about all the love and great times we had together.

This month’s tip is about the etiquette of taking time to celebrate and honor motherhood, whether with your own biological Mother, Grandmother, Stepmother, Aunt, Foster Mom or other mother figure who had a role in guiding you through life—living or dead. This year and every year, as a way to thank her for all she has done for you, take time to see and celebrate her, or remember her in fond memory.

When nearby
• If your Mom lives anyplace close—say within 88 miles—you definitely should make a point to visit and spend time with her. I hear about children who live just across town from their Moms and don’t see her for months or years. Make this the one time of year you make every effort to see her… especially when she’s in a nursing home or living alone.

• It doesn’t have to be on the exact date; however, do place a call to schedule the date on or before Mother’s Day, as it’s not good to do it afterwards.  The true gift is in honoring her on this day.

• Mother’s Day is known to be the busiest single day in restaurants. So if you don’t enjoy crowds at restaurants, cook Mom a nice dinner at home (yours or hers), or have food delivered or brought home. Since the beginning of time, “breaking bread” by sharing a meal together has been the best way to spend time with someone.

• Of course, you can also give gifts, a card or handwritten note, flowers, candy, and other things you know she’ll like. Every one of us of all ages likes presents.

• No matter what, nothing replaces in-person visits as the most precious gift. What we are truly giving is the gift of time, which holds us back from doing many things. We’ll say, “Oh, forget it, it will take too long.”

When far away:
• The next best thing is to telephone her on or before Mother’s Day. It shows you remembered and cared enough to spend some time with her. It’s better than sending a card by regular mail or an email.

• You can also send gifts; however, the point here is giving her the gift of hearing your voice. There are no longer any excuses of the call costing too much.

When passed away:
• If your Mom is laid to rest within driving distance, go visit her. If she is not nearby, send flowers to be placed at her site for all to see. The effort will enrich the soul.

When estranged:
• Perhaps you have not spoken or seen your Mom for years. While I understand how this may be true and how the two of you will never be close, there has to be at least one fond memory to remember and hold dear. So, if there is even one ounce of love for who your Mom was to you in your past life together, hold that thought close and send her a card or note. Here’s an example:
“Dear Mom, I know we haven’t spoken in years and we may never reconcile our differences, yet I wanted to wish you Happy Mother’s Day and to let you know I still love and honor you as my mother. I remember (add memory of how or when it was good) when I was a child. This remains one of my fondest memories between us. I just wanted to let you know I thought of you on this day.”

Friends who are Mothers:
• Over the years I’ve given cards or brief handwritten notes to women I know who are great moms. I thank them for all they do for their child. Sometimes they are surprised and ask me why I sent them a card, when they’re not my mother and I’m not their child. My response is always the same. I just wanted them to know how much I appreciate the responsibility they took on in nurturing the next generation of adults in society.

So send a Mom you know a card or note to honor them on this day. Even just saying “Happy Mother’s Day” to a co-worker that Friday, before the weekend, a neighbor, or some you know who is a Mom will be a nice gesture I’m sure they will appreciate.

Question: As part of our continued cultural awareness… If you are from a country outside the U.S. that celebrates Mother’s Day, let us hear about when and what takes place to celebrate this day in that country. I always find it fun to learn about other traditions.

Happy Mother’s Day to all who have children in the world!

Happy Practicing!